Mik12 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 So I really really thought I was over it. I mean of course something was still there and her occasional contacts affected me but I thought I was past the point of wanting her back. It has now been 14 months since we broke up and I've been wanting her back for the past 3 days for some reason. It might be a holiday thing but she's just been on my mind 24/7 over these few days. At this point I really don't know what to do. The situation as it stands is kinda weird, I mean I haven't initiated contact in something like 4 months but I'll get a text from her ever 6-10 days. Sometimes it's some random thing that happened to her but other times it's stuff that just makes me wonder wtf she's thinking. The last particular message she sent me was simply : 94,7... which is a radio station around here. So i tuned my radio to that station and one of our songs was playing. I didnt answer but it really got me thinking. So basically i'm trying to decide between 3 ways to handle what i'm feeling at the moment. 1. I'm just gonna soldier through the holidays and hope that's what's been making me feel nostalgic 2. Write her an e-mail or meet up and tell her how I'm feeling. 3. Ask her out and just casually try to have a good time then take it from there At this point I have no idea what she's feeling or thinking, she's kinda emotionally retarded lol, I mean some of the things she texts me kinda point towards her having underlying feelings but at the same time I've seen her brush off things like this as "friendly contact" so you never know... basically I just wanted to get an opinion. I know most of you are going to tell me to go for option 1 but i'm hoping to get a little more feedback. Thanks in advance
january2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 She's thinking about you, but there's not a lot to suggest that she definitely wants to get back together. I also suspect that because you didn't go completely NC, she's always been at the forefront of your thoughts and thus you haven't really had a chance to heal from the breakup. You could wait until after the holidays before suggesting a meet up to gauge whether or not the season has any major input into your current emotions. However, it's worth bearing in mind that if the reasons behind your breakup remain unresolved and you're both not committed to working on them, it's unlikely that a second chance will be successful. To sum up, I suggest 1, then 2 if you're still feeling the same way after the holidays, then 3 if she also wants to make a go of it.
Don_da_Ho Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Go with #1, you already know the answer. Why take the risk before the holidays? Ok, maybe she's thinking about you, but she's not making a committed move. That's what SHE needs to do. Otherwise, I think you're just spinning your wheels.
Author Mik12 Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 Go with #1, you already know the answer. Why take the risk before the holidays? Ok, maybe she's thinking about you, but she's not making a committed move. That's what SHE needs to do. Otherwise, I think you're just spinning your wheels. I know what you mean but to be honest I really think If anything were to happen between us It would have to be initiated by me, I just think she's capable of avoiding having to think about it instead of actually facing the possibility of still having feelings..... does that make sense at all? I mean is it possible that in some cases you just have to be the one to get the gears in motion?
nice-easy-day Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 The holidays are difficult. Go with #1 and if you still feel the same afterwards then go ahead and revisit the thought. I'm curious though, do you want to get back together with this girl? You never really said. If you honestly do then I think it's the time to take action... but still, wait till after the holidays.
i made a mess Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I know what you mean but to be honest I really think If anything were to happen between us It would have to be initiated by me, I just think she's capable of avoiding having to think about it instead of actually facing the possibility of still having feelings..... does that make sense at all? I mean is it possible that in some cases you just have to be the one to get the gears in motion? I agree with option 1 and if you still can't shake it, then proceed with caution. However, I understand what you are saying, because I have been THAT girl. It sounds childish or immature, but I'd send a text that really had no significant relevance or any depth to it, hoping that my ex would be the one to realize what I was trying to do. Sometimes, we're just scared, so we dip our toe in the water to guage where we stand rather than just throwing it all out there and making a complete fool of ourselves.
Don_da_Ho Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Or it could be she just wants to keep you on the back burner "just in case". Regardless, wait until after the holidays if you're going to make a move.
Author Mik12 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 The holidays are difficult. Go with #1 and if you still feel the same afterwards then go ahead and revisit the thought. I'm curious though, do you want to get back together with this girl? You never really said. If you honestly do then I think it's the time to take action... but still, wait till after the holidays. I dont really know to be honest, I mean of course I miss her but i'm wondering if it's not love that I miss, I mean it's so hard for me to connect on an emotional level. I have dated quite a bit in the past year but haven't been close to being in a relationship. So for the moment I think I do want to get back together her but I'm not sure it's for the right reasons....
Author Mik12 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Or it could be she just wants to keep you on the back burner "just in case". Regardless, wait until after the holidays if you're going to make a move. It seems that there's a consensus about waiting after the holidays but why is that ? Isn'T there a chance that she might be feeling nostalgic about our past Christmases together as well?
Fern Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 It seems that there's a consensus about waiting after the holidays but why is that ? Isn'T there a chance that she might be feeling nostalgic about our past Christmases together as well? There's every chance she's feeling nostalgic - just like you, but how can you be sure that isn't ALL IT IS on both your parts? Wouldn't you rather reconnect when all that nostalgia has died down so you're sure it's more than loneliness over the holidays bringing you back together?
Don_da_Ho Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 X 2. Plus you could be setting yourself up for big disappointment before christmas.
Author Mik12 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 Well its christmas now and i havent heard from her at all which suprises me, considering she's always looking for excuses to contact me. So anyway ive actually been feeling off ever since she texted me telling me to tune the radio to our song... Anyway i was wondering if i shoud go ahead and wish her merry christmas or just let it be?
Recommended Posts