jennifer4 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I just met a guy last wknd. We haven't been on a date and have talked maybe 3 days this past wk. For a few hrs at a time. Tonight he asked me to go to dinner and hear a band play with his friends. Are group dates common? I'm 38 and he's 31. I would prefer to go on at least one or two dates before hanging out with his friends. Am I odd? BTW I told him earlier in our conversation that I'm getting sick so after I politely declined he said " oh I'm sorry, that's right you told me you're getting sick".
soulm8 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Sounds to me like he wants his friends to see his cougar... I'm with you, so I guess that makes both of us odd. However, I'm unable to get past the age thing... "he" has to be my age or a few years older.
Str8noChaser Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I just met a guy last wknd. We haven't been on a date and have talked maybe 3 days this past wk. For a few hrs at a time. Tonight he asked me to go to dinner and hear a band play with his friends. Are group dates common? I'm 38 and he's 31. I would prefer to go on at least one or two dates before hanging out with his friends. Am I odd? BTW I told him earlier in our conversation that I'm getting sick so after I politely declined he said " oh I'm sorry, that's right you told me you're getting sick". I don't think you as odd nor do I see it so much as a group date as a guy you've known for a week asking you to hang out to hear some music that he may have already scheduled to do with his friends before knowing you. If this happens the next time you make plans, which ideally should be a few days in advance not the night of, see what he schedules.
whattothink Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I agree with it being a little strange. I, too, would prefer getting to know someone better before meeting friends. I would feel like I'd need to be over the "jitters" with the person whose friends I'm meeting! Agreed with suggesting more private dates.
Author jennifer4 Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 Thanks! I'm hoping he asks me out for a date alone,I guess I could suggest it. I'd rather not have to though.
yoyoyiggityyo Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Doesn't sound so weird...he's young and may not have been thinking about it. He might have just wanted you to come along...see what happens next time. If he asks for a group date...just come out and tell him that you'd prefer to meet HIM first...then his friends Good Luck
oaks Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Thanks! I'm hoping he asks me out for a date alone,I guess I could suggest it. I'd rather not have to though. He isn't telepathic, so don't hold it against him if he doesn't work this out without your help.
Str8noChaser Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Thanks! I'm hoping he asks me out for a date alone,I guess I could suggest it. I'd rather not have to though. Are you kidding? You are 38 why are you still starting your relationships on "hope" and mindreading? You are (or should be by now) a grown d@mn woman. TELL him what you want.
DuskCrush Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I think it's nice that he asked you out with friends! You should be happy--it's an opportunity to get to know him better without all the pressure. Just go and get to know him better...relax.enjoy.stop over-thinking it. Tell him you feel better and go.
zengirl Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 I'm younger than you (I'm mid-twenties, boyfriend is early thirties), but I don't find group dates odd. In fact, meeting each other's friends was a natural step for myself and my fella -- not that it was said explicitly that it was a step or anything, but I know we both wanted to see how each other would do in that dynamic. The last minute thing would bother me.
Author jennifer4 Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 Well maybe it's an individual difference. The last minute was certainly not expected. I have 4 children so need some notice. I agree with the meeting of friends but I just prefer that happen after some dates alone. I don't see myself as a cougar, he's only 7 yrs younger but maybe that's what he's thinking. I'll be updating. Thanks again.
Recommended Posts