WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Was seeing this guy in the spring. Started off fine, then he'd started being unreliable, I let him initiate most contact and he was very slow with texting/asking me out. Stopped answering his texts as it seemed like it was going nowhere. I ran into him recently. We met up and went on a few dates. He asked me "Where I disappeared last time", and said he thought I didn't like him. Last time I heard from him was Wednesday morning when I left his house. I initiated contact after the previous date, he replied instantly to and I am not going to do it this time. We agreed to hang out this weekend, it's now Saturday. He seemed like he was into me last time we hung out. I just want to make sure I'm not getting this wrong. He's not interested is he? He would have initiated contact by now if he was regardless of thinking I might not be into him ( which, to be honest I don't see being the case as I made sure he knew I like him).
PatrickS Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 You never know, he could be thinking the exact same
Author WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 But c'mon??!! not one text? before we met (for the second time) he wasn't too scared to text me and call me.
Jynxx Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 So you flaked on him once before and now blame him for not chasing you? You flaked on him, you "owe" him a couple initiations of contact, even if it hurts your ego (or whatever else the reason may be you don't want to)
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Was seeing this guy in the spring. Started off fine, then he'd started being unreliable, I let him initiate most contact and he was very slow with texting/asking me out. Stopped answering his texts as it seemed like it was going nowhere. I ran into him recently. We met up and went on a few dates. He asked me "Where I disappeared last time", and said he thought I didn't like him. Last time I heard from him was Wednesday morning when I left his house. I initiated contact after the previous date, he replied instantly to and I am not going to do it this time. We agreed to hang out this weekend, it's now Saturday. He seemed like he was into me last time we hung out. You have a few holes in what you are sharing that would make sense if you filled them. Are you saying you spent the night at his house on Tuesday and haven't heard from him since?
Author WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 What happened was the previous time we hanging out he flaked out on me. HE was supposed to help me with something, the day came no call. He then invited me to a place, the day came, no call. At this stage I gave up. We went on a date on saturday, had a good time. I then initiated contact on Monday after no hearing from him, he suggested we meet up on tuesday. We hung out, I spent the night ( no sex) and haven't heard from him since. Even if his ego took a beating last time ( which I doubt, sounds like he had other women on the go- although he doesn't seem like the type) surely he'd make sure I definitely wasn't into him. PLUS I suggested we do something last time we saw each other, and in the morning he confirmed it.
Author WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Last time I'd always hear from him, but it would be like 4-5 days later.
Imajerk17 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 What happened was the previous time we hanging out he flaked out on me. HE was supposed to help me with something, the day came no call. He then invited me to a place, the day came, no call. At this stage I gave up. We went on a date on saturday, had a good time. I then initiated contact on Monday after no hearing from him, he suggested we meet up on tuesday. We hung out, I spent the night ( no sex) and haven't heard from him since. Even if his ego took a beating last time ( which I doubt, sounds like he had other women on the go- although he doesn't seem like the type) surely he'd make sure I definitely wasn't into him. PLUS I suggested we do something last time we saw each other, and in the morning he confirmed it. Your answer of what happened is in bold.
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Last time I'd always hear from him, but it would be like 4-5 days later. He's not doing anything to annoy you, you want him to pursue you in a particular way that'll make you feel wanted and he's not. He's just not into you. Move on.
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Your answer of what happened is in bold. That's my feeling too. OP, when you spent the night, was there ANY physical contact? Did you sleep in the same bed? Were you viewing it as a platonic sleepover and he wasn't?
Imajerk17 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 That's my feeling too. OP, when you spent the night, was there ANY physical contact? Did you sleep in the same bed? Were you viewing it as a platonic sleepover and he wasn't? Either he made the move and she shot him down. Or he wasn't even into her enough to make a move. Either way it's bad.
Author WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 No there was definitely a lot of kissing, we nearly had sex but stopped as I wanted to take it slow.
Author WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Definitely not a platonic sleepover, we made out, ad we talked a lot about his life, he's mom die recently and he is in recovery ( ex- drug addict), he revealed a lot of things about himself. Not saying this has anything to do with him not contacting me
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 (edited) Definitely not a platonic sleepover, we made out, ad we talked a lot about his life, he's mom die recently and he is in recovery ( ex- drug addict), he revealed a lot of things about himself. Not saying this has anything to do with him not contacting me Granted. but this No there was definitely a lot of kissing, we nearly had sex but stopped as I wanted to take it slow. probably does. For the record OP, men don't enjoy or tolerate (as you are now learning) going backwards in relationships. If you already have sex, it seems like a childish game to "go backwards" because you didn't keep things slow in the beginning on your end. So now you want to punish him (withholding sex). Maybe he's taking things emotionally slowly with you and going back to contacting you when he feels like it. See how it can work both ways? In the future, get your emotional needs met first by the guy you are interested in and START slowly. Good luck to you. Edited December 18, 2010 by Str8noChaser
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