Username37 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Both of our families got invited to this Christmas social. I've been on NC for a while and I'm not looking to break it. What should I do? My parents are pretty much forcing me to talk to her when I told them I not planning to. They think I should try to "bury the hatchet" with her. I'm mostly worried that my ex girlfriend's new boyfriend will be there. I can't stand looking at them during school and at a party would be worse. So what should I do?
Leandro Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 If you really have to talk to her, just keep it simple. Don't bring up the relationship up at all and don't ask about her relationship with her bf. If he is there, act more mature. Don't walk around all sad and don't be given her an attitude. It will make you look good. Dress good if you can with some good cologne, not for her, but to boost your confidence and maybe attract some other girls . I really don't know, just saying.
bonpaw2008 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Stick to your guns, keep NC if that makes you feel right. Don't let other people tell you what to do, they are not you
Author Username37 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Yeah my ex is at the party...I feel really sick
Author Username37 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 you're there right now? Yup, I typed that last one with my phone haha Just got back. I made an ass of myself. I stayed away from everyone the whole night. I just spoke to my friends on the phone, vented a little. My ex's mom told my dad that my ex is seeing someone new. I don't understand why she would do that but yeah. According to my dad, her parents are aware how I feel and according to my brother, she wanted to talk to me and kept on asking for me. So yeah, I made an ass out of myself and I'm pretty ticked. At least I'm still on NC? haha
jquest1280 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 So yeah, I made an ass out of myself and I'm pretty ticked. At least I'm still on NC? haha We usually feel that we make asses out of ourselves with every encounter. Here am I, years after the breakup, and I see my ex once or twice a year at events (we belong to a common group of friends). And every time, I never feel ok after seeing him. I would feel I acted stupid, or silly, or tried too hard, or laughed too much, or could have been warmer, or was too warm. But I also know from experience that these anxious feelings will dissipate after about 3 days. So forget last night; if you dropped the ball, pick it up and keep moving forward, and don't break NC.
Leandro Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Yup, I typed that last one with my phone haha Just got back. I made an ass of myself. I stayed away from everyone the whole night. I just spoke to my friends on the phone, vented a little. My ex's mom told my dad that my ex is seeing someone new. I don't understand why she would do that but yeah. According to my dad, her parents are aware how I feel and according to my brother, she wanted to talk to me and kept on asking for me. So yeah, I made an ass out of myself and I'm pretty ticked. At least I'm still on NC? haha wow, she's been in what? 6 relationships since you? that's a problem I think, lol. Don't worry if you made yourself look like an ass last night. How are you and that one friend?
Author Username37 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 wow, she's been in what? 6 relationships since you? that's a problem I think, lol. Don't worry if you made yourself look like an ass last night. How are you and that one friend? 5 flings and a new boyfriend. I was her first. That is a problem. She's full of problems. I can't stop thinking about last night, her parents saw me by myself talking on the phone and they claim they know how I feel when they clearly don't because her parents probably don't know the full story. And my brother told me she was looking for me. What would she ask honestly? We're fine. I told her I wasn't looking for anything at the moment, so we're just gonna be friends for now and when it happens it happens haha We usually feel that we make asses out of ourselves with every encounter. Here am I, years after the breakup, and I see my ex once or twice a year at events (we belong to a common group of friends). And every time, I never feel ok after seeing him. I would feel I acted stupid, or silly, or tried too hard, or laughed too much, or could have been warmer, or was too warm. But I also know from experience that these anxious feelings will dissipate after about 3 days. So forget last night; if you dropped the ball, pick it up and keep moving forward, and don't break NC. I'm glad I didn't break NC. But I hate how they saw me as a "wreak" They're probably laughing and she probably feels like she won or something. ****ing bitch
Chi townD Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 First off. It was wrong of your parents to make you go to that thing, knowing that your EX was there. I would have told them that you are still hurting by what happened between the two of you and you weren't ready to be in the same room with her. I wonder what the hell she wanted to talk to you about? Rub your face in it a little more? Christ....
Ajax Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 First off. It was wrong of your parents to make you go to that thing' date=' knowing that your EX was there. I would have told them that you are still hurting by what happened between the two of you and you weren't ready to be in the same room with her. I wonder what the hell she wanted to talk to you about? Rub your face in it a little more? Christ....[/quote'] I agree, they should have let you be. What kind of Christmas party was it? I'm glad I didn't break NC. But I hate how they saw me as a "wreak" They're probably laughing and she probably feels like she won or something. ****ing bitch. I guess it's a good thing she didn't find you! I think you handled the situation well enough. You're always going to analyze and overthink how you acted, I wouldn't beat yourself up. You got dealt a crap hand and played it the best you could.
