Ex sent message for bday, saw importance of NC..

[Movingthrough]

Hey guys,

 

Well its really no big deal but my ex sent me a happy birthday message a few days ago on my bday.

 

I have been NC for weeks and immediately deleted the message so her number would be gone, which I don't have memorized. I can honestly say it felt good to finally be in "control".

 

But I also really saw the importance of NC because about 10 mind after I found myself thinking about the whole thing. Like I should be an adult and respond with a thank you or even the fact that if I don't answer I will hear back from her.

 

I also found myself almost judging her like why did you even send one? She sent it at like midnight which means it's wasn't even technically my bday. Its stupid but all this stuff I was thinking.

 

It showed me that's what NC is about, you have to be good to go on your end because ANY contact is going to bring stuff up. I have no way of contacting her and to be honest I wont but I can admit I feel kind of like a child just ignoring her when she took the time to do it. I really don't mean that as some way to talk to her because I can honestly say I do not want too, I'm sick of feeling like ****. But like I said, I have a feeling it wont end there.

 

Anyone else deal with this?

[SimonSerenade]

Yeah I've been there buddy, You did the right thing, Who know's what it would of lead to had you replied, My birthday was in september when I was missing her and trying to get her back and I replied with all sorts and just made thing's worse, I went no contact about 2 months ago and since then she's contacted me twice by email asking how I'm doing and thanking me for a necklace I bought her along with a letter I wrote her before going No contact, The letter gave me closure and was just a nice goodbye I felt, Her mum contacted me on Skype asking if I had received the email's, I've ignored every attempt as her contacting me just made me feel worse than I was already feeling when she hadn't contacted me, Made me see myself back then as some sort of tramp asking for change when I was contacting her asking her this that and all the other cause that's how she looked to me and she only contacted twice lol.

 

Now out of nowhere she's gotten me 3 Christmas presents which is weird cause she didn't even get me a card for my birthday let alone a present, I've been so tempted to ask why but until I'm over her I'm better off not knowing, I too feel like a child ignoring her but if contacting them makes us feel worse and means the no contact was for nothing then fair enough I'm a kid! lol

 

Best way to be, We only have control if we allow ourselves too so best off just not contacting them what so ever!

[seaworld]

to both of you guys. If the reason for NC was to get over her and move on, then I would ignore it. But if there is something in your heart that wishes reconciliation, I would at least reply with a "thank you, hope you are doing well", a message that does not require a reply.

[NeNinja]

It sounds like somebody wants somebody back.

 

It's just a shame to waste so much hard work and risk starting over. That's a pessimistic, cynical way to look at it. In the end only you know how you feel and how the relationship was/could be.

[Movingthrough]

I can honestly say I wish she didnt contact me at all. I have said nothing to her for weeks, but since she sent me that message I have had it back on my mind a little bit.

 

I had a friend up at my house who knows her and she was asking my friend where she was and stuff like that (because she knew she was with me). At one point i looked over while my friend was on FBook and had to see my ex's main picture with her new guy, so yeah that didnt help. Like I said I have really seen the importance of NC, it stinks that we actually do have to forget about them but thats what it comes down to. Something simple as a happy bday has brought things back up when I was doing good.