SO in high school, girls like confident/cocky guys?

[bsilmb]

well after years if being shy and super nice to girls with not much avail, I took up some PUA material and now quite a few girls like me. basically what I learned to do was to just be confident and treat girls just like guys and don't think of their beauty. I stopped putting them on a pedestal. I would joke with them and kinda insult them playfully but they liked it. these aren't whores or sluts, just normal girls.

 

why does this work so well?

[runner]

be careful with that PUA crap. the only bit i'd walk away with is, 'don't put them on a pedestal', and be confident in yourself.

 

in any case, just be real.

[that girl]

Oy vey.

 

The problem you were having before wasn't that you were too nice, it was that you were shy and were probably either waiting for girls to make the first move or spending months obsessing over girls before asking them out.

 

No matter what you look like, there were always a few girls who thought you were cute but odds are you never asked them out.

 

The more girls you talk to, the better the odds that one will like you.

 

You don't have to buy into all this pick up artist, pedestal bull****.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

SO in high school, girls like confident/cocky guys?

 

 

Uhhhhhhhhh, not exactly.

 

You haven't allowed for the high probability that the high school girls you see either putting-out or making everyone think they do put-out, are those just following the life pattern set by their own earlier and involuntary childhood experiences.

 

It is easy to look around at a class of 300 kids, 150 female, and see 6 or 8 of those girls french kissing and fondling with no care as to who sees or knows. Thinking that those girls represent all 150, in large part because life sped-up their sexuality (usually on somebody else's terms), is a giant mistake.

 

Of course those 6 or 8 high school girls are going to be with guys who everyone knows to be "cocky" (and then some), mostly because that is the kind of guy responsible in one way or another for their sped-up sexuality. That is the only sort of guy they know.

[Eddie Edirol]

well after years if being shy and super nice to girls with not much avail, I took up some PUA material and now quite a few girls like me. basically what I learned to do was to just be confident and treat girls just like guys and don't think of their beauty. I stopped putting them on a pedestal. I would joke with them and kinda insult them playfully but they liked it. these aren't whores or sluts, just normal girls.

 

why does this work so well?

 

This works so well because you are showing them that you dont need them, none of them are special, they have to earn your attention, and you make yourself appear like you have your pick of the litter. Thats the gist of the PUA stuff. Keep it up, it will carry you throughout your dating life. Most people on this board frown on it because they dont read up on it, or they read it to criticize it, not understand it. The psychology of the right PUA stuff works when its done with the right intentions.

Edited December 20, 2010 by Eddie Edirol

[that girl]

This works so well because you are showing them that you dont need them, none of them are special, they have to earn your attention, and you make yourself appear like you have your pick of the litter. Thats the gist of the PUA stuff. Keep it up, it will carry you throughout your dating life. Most people on this board frown on it because they dont read up on it, or they read it to criticize it, not understand it. The psychology of the right PUA stuff works when its done with the right intentions.

Eddie- have you had any long term, functional happy relationships with women?

 

Because I have really never met a mentally stable, relationship material person who will put up with earning attention.

 

And I say this as someone with relatively high self-esteem- I am nice to people because I know what I'm worth and I don't need to prove anything. I'm all for self-confidence and knowing that you don't have to put up with disrespectful people, which I why I think the PUA scene is messed up. It is a sign of low self-esteem to think about how you don't need anyone and no one is special.

[Mad Max]

Eddie- have you had any long term, functional happy relationships with women?

 

Because I have really never met a mentally stable, relationship material person who will put up with earning attention.

 

And I say this as someone with relatively high self-esteem- I am nice to people because I know what I'm worth and I don't need to prove anything. I'm all for self-confidence and knowing that you don't have to put up with disrespectful people, which I why I think the PUA scene is messed up. It is a sign of low self-esteem to think about how you don't need anyone and no one is special.

 

 

Typical female response. I'm not a fan of PUA myself, but women are subconsciously attracted to that behavior, even if they say they aren't.

 

OP, your results show it works. The reason women are pissed off is because they lose power. You have the upper hand and that is what pisses them off.

[U1987]

Eddie- have you had any long term, functional happy relationships with women?

 

He's in high school!!!

[Eddie Edirol]

Eddie- have you had any long term, functional happy relationships with women?

 

Because I have really never met a mentally stable, relationship material person who will put up with earning attention.

 

And I say this as someone with relatively high self-esteem- I am nice to people because I know what I'm worth and I don't need to prove anything. I'm all for self-confidence and knowing that you don't have to put up with disrespectful people, which I why I think the PUA scene is messed up. It is a sign of low self-esteem to think about how you don't need anyone and no one is special.

 

This happens everytime PUA is mentioned. I knew it would.

[that girl]

The reason women are pissed off is because they lose power. You have the upper hand and that is what pisses them off.

