sirweasles Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Im goin home for christmas I'm sad and getting sicker by the day. I am so scared of what is going to happen between me and my wife. I cant get my self excited to see my kids. I want to be with my wife so badly and I know that its not goin to happen. What if I make a mistake and she decides to call it off for good or what if she is just waiting to call it off face to face. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. what if my wife just avoids me the whole time im there and treats me like i dont exist. how do I get myself excited to go home?
january2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Focus on your kids. Your job is to make sure that they have a great Christmas. Everything else should be secondary, for now.
Author sirweasles Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 I cant stop thinking about my wife Its goin to be really hard not bein able to go home.
robf1971 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Im goin home for christmas I'm sad and getting sicker by the day. I am so scared of what is going to happen between me and my wife. I cant get my self excited to see my kids. I want to be with my wife so badly and I know that its not goin to happen. What if I make a mistake and she decides to call it off for good or what if she is just waiting to call it off face to face. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. what if my wife just avoids me the whole time im there and treats me like i dont exist. how do I get myself excited to go home? Ok, you need to get your bollocks back. Scared is not attractive to your wife or any woman. You need to put on an act. Take your eyes off winning your wife back as a goal. Make a small goal eg "I'm gonna give my kids a fantastic christmas" Whatever your wife says, listen to her and Validate her, note validation does not mean to agree. eg Wife Sirweasles, you've been a terrible husband you: I understand how you could feel that way in fact Google emotional validation. What you are doing is empathising and taking away the ammunition for an argument. Be friendly to your wife, do not pursue her, don't do any , I mean any begging or pleading, you are confident happy and upbeat. Remember even if she files for divorce it's not the end, you have time to turn this around. Fake it until you make it, your 180 is to become the happy, confident person you were when she met you.
Author sirweasles Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 unfortunatly I have just been diagnosed with PTSD and have been struggleing very hard to breath lately and stay alive but I am sure I will see little enough of my wife that I can put on a show kinda worried about my kids seeing me this way. I have asked my wife for a chance to go out and talk should I persue that if she resists.
robf1971 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I have asked my wife for a chance to go out and talk should I persue that if she resists. Nope don't initiate any talks about the relationship, don't pursue, no f'ing way. If she starts a chat, remember Validation. If she asks you a big question eg When do you want to start the Divorce process? Your reply "I'll need a few days to think on it"
Author sirweasles Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 ok thanks I will keep that in mind and hope for the best. I just want her to tell me to come home lol I hate this sh*t.
robf1971 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Ok, I've been there, and recently I know it really sucks. Understand the goal is not for her to tell you to come home. You got to this point over a number of years it may take that long to get her back.. This is another issue why did you leave the home? she wants out of the marriage, she should go!!
Author sirweasles Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 I took a job 7 hundred miles away with the assurance that at the end of the school year she would be moving out to meet me I went through a really bad battle with PTSD and caused problems I am now getting treated for the PTSD and am coming home for christmas. so I now have to stay at my parents house 30 miles away to see my kids and to hopfully make her see that I am getting better. I have given up on ever getting her to understand the effects of PTSD which I believe would make this a whole thing lot easier especially knowing that i am getting full treatment and working very hard to bring it under control.
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