LoveBug1989 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 (edited) Since my 1 yr LDR boyfriend called me on Tues. and said he wanted to break off our relationship due to not having enough money, stress and the distance of our LDR, I dont' understand how to handle my intense emotions right now. During this time I've been thinking about everything he said, and I am beginning to see it from his POV.....he wants to take me out to dinner when I visit, pay or help pay for my hotel, pay for movies, other fun things, but can't afford it and is trying to put his life together, such as wanting to go to school, or join the Marines, get his car fixed or get a new one, and make more money in his job. However....I am still very much heartbroken and I feel that my heart is either on the verge of being recovered or being completely shattered. The problem is that I don't know what is going to happen in the future with this relationship. When we spoke to each other on the phone last, he made it sound as if perhaps we could get back together sometime. Maybe when I go back to California. But then at the same time, I remember how he oddly brought up things I had said or done during Thanksgiving holiday that had made him uncomfortable, like "why are you so withdrawn around your parents?" and "why were you so frustrated that we could not sleep/have sex while staying at your parent's house?" (a frustration that I had expressed which he had found "disturbing" for reasons I don't understand). He had never brought up these things before to me, and then proceeded to tell me about his own flaws that he was aware of, and said he needed to work on them. One of them was "I need to care more". Sorry this is a bit drawn out. The point is, I feel that my heart is being pulled violently in two directions. The first is that there is still hope to get back together. I just have to wait and give him his space. The second is that he no longer feels the same about me and is using this break to fade away. I want more than anything to get back together with him. My heart is hurting so badly to go back. I am also just so confused because less than one month before he broke up with me, we had such an amazing time on Thanksgiving holiday, and I thought our relationship was growing even stronger than ever. This is why I didn't see the breakup coming. I have no idea how to cope with these tortured feelings....my brain is in a swirling whirlpool of pain and anxiety, and I don't know if I should start the "getting over it" process or the "wait and see" process. Edited December 18, 2010 by LoveBug1989
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Since speaking to you in the chatroom, hope you are feeling better and moving on with your life.
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