No, it isn't. I think it is a crappy way to treat anyone and I don't think it is okay to treat people badly.

 

I really don't understand how anyone who has read this forum thinks women feel they have the upper hand. Have you seen none of the posts from women wondering if he's interested, wondering if he'll call or wondering if he wants a relationship?

 

Women are not out there rubbing their hands in glee as the break poor helpless men. They're generally looking for someone they like who likes them back just like guys.

 

And Eddie you can roll your eyes, but did PUA tactics get you a sweet and loving girlfriend? None of these PUA guys seem to have an awesome and devoted significant other (the ones who work with them don't count). If you want to have one night stands with low self esteem women, I think some of these tips do work. But it isn't what anyone should be reccomending to a teenage boy- it is putting him on a path to being bitter and alone when he probably just needed to be a bit more friendly. Girls aren't the enemy.

[Eddie Edirol]

No, it isn't. I think it is a crappy way to treat anyone and I don't think it is okay to treat people badly.

 

I really don't understand how anyone who has read this forum thinks women feel they have the upper hand. Have you seen none of the posts from women wondering if he's interested, wondering if he'll call or wondering if he wants a relationship?

 

Women are not out there rubbing their hands in glee as the break poor helpless men. They're generally looking for someone they like who likes them back just like guys.

 

And Eddie you can roll your eyes, but did PUA tactics get you a sweet and loving girlfriend? None of these PUA guys seem to have an awesome and devoted significant other (the ones who work with them don't count). If you want to have one night stands with low self esteem women, I think some of these tips do work. But it isn't what anyone should be reccomending to a teenage boy- it is putting him on a path to being bitter and alone when he probably just needed to be a bit more friendly. Girls aren't the enemy.

 

Like I said, you have no idea what the PUA techniques are about. And yes, PUA gets me a sweet and loving gf every time. It helps anyone weed out the low self esteem women. Thats why the teenage boy needs it. He can use it to have one night stands, or attract a girl that he wants to be exclusive with. Its not just for easy sex. Anyone who learns PUA can get and keep an awesome and devoted gf...if thats what he wants.

[callingyouuu]

In short, yes, it works in high school and to a large extent in college because a big chunk of attractive women at that age are attracted to guys who are "mysterious." Guys who don't put girls on a pedestal and appear as if they know what they're doing fit the bill. However, not all of us are good actors, and women are much more perceptive than men in general, so the "fakeness" of the PUA users comes out after a while. As women get older and are increasingly disappointed by their PUA boyfriends, the balance switches. However, the basic principles of confidence and not putting your SO on a pedestal survive for pretty much all of eternity.

 

As much as I'm not a fan of PUA, it does a decent job of teaching guys with low self-esteem to not put up with a bad partner, a VERY important lesson in today's dating climate.

 

In short, OP, use it for now, but think of it as a short-term solution for a long-term problem.

[that girl]

And yes, PUA gets me a sweet and loving gf every time. It helps anyone weed out the low self esteem women.

Bull.

 

Nice girls with self-esteem aren't going out with guys who sit make them earn their attention. They have other options and if you have self-esteem you're not looking for mind games.

 

Eddie you really showed your hand with "it gets me a sweet and loving girlfriend every time." If you had an awesome girlfriend, you wouldn't be looking for a new one. I don't think this PUA thing has worked out for you, but you get to think women are less than you and for some guys that is enough.

 

Seriously guys, women are people just like you. Some of them will put up with manipulative drama if they have issues but the ones who don't won't put up with being interchangeable or having to earn your attention.

 

Stop lying to the poor kid.

 

Teenage girls are happy to have a decent looking, nice seeming guy take interest in them. It won't necessarily lead to a physical relationship because teenagers are awkward, but it doesn't take mystery to get a girlfriend in high school.

 

To get a girlfriend in high school or as a grown up, you have to:

 

1- Interact with women

 

2- Be able to hold up your end of the conversation

 

3- Recognize who might be interested

 

4- Not get hung up on girls who aren't interested (accepting she isn't into you and being able to move on nicely)

 

5- Asking girls who seem interested out

 

It isn't about making anyone prove themselves or trying to lower their self esteem. Those are jerk moves that bring drama. You might be getting laid with the drama but it seriously is not necessary drama.

 

PUA stuff is usually attractive to bitter guys who have women issues to begin with. For a high school boy to be taught this whole "they need to prove themselves to me" is setting him up to be lonely. Rather than doing the normal get up the guts to talk to her route, it is telling him the best way to get women is to dislike them. That is just damaging.

[bossdaddy]

bull.

 

Nice girls with self-esteem aren't going out with guys who sit make them earn their attention. They have other options and if you have self-esteem you're not looking for mind games.

