sirweasles Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I am completely obsesed with my wife how do i stop thinking about her all the time how do I move on if she is the top most thought in my head 24/7 this is killing me sombody please give me some advise.
coltsfan1 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 this will pass, how long will have you all been sperated.
NeNinja Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 As cold as it sounds you need to think of this process as a war. Everytime you want to call/text/email her to beg/plead/apologize you need to consider that a battle. Wars are won two ways: Big, valiant last ditch efforts where lots of people are hurt, the survivors get medals, and losses are almost as big as the gains. This would be the grand gesture-the three page email, the dozen roses, the crying on the phone and telling her everything you want to say. OR...you can win one battle at a time. Set small goals. Go to the gym for an hour without thinking about her or calling, texting, etc. Tell yourself NO, I'LL CONSIDER IT AGAIN AFTER LUNCH. As time goes by set bigger goals. Try a day. Try a weekend. Try a week. Win small battles and you'll win the war.
Fern Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 since september It's still early days. It will eventually stop hurting - as long as you are keeping up NC! Seeing them or getting in touch just puts you back to square one. I've been split from my ex now for more than 4 months. It must be nearly 5 months now. And although he still gets FAR more headspace than I'd like - I'm not hurting anymore when I think about him. You'll get to that point to, I promise. And sooner than you imagine. Stay stong!
Author sirweasles Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 I have three kids with her and they are still very young NC is not an option for me.
Fern Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I have three kids with her and they are still very young NC is not an option for me. Then keep the contact as limited as possible and ONLY about the children. You need to be kind to yourself right now. We all remember how it feels. It's AWFUL. Worse than any physical pain I've ever experienced - but it WILL pass. I promise. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. The only way out is through. I'm sorry.
whatadeer26 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 There is no miracle cure. I'm sorry you are in a position like us. I wouldn't wish my pain on anyone, but it will go away. Slowly, but surely. I had an extremly hard time processing my breakup, but trust me it will dwindle.
J0N Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I agree I would keep any communication at an absolute minimum, and just about the kids. A lady at my office is went through a similar situation (divorce multiple kids), it does take a little longer to get over since NC isn't an option but eventually it will pass over. Take up a new hobby to help take your mind off of the situation. Best of luck
worlybear Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 You cry. And then you cry some more and then you pick yourself up and keep on going forwards for the kids.
Author sirweasles Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Im on medication for depression now but it doesnt seem to work or somthing maybe it hasnt had enough time to work but the thought of not having her with me forever makes me want to die and i have faught the erges but man the pain is so unbaruble I just want to be happy again.
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