jen_r Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Lately, I hate my life. My mind is like a friggin jail cell. I repeat situations both good and bad over and over in my head till I'm just exhausted. He's out partying and being a drunk douchebag while I'm home losing my mind and wishing he would just answer me. Our latest situation has made me feel absolutely disgusted and I don't know what I did to deserve it. He used me. He told me to support him during a rough time with his family (whom I hate), and I did. I stuck by him. He led me to believe we were going to be together. After we had sex, he started giving me one word answers. Then I brought up "us", he got really irritated and got angry with me for no reason what so ever & started ignoring me and said "It's over for f**king real, I'm done with you!" Umm...ok? So, I havent talked to him since, despite my attempts. I just feel worthless. I bought the book "It's a breakUP, not a breakDOWN!" but, its too quirky for me and isn't really helping me feel any better. I feel a nervous breakdown coming on soon and that in itself makes me feel like a loser. This person should not have this much control over me.
restart Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 A little sketchy on your relationship with this guy, how long its been etc (not sure if you had another post)? Forget the hating yourself part, too much bad energy. Move from emotional, whenever you start spinning, to physical (exercise etcand I mean hard at it, the exhaustion will relieve your body and mind for awhile each day) & mental things (hobbies,work,cook,clean...all aggressively etc) for relief. And love yourself. He doesnt win, things just change, and strengthen yourself from it now, he's NOT the only guy in the world.
Author jen_r Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 A little sketchy on your relationship with this guy, how long its been etc (not sure if you had another post)? Forget the hating yourself part, too much bad energy. Move from emotional, whenever you start spinning, to physical (exercise etcand I mean hard at it, the exhaustion will relieve your body and mind for awhile each day) & mental things (hobbies,work,cook,clean...all aggressively etc) for relief. And love yourself. He doesnt win, things just change, and strengthen yourself from it now, he's NOT the only guy in the world. yeah, I didn't relive all the details cause I feel like people here have heard too much of it already. We've been together over 2 years, huge HUGE drama with his family, he's been treating me like crap for the past year and I have been trying SO hard to fix things and make things work, but he keeps throwing it in my face. I am stupid, I know this. He's the first person I've ever loved and I feel like I put so much of myself into this person and trusted him whole-heartedly...and I just can't believe this is what I get in the end. It's all too much to grasp and handle.
IfiKnewThen Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 ok...all i can say is first know this and tell yourself this over and over. fill your head with these thoughts 1) you are human. all human people give into temptation at some time about something. you gave into love 2) its not the best thing to be there for him sexually when hes not making you his priority but rather his option....BUT...you were being compassionate and if you didnt do this , and he still ended it ..likely would think..why didnt i do this..or why didnt i do that.... so........... go easy on yourself. you tried to be a good person inside. nothing more. 3) we all are vulnerable when we are vulnerable. he wants distance and apparently not be in this relationship...but he still has his testosterone urges and gave into his temptation and his own vulnerability. he is wrong to do that clearly...because he had to have known how much you care....but what is done is done. i know its upsetting....but see it as you had that moment of closeness and you wont be so quick or willing again. you have to talk and both KNOW clearly what the other wants. both have to respect that and work within what remains to ever get back to a place where you can reconcil in peace. ok also you say you wish he would just answer you. please dont text him and such. i know you want to but TRY to keep your distance for now. dont call. i know you want to FIX it ASAP. us females especially want to fix things right away. its in our nature. you WILL somehow get the chance to talk to him again...but lay low for now and give it a few weeks and try again. not to talk about "going back with each other", but to talk about but to talk about consideration human dignity and mutual respect. calmly say you dont appreciate being mislead and it wont happen again. but you have to be strong too. going to provide some reading for you. (this is good at ANY age and easy reading) 1st) men are from mars woman are from venus-by john gray read this to find out how different men and woman really ARE and think. so that you can understand them and yourself better and how to interact sucessfully. 2) how to survive the loss of a love. http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm you can read it FREE online now. starting with clicking on the link to "understanding loss" read this to survive a break up. its simple but awesome. read again and again. 3) http://lovesagame.com/ a link to various information from break ups to how to attrack a guy etc...or what attracts them anyway i dont know how old you are...but we do can make these mistakes at any age. pray to God to keep you calm. and hang in there. God bless
IfiKnewThen Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 ok...all i can say is first know this and tell yourself this over and over. fill your head with these thoughts 1) you are human. all human people give into temptation at some time about something. you gave into love 2) its not the best thing to be there for him sexually when hes not making you his priority but rather his option....BUT...you were being compassionate and if you didnt do this , and he still ended it ..likely would think..why didnt i do this..or why didnt i do that.... so........... go easy on yourself. you tried to be a good person inside. nothing more. 3) we all are vulnerable when we are vulnerable. he wants distance and apparently not be in this relationship...but he still has his testosterone urges and gave into his temptation and his own vulnerability. he is wrong to do that clearly...because he had to have known how much you care....but what is done is done. i know its upsetting....but see it as you had that moment of closeness and you wont be so quick or willing again. you have to talk and both KNOW clearly what the other wants. both have to respect that and work within what remains to ever get back to a place where you can reconcil in peace. ok also you say you wish he would just answer you. please dont text him and such. i know you want to but TRY to keep your distance for now. dont call. i know you want to FIX it ASAP. us females especially want to fix things right away. its in our nature. you WILL somehow get the chance to talk to him again...but lay low for now and give it a few weeks and try again. not to talk about "going back with each other", but to talk about but to talk about consideration human dignity and mutual respect. calmly say you dont appreciate being mislead and it wont happen again. but you have to be strong too. going to provide some reading for you. (this is good at ANY age and easy reading) 1st) men are from mars woman are from venus-by john gray read this to find out how different men and woman really ARE and think. so that you can understand them and yourself better and how to interact successfully. 2) how to survive the loss of a love. http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm you can read it FREE online now. starting with clicking on the link to "understanding loss" read this to survive a break up. its simple but awesome. read again and again. 3) http://lovesagame.com/ a link to various information from break ups to how to attrack a guy etc...or what attracts them anyway i dont know how old you are...but we do can make these mistakes at any age. pray to God to keep you calm. and hang in there. God bless
alwayshoping Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 We don't mind hearing your story, so don't feel just because it's been heard before, that no one will want to hear it. We all do, and we are all here to help you. Just believe in yourself. You know you are an amazing lovely person who deserves so much better. So if you want to post your full story, we are all here to read it and people will all chip in with advice to tell you how amazing you are and how your ex doesn't deserve to even be in your presence. Hope this helps x
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