 

Eddie you really showed your hand with "it gets me a sweet and loving girlfriend every time." if you had an awesome girlfriend, you wouldn't be looking for a new one. I don't think this pua thing has worked out for you, but you get to think women are less than you and for some guys that is enough.

 

Seriously guys, women are people just like you. Some of them will put up with manipulative drama if they have issues but the ones who don't won't put up with being interchangeable or having to earn your attention.

 

Stop lying to the poor kid.

 

Teenage girls are happy to have a decent looking, nice seeming guy take interest in them. It won't necessarily lead to a physical relationship because teenagers are awkward, but it doesn't take mystery to get a girlfriend in high school.

 

To get a girlfriend in high school or as a grown up, you have to:

 

1- interact with women

 

2- be able to hold up your end of the conversation

 

3- recognize who might be interested

 

4- not get hung up on girls who aren't interested (accepting she isn't into you and being able to move on nicely)

 

5- asking girls who seem interested out

 

it isn't about making anyone prove themselves or trying to lower their self esteem. Those are jerk moves that bring drama. You might be getting laid with the drama but it seriously is not necessary drama.

 

Pua stuff is usually attractive to bitter guys who have women issues to begin with. For a high school boy to be taught this whole "they need to prove themselves to me" is setting him up to be lonely. Rather than doing the normal get up the guts to talk to her route, it is telling him the best way to get women is to dislike them. That is just damaging.

 

she....is...pissed

[callingyouuu]

Teenage girls are happy to have a decent looking, nice seeming guy take interest in them. It won't necessarily lead to a physical relationship because teenagers are awkward, but it doesn't take mystery to get a girlfriend in high school.

 

On behalf of the decent-looking, nice-seeming guys who these girls are supposedly happy to have, this is absolutely false in high school, especially if you are aiming for a more attractive/popular girl. This gets MUCH different as you get older, though.

 

To get a girlfriend in high school or as a grown up, you have to:

 

1- Interact with women

 

2- Be able to hold up your end of the conversation

 

3- Recognize who might be interested

 

4- Not get hung up on girls who aren't interested (accepting she isn't into you and being able to move on nicely)

 

5- Asking girls who seem interested out

 

All of these are included in PUA stuff. A lot of their stuff on #3 is pretty accurate, actually.

 

I think the part you take offense to is the one where you make the person have to "earn" your attention. I agree that the contrived nature of forcing them to earn your attention when they really don't have to is disgusting. I agree that they bring drama, and on the whole are unnecessary. However, in the OP's case, they bring relationships and a good deal the physical stuff that comes with it, which is pretty much all you need in high school.

[that girl]

On behalf of the decent-looking, nice-seeming guys who these girls are supposedly happy to have, this is absolutely false in high school, especially if you are aiming for a more attractive/popular girl. This gets MUCH different as you get older, though.

Oh Jeez, obviously being a decent looking, friendly, nice guy isn't going to get you any girl you want. I'm just saying that it will give you options.

 

If you are only willing to date the best looking, most popular people in high school you better be one of the best looking, most popular people too. And that generally holds true for grown up life too.

 

If you're holding out for the prom queen, good luck.

 

I think the part you take offense to is the one where you make the person have to "earn" your attention. I agree that the contrived nature of forcing them to earn your attention when they really don't have to is disgusting. I agree that they bring drama, and on the whole are unnecessary. However, in the OP's case, they bring relationships and a good deal the physical stuff that comes with it, which is pretty much all you need in high school.

I think about 10% of pick up artist material is valid. The rest is really manipulative.

 

The OP is probably no more than 17, he still has a shot at being a guy who naturally has decent luck with women if he accepts that not every girl will like him no matter what he does and looks at them as people. Lots of nice, decent looking guys have lovely girlfriends by just having decent social skills. But they're not the ones holding out for the most popular or hottest girls, pretty and nice is generally enough.

 

But if he dives into the pick up artist stuff, he's screwed. A grown man who is a little shy can read that stuff, get a few pointers and forget the nasty stuff. A 17 year old is a lot more impressionable and a lot more likely to be twisted by it.

 

It doesn't help that men lie about how well this stuff works. I don't deny it will get you a particular type of damaged, drama queen girl. But it isn't getting high quality women to be your girlfriend (maybe your one night stand if she's horny and bored but then all you had to do is talk to her for that). I don't know why guys pretend it does, the women they show in the videos are generally attractive but they're also dumb, shallow and not very nice (or at least they fake being these things for money).

 

OP, seriously just talk to girls. They're not all going to like you but I guarantee that some girl was sitting in your bio or history class thinking you were kind of cute and hoping you'd talk to her. If you don't get hung up on girls who aren't interested and keep an eye on who seems psyched to talk to you, you'll find a nice girl who wants to make out with you and maybe more. You shouldn't think of girls as these otherworldly creatures who you aren't good enough for, but you also shouldn't be trying to knock them down or make them prove their worth. That crap will just make you a jerk.

