ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I wasn't trying to reflect on this idea of healing, necessarily; in fact, I just turned down a good buddy's offer to attend another Christmas party tonight so I could wrap up my Saturday evening with a drink in one hand, a bit of Japanese food in the other, while watching a House M.D. marathon - then something hit me like a ton of bricks. I suddenly knew, clear as crystal, the exact point that one's ex(es) (wives and/or girl friends) become truly irrelevant - indicating that healing (in my opinion) is 100% complete. here's what popped up: you're done healing, & perhaps ready for another LTR (or not; your choice) when... ...the day-to-day experiences of being by yourself are more awesome than the vast majority of the past memories of being with your ex(es). & I'm talking deplorable by comparison. when you've done "you", the right way, & long enough to reach the point where trading tomorrow for yesterday is a laughable no-brainer (i.e. explored new interests, expanded on old ones, met new people, made new friends, expanded old friendships, taken steps to tangibly advance your career, and perhaps dated around along the way), you've moved on. ...oh yeah, if you're a BS, age 35 or younger (especially if you're a guy), with no kids, BAIL on the idea of recon. present me wouldn't exist but for not having the God given opportunity to NOT have a shot at reconciliation. I thank my lucky stars. just thought I'd share. now back to my marathon.
bentnotbroken Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 For me it came to the point where I could look at the past without seeing a total waste. The things that I went through, the things that almost cost me my children and my life...were needed to get me to this point. It wasn't right what happened, but it got me to this point. And looking at my children..my heart is full(I wouldn't have them without the Mess that is their father:p), I am comfortable in my skin, and I like who I am. I mean really like...something that I don't remember ever having felt before the healing was complete. Though I know there will be some slippage down memory lane...there is no desire to every live on at that address again.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 For me it came to the point where I could look at the past without seeing a total waste. The things that I went through, the things that almost cost me my children and my life...were needed to get me to this point. It wasn't right what happened, but it got me to this point. And looking at my children..my heart is full(I wouldn't have them without the Mess that is their father:p), I am comfortable in my skin, and I like who I am. I mean really like...something that I don't remember ever having felt before the healing was complete. Though I know there will be some slippage down memory lane...there is no desire to every live on at that address again. well put. I'll raise my glass to that.
2themoon&back Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I wasn't trying to reflect on this idea of healing, necessarily; in fact, I just turned down a good buddy's offer to attend another Christmas party tonight so I could wrap up my Saturday evening with a drink in one hand, a bit of Japanese food in the other, while watching a House M.D. marathon - then something hit me like a ton of bricks. I suddenly knew, clear as crystal, the exact point that one's ex(es) (wives and/or girl friends) become truly irrelevant - indicating that healing (in my opinion) is 100% complete. here's what popped up: you're done healing, & perhaps ready for another LTR (or not; your choice) when... ...the day-to-day experiences of being by yourself are more awesome than the vast majority of the past memories of being with your ex(es). & I'm talking deplorable by comparison. when you've done "you", the right way, & long enough to reach the point where trading tomorrow for yesterday is a laughable no-brainer (i.e. explored new interests, expanded on old ones, met new people, made new friends, expanded old friendships, taken steps to tangibly advance your career, and perhaps dated around along the way), you've moved on. ...oh yeah, if you're a BS, age 35 or younger (especially if you're a guy), with no kids, BAIL on the idea of recon. present me wouldn't exist but for not having the God given opportunity to NOT have a shot at reconciliation. I thank my lucky stars. just thought I'd share. now back to my marathon. I really like this, I believe this could work across the board for all those that trying to heal … thanks for posting it.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 I really like this, I believe this could work across the board for all those that trying to heal … thanks for posting it. glad there was something to gain. this parictular revelation took roughly 9 months in the trenches to uncover. funny cause I wasn't necessarily looking for it. life's subtle nuances are worth their weight in gold.
jthorne Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Hey you! I pleases me no end to know that you are in a better place! I knew you would be. In fact, I knew that you would most likely come out of your situation better than you went in... Would you agree? I'm not glad at all that you had to go through it, but I am glad that you rose above it, and learned things about yourself in the process, capice?
Distant78 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Hey you! I pleases me no end to know that you are in a better place! I knew you would be. In fact, I knew that you would most likely come out of your situation better than you went in... Would you agree? I'm not glad at all that you had to go through it, but I am glad that you rose above it, and learned things about yourself in the process, capice? Oh yea. Agreed. Conflicted I read your story and I gotta say you handled it well, and came out stronger just like any other BS! This is what I'm talkin about.:laugh:
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Hey you! I pleases me no end to know that you are in a better place! I knew you would be. In fact, I knew that you would most likely come out of your situation better than you went in... Would you agree? I'm not glad at all that you had to go through it, but I am glad that you rose above it, and learned things about yourself in the process, capice? Capice, JT! you've always been sharp though, so it's no wonder you were right.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Oh yea. Agreed. Conflicted I read your story and I gotta say you handled it well, and came out stronger just like any other BS! This is what I'm talkin about.:laugh: meh, I handled it as well as I could have. hindsight being 20/20, I was pretty damn nice -- like doormat nice, lol. ah well, at least it wasn't terminal, right? i'm a nearly recovered nice guy. ;p
2long Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 CG: Been meaning 2 chime in here, but got busy before Xmas. Anyway, I think you did very well by staying on the high ground. best, -ol' 2long
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