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Always trust your instincts


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Posted
Why are you still involving yourself mentally with this? You are right that the situation doesn't sound good for you. But who cares about gossip then?

 

At this point I am just trying to defend myself from people that are attacking me on here. I know this isn't going to work out, but I want to make sure the doubters the know the situation and understand why I felt the way I did. Sometime down the road I will meet someone else and I may need advice again, so I want to be sure that people won't be holding this situation against me in the future so I can get quality advice.

 

I will admit that I am a bit surprised that people still doubt me after all the explanation I have done. No one is really addressing the fact that she clearly lied to me. I wonder what they would have done if they had been in my shoes? Allow her to get away with a lie? I can't do that, sorry.. no matter how small it is. I had a gf a few years ago that I allowed to get away with some lies in the beginning of the relationship. The further we got along, the more I questioned the things she said to me. I messed up because I had proof that she was lying to me in the beginning, but I never did anything about it. She eventually thought I was a sucker and continued to lie to me. Never again....

Posted
At this point I am just trying to defend myself from people that are attacking me on here. I know this isn't going to work out, but I want to make sure the doubters the know the situation and understand why I felt the way I did. Sometime down the road I will meet someone else and I may need advice again, so I want to be sure that people won't be holding this situation against me in the future so I can get quality advice.

 

I will admit that I am a bit surprised that people still doubt me after all the explanation I have done. No one is really addressing the fact that she clearly lied to me. I wonder what they would have done if they had been in my shoes? Allow her to get away with a lie? I can't do that, sorry.. no matter how small it is. I had a gf a few years ago that I allowed to get away with some lies in the beginning of the relationship. The further we got along, the more I questioned the things she said to me. I messed up because I had proof that she was lying to me in the beginning, but I never did anything about it. She eventually thought I was a sucker and continued to lie to me. Never again....

 

She lied to you. Now you know. The end. Stop giving it energy, and it'll stop bothering you. That's my advice.

  • Author
Posted
She lied to you. Now you know. The end. Stop giving it energy, and it'll stop bothering you. That's my advice.

 

ok thanks. will do

Posted

OP what did she lie to you about exactly? I think that is what people here are having a hard time understanding. In any event, this is an example of why people say, to avoid putting yourself in a situation with someone you like romantically when A. They are in a relationship or B. They are just coming out of one.

 

Especially if they are coming out of one because their feelings are not going to be stable and they won't be in the right frame of mind to start completely fresh.

 

Having said that, you weren't dating each other, you didn't spend any money on her so you cant label her as a gold digger. I am sure that is just your natural reaction as a result of things not progressing in a way you had preferred, but you can't slander someone like that given the circumstances and especially in a professional work environment.

 

Like others have said, best just to move on from it and set higher standards for yourself and draw your own boundaries accordingly.

Posted
Hey restart,

 

How have you been? Did you resolve the issue?

Just curious.

Duskcrush: sorry ..I never saw your query at first. Not resolved yet at my end, just the same old (posted it - at work relationship). Happy holidays!

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