 

There are a lot of bitter grown men on this forum. Don't turn out like them. If PUA materials give you an idea of how to start a conversation, awesome. But don't think these guys have the answers. None of them have advanced degrees in psychology or sociology, they're basically con men who prey on the lonely.

[sfweb]

it work well because girls likes that we treat them as a normal human being and behave as like we treat with our friends(male) not consider them superstitiously.

 

well after years if being shy and super nice to girls with not much avail, I took up some PUA material and now quite a few girls like me. basically what I learned to do was to just be confident and treat girls just like guys and don't think of their beauty. I stopped putting them on a pedestal. I would joke with them and kinda insult them playfully but they liked it. these aren't whores or sluts, just normal girls.

 

why does this work so well?

[ascendotum]

In short, yes, it works in high school and to a large extent in college because a big chunk of attractive women at that age are attracted to guys who are "mysterious." Guys who don't put girls on a pedestal and appear as if they know what they're doing fit the bill. However, not all of us are good actors, and women are much more perceptive than men in general, so the "fakeness" of the PUA users comes out after a while. As women get older and are increasingly disappointed by their PUA boyfriends, the balance switches. However, the basic principles of confidence and not putting your SO on a pedestal survive for pretty much all of eternity.

 

As much as I'm not a fan of PUA, it does a decent job of teaching guys with low self-esteem to not put up with a bad partner, a VERY important lesson in today's dating climate.

 

In short, OP, use it for now, but think of it as a short-term solution for a long-term problem.

 

 

Excellent post.

 

Pua stuff is usually attractive to bitter guys who have women issues to begin with.

 

PUA taught as a strategy to get with women yes...however a lot of the principles taught as PUA tactics I saw being done by guys back in the early 90s before anyone heard of the term PUA. There are a lot of good looking confident guys out there who charm the panties of many women who don't read PUA techniques. These guys are naturals, they learnt as they went along with each successive pick up or pick up attempt. PUA approaches just distill their approaches (learned techniques from observing naturals) and from field testing methods, and learning what works...ie what women positively respond to. Not all of it is good, and the principles of some of its devotees are not ideal, but some of it can assist guys with their confidence and approaches. Confidence, self esteem...what every woman wants in guy.

 

I've seen the women that my good looking playa mates used to go home with doing some of the PUA techniques, ie negging (they were pretty blunt sometimes), and these girls were not dippy, desperate, naive, insecure things. They were for the most that I witnessed, outgoing, brash, hot looking, young career women.

[SomewhatExperienced]

Remember the mind of a teenager girl is very different than that of an adult. Most teenage girls (as well as guys) usually have pretty low self-esteem when it comes to how they perceive they own ability to attract others. Often, it's the cocky/confident guys who are willing to make moves/ask them out which makes them feel much better about themselves. Probably, it's actually a bit of a rush on some levels.

 

This is why *******s in high school have a much easier time treating their girlfriends like s**t. The satisfaction the girl receives by being with a guy who tells them they're hot and wants to f**k them is greater than the negative side of being treated like garbage.

 

When girls get older they usually have more experience to internally know they can attract guys and don't need to latch on to the first guy who makes a move on them. They can be choosier because they know that there's more guys out there who would be interested to choose from.

[LimboNewb]

My personal opinion (guy here) is that I don't agree with the ends justifying the means. I sincerely doubt that any girl I would get using most of the methods advocated is a girl I would actually want to date. I guess if all you're out for is sex there might be validity to the "method" but just let me know so I can avoid said people

[U1987]

 

1- Interact with women

 

That Girl! He! Is! In! High School!

 

There are no "women" (as in, mature females) in high school! Only immature girls!

 

Are you suggesting he hit on teachers and TA's?

[Eddie Edirol]

BSILmb, do your thing, Its working for ya and the stuff you read will help you understand how to deal with women in every situation as you get older. You will never have to wonder why who does what. You will be way ahead of the game of the other boys understanding what turns women on and off. You will know exactly where you made your mistakes and how to read people very early. have fun!

Edited December 20, 2010 by Eddie Edirol

[samspade]

Women always love confident and cocky guys. They will also always tell you different.

 

Watch what they do, don't listen to what they say.

[Jannah]

In high school, I dated the cool guy .

 

He was confident, kind and caring. Outwardly, he came across as a hard ass, and no one messed with him because he was known to have a nasty right hook. But underneath, he was sweet as a kitten.

[Mad Max]

I think about 10% of pick up artist material is valid. The rest is really manipulative.

 

 

I don't doubt that it's manipulative, but it's way more than 10% accurate. The fact is it works, whether women admit it or not.

 

 

Women always love confident and cocky guys. They will also always tell you different.

 

Watch what they do, don't listen to what they say.

 

 

^^^This^^^