Author Username37 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 First off. It was wrong of your parents to make you go to that thing, knowing that your EX was there. I would have told them that you are still hurting by what happened between the two of you and you weren't ready to be in the same room with her. I wonder what the hell she wanted to talk to you about? Rub your face in it a little more? Christ.... They knew damn well she was gonna be there. They told me "she's gonna be there, plan what you're gonna do" and they just made a mockery of the whole thing. My brother especially, but he's never been in a relationship so his jokes didn't really get to me. I told my family that I had no plans on talking to her. And if she did want to talk, she didn't put any effort. She didn't look for me or anything ya know? I agree, they should have let you be. What kind of Christmas party was it? I guess it's a good thing she didn't find you! I think you handled the situation well enough. You're always going to analyze and overthink how you acted, I wouldn't beat yourself up. You got dealt a crap hand and played it the best you could. My parents are doctors and they have these big get togethers. My ex is really close with the hosts. She saw me a few times talking on the phone outside and when she opened the door. I felt like I could at least socialized with my brother and the others at that party instead of isolate myself from everybody else ya know, to show her I'm living life and not pining over her. What really ticks me off is the fact that they "knew how I felt" they really don't. And telling my parents about the new boyfriend is just a terrible shot.
Chi townD Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 How did your parents respond after the whole "debacle"? They finally understood where you were coming from?
Author Username37 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 How did your parents respond after the whole "debacle"? They finally understood where you were coming from? Ehh kinda....
Author Username37 Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 How did your parents respond after the whole "debacle"? They finally understood where you were coming from? Whoops meant to put more in the last post. Couldn't edit on time. They kinda did. They don't fully understand. They said they were on my side as a joke. Yeah, I know I'm young and everything but this is my first heartbreak and shouldn't parents be the one to comfort, not laugh at this pain?
Leandro Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Whoops meant to put more in the last post. Couldn't edit on time. They kinda did. They don't fully understand. They said they were on my side as a joke. Yeah, I know I'm young and everything but this is my first heartbreak and shouldn't parents be the one to comfort, not laugh at this pain? Yea, i don't understand them. My dad was my mom's first love, so she doesn't know what I felt and still feel today. My dad wasn't much help. They both joke about it to.
Chi townD Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Unfortunately heartbreak is just one part of growing up. Something we all have to deal with in our lifetime in some form or another. Just keep in mind that your parents know that your young and that in their mind, this was a puppy love thing for you and even though it's very real for you, they have a hard time understanding the pain that you're in. Im sure your parents want nothing but the best for you. If you talk to them in a calm and grown up manner and tell them how you feel about the situation, they may take you seriously and listen.
Author Username37 Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Yea, i don't understand them. My dad was my mom's first love, so she doesn't know what I felt and still feel today. My dad wasn't much help. They both joke about it to. That's terrible. It shouldn't be that way. Unfortunately heartbreak is just one part of growing up. Something we all have to deal with in our lifetime in some form or another. Just keep in mind that your parents know that your young and that in their mind, this was a puppy love thing for you and even though it's very real for you, they have a hard time understanding the pain that you're in. Im sure your parents want nothing but the best for you. If you talk to them in a calm and grown up manner and tell them how you feel about the situation, they may take you seriously and listen. I always get the answer "eh it was puppy love" but I always hated that response. I did really love her and I wanted a future with her. I'm gaining more understanding since I joined LS in June. I don't know where I would be if I didn't. and I can't talk to them about it. They really don't get it.
Leandro Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Well it's done and over with now. Just keep on moving. .
Chi townD Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Your parents used the puppy love thing? DAMN I'M GOOD!
Author Username37 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 You guys are gonna get a kick out of this So at that party, my mom and my ex's mom spoke. My mom is a very nosy person and she asked "so why was your daughter mad at my son the day they broke up?" and my ex's mom said "because he did eat the cake she made him" The funny thing is, the day AFTER she dumped me she told me the icing on the cake WAS expired....so shouldn't she be happy I DIDN'T eat the cake? What a bitch...
vandelay Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 The funny thing is, the day AFTER she dumped me she told me the icing on the cake WAS expired....so shouldn't she be happy I DIDN'T eat the cake? What a bitch... HA HA HA!!! What the f*ck? Laughing with you, my friend...
Author Username37 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 HA HA HA!!! What the f*ck? Laughing with you, my friend... I know, it's pretty stupid huh? It really pushed her to dump me. How crazy is that?
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