My realtionship is falling apart...My decision will break the ice!Help me!

[KaYlA368]

Hi!

 

This is the first time i have ever posted anything on this site!...Im extremly confused and i need some advice!.....

 

Well im having a HUGE problem with my boyfriend of 2 years...It seems like the past two years has been perfect weve had our ups and downs but, its been great!

 

. ..but lately me and him have been drifting apart...I have moved recently b/c of a schooling opportunity...SO we havent been able to spend as much time together...This whole weekend I havent seen him at all b/c ive been sick and when i called him last night for our routine talk... he sounded different! He said he was tired of dealing with not seeing me! and that he wasnt goin to deal with it any longer!... he wants me to move back with him...or we cant be together!!!...

 

I love him with ALL my heart!!!... but, going to this school is very important to me!...Last night i hung up on him... and cried myself to sleep!!!...I just cant stand the thought of not being with him!!!...My future depends on this decision! and i need help making it!

 

Thank you SO much for reading!

 

Please help me!...What should i do??

[morrigan]

You're going through a tough time right now, but don't pack your bags and move back with to boyfriend. You want to save this relationship, but sacrificing your education to appease someone isn't a good idea. Ask him right out why he needs you to move back. As much as you love him, if he loves you he should be more understanding about your goals.

 

Is there any reason he can't move closer to where you currently reside? You said you moved for education reasons, not on a whim. Instead of demanding you move back near him, maybe he should think about moving nearer to you. He should be open to some kind of compromise.

 

Long distance relationships are hard work. But when people start seeing differences in their interests and expectations, it doesn't matter if they live 8 or 800 miles from eachother. The separation might be causing some of the strain, but maybe he fears you both are looking for different things out of life. You could move back to be with him, and you two may still drift apart and break up.

[Fedup&givingup]

Here's what I think...I think he sounds like a manipulative, self serving.....I will leave it at that. You are going to school to better yourself, and he should be supportive of that. THAT'S real love, being able to sacrifice for the best interest of the other.

 

I think you should stay right where you are and focus on your education. That is something you WILL always have, people unfortunately are variables in life. I know it hurts, and think about why it hurts...because HE put an ultimatum on you.

 

Do YOU want to be a puppet on a string?

[KaYlA368]

Well...first of all thanks for taking the time to give me advice!

 

And the whole thing about him moving near me....Well, he has a steady job where he is... so that is "his" excuse not to come to me!... although my schooling is just as important as his work!....Well atleast it is to me...

 

i havent decided yet what im going to do... i dont want it to be like he is getting his way... but, this can change my life for the better or worse!... like.... we were planning to get married!.... ... but i guess if he really loves me... he can work something out!.. right!??

 

well thanks so much again!

[NEONINK]

I have three words of advice:

 

communicate, communicate, and communicate.

 

Talk about your feelings, encourage him to talk about his feelings. If you really want this relationship, you have to reassure him, your feelings have not changed for him, even though life situations change. And they always will.