mach3 Posted March 15, 2004 Posted March 15, 2004 It's been a few weeks, two of it a kind of limbo. We had a long talk last week. A nice couple of days and an ugly weekend. I think for my own sake, I need to stop contact. Feel like I'm being kept around "just in case". Now my question is - how do you do it? I let so few people in, how can you just cut someone out who has been a daily part of your life for 2 years? Stop phone calls, emails, etc? I know it needs to be done - but damn, sounds hard. And what to do on that inevitable day when I get the call...
Ganderson Posted March 15, 2004 Posted March 15, 2004 You need to wait for a few hours before you can reply the call. Try not to be too excited about the call, otherwise you will only feed her ego. Check out my post "No contact works"
Author mach3 Posted March 15, 2004 Author Posted March 15, 2004 I should add that I'm not trying to play a game here, or struggle over power. Just want to get over this and move one as painlessly as possible. I know it will take time - not much else works...
Ganderson Posted March 15, 2004 Posted March 15, 2004 I am in the same situation and I know our relationship is not gonna work out in the long run. I would Just hang out with friends and date new people at the mean time. When you receive a call from your ex, just be normal and don't ever be the one that initiate the call. you will get over it very soon
tenderhearted Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 Just want to get over this and move one as painlessly as possible. Well if you really mean what you are saying, then having NO CONTACT means just that. Even if she continues to email, call, IM, etc then you do what's necessary. Block those emails, take her off your buddy list, screen your phone calls. I'm going through it now as I speak so this is coming from someone who knows. I felt like I was being kept around "just in case" and I don't want to be anyone's backup girl and NO CONTACT has helped alot! Even when he calls it's hard not answering his call but I know that he isn't calling to be back together again and having contact is only helping him and confusing me. Being friends and remaining in constant contact with someone you love and want to be with but who doesn't want to be with you is the HARDEST and most painful IMO. During this time, I've been able to put our situation in perspective. I've accepted our breakup and I'm trying to move on with my life. It's not hard if you get it in your mind that you really want to get over her and get on with your life. You can be friends again after you're healed and have moved on with your life.
overseas2004 Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 Yeah I jut had to go through it too. It was like hell to the tenth degree. You just have to be really firm and bite down hard and say I am not going to do it. I am not going to answer the phone or call or answer e-mails. Usually this puts the other person in a panic and then they start calling and trying to see you. And then it gets even harder on you for a while to bounce of the calls. But look if they decide you are the one and they want to be with you. Nothing will stop them and they will eventually end up at your door ready to talk. This happened to me in a previous relationship. Its just that I was over it by the time this happened and really wanted no contact. So don't be afraid that you are going to miss out on something by placing the No Contact rule into effect. And yes it is painful but less painless than the alternative. And plus you get a little plus back in your ego when you ignore them. And of course you know it hurts them a little to. So although it is a little revenge... it feels good.
Author mach3 Posted March 16, 2004 Author Posted March 16, 2004 Thanks tender - as hard as it is to admit, I think I'm being kept around just in case too. Or being put on hold for a while... That stings. Will never understand it, but I guess that's not part of the deal.
Hendrix Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 yea im jus gettin over a 2 and a half year relationship now (for the second time) (read "hard breakup" post) and i know what's goin on, And i find the worst part is that, once u were goin out everythin was fine but The part that worries me is that It sucks being alone and you wont find anyone else as good... i find that as the sucky part, Waiting to meet someone else...
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