psadvocate Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I've been dating a guy for 3 months now, and we only hang out 2 times a week...I am able to spend the night at his apartment but...2 times seems weird. I know I typically date VERY clingy guys - every relationship I've had we've been living together after 3 months....but it this too far on the other end of the spectrum? He rarely asks me to hang out, I always have to be the one to initiate it too...sometimes I feel like if I didnt text him, I wouldnt hear from him for days!! What is normal here?
january2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 (edited) What's "normal" is up to each person in the relationship to decide and negotiate. If you feel that you want to see more of him but he's happy with the current frequency, then you need to decide if it's a dealbreaker for you. Same goes with contact and initiating meet ups. You could try pulling back and see if he steps up to the plate but I have a feeling that that may come across as gameplaying. And if it has been going like this for the entire relationship, then he may see no reason to rock the boat, so to speak. You could also try a more direct approach and have a frank talk with him about seeing each other more frequently. If you agree to more face-time, you may not need so much texting/phone time - that is, it may balance itself out. Edited December 19, 2010 by january2010
musemaj11 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Dont seem desperate. Have some dignity. Only initiate so often and expect the other person to return the gesture. If he doesnt do anything then he is not that into you. When someone is interested, he/she will show the interest. Unless that person is a game player in which case you probably dont want such a person anyway.
Str8noChaser Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I've been dating a guy for 3 months now, and we only hang out 2 times a week...I am able to spend the night at his apartment but...2 times seems weird. OP, in your perfect relationship world, how many times a week would you be hanging out with your beau?
Ruby Slippers Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 He rarely asks me to hang out, I always have to be the one to initiate it too...sometimes I feel like if I didnt text him, I wouldnt hear from him for days!! Why don't you try not contacting him and see what happens? If you don't hear from him, you know he's not missing you that much. Twice a week wouldn't be enough for me at that point, and I certainly wouldn't be the only one doing the inviting.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I vote that seeing him two times in the average week is very well within the vast range of normalcy after three months of dating. It could evolve either way from there.
Chicago_Guy Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I've been dating a guy for 3 months now, and we only hang out 2 times a week...I am able to spend the night at his apartment but...2 times seems weird. I know I typically date VERY clingy guys - every relationship I've had we've been living together after 3 months....but it this too far on the other end of the spectrum? He rarely asks me to hang out, I always have to be the one to initiate it too...sometimes I feel like if I didnt text him, I wouldnt hear from him for days!! What is normal here? I don't think that seeing someone two times a week is out of the ordinary, especially if one, or both of you, have established careers and work a lot. However, I do think that living together with different guys after having dated them for only three months is abnormal. I have never heard of anyone doing that multiple times. 1
Star Gazer Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I don't think that seeing someone two times a week is out of the ordinary, especially if one, or both of you, have established careers and work a lot. However, I do think that living together with different guys after having dated them for only three months is abnormal. I have never heard of anyone doing that multiple times. Totally agree. I also think expecting to live with nearly every guy you date after just 3 months is really troublesome and unrealistic.
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