Strange situation with ex.. what do I do?

[flow15]

My ex broke up with me back in august.. some of you may know my story, but this is what happened briefly.

 

He ended it because we argued a lot.. mainly due to my insecurities, I became mildly depressed and depended on him too much, which obviously got too much for him as we are still very young (in our early twenties). We were together for a year, and I was truely devastated when he ended it. We had broken up 2 months previously but the break up lasted a month cos he missed me and wanted us to have another chance. When we tried again it just didn't work cos we didn't sort out our issues and just jumped back into how we used to be and we started arguing again.

 

When he ended it I decided to go NC and we did for 2 months. He contacted me twice but just very briefly to see how I was. We then bumped into eachother mid november in a club, we were both drunk and he just broke down, said he missed me so much, loved me so much.. and he was crying.... etc. Saying that we had was so rare and special. But he kept saying we cant be together. Since we saw eachother we've been talking nearly every day, and have been getting along great, ( no arguments, and I haven't been acting or feeling insecure.. in these 4 months apart I have been really working on myself) however I asked him a few times to give us another try seeing as we still feel so strongly towards eachother. But he always says he cant be in a relationship as it got too much for him. He likes his freedom, etc and he felt trapped in our relationship, but can't deny that we obviously love eachother very much. However I feel that since we have discussed everything, I feel the relationship will be different.. I know the mistakes I made and won't make them again, and I will give him his space etc..

 

The thing is, I feel like we are practically back together, we talk every day like we used to and the times we have hung out it is like we r together, we kiss, have sex, act like a couple. IT is so strange, and I asked him why r we like this, and he just says it is strange but he doesnt see us working out. So why the hell are we acting like we are practically together?! I am so confused, in order to move on I will have to cut him out of my life like I did in august when he broke up with me, but I want him in my life and he wants me in his... We clearly still love eachother.

 

I dont know what to do, any advice would be much appreciated!!

Edited December 18, 2010 by flow15

[helovesmeyes]

Let me tell you something this is going to drive you crazy because he is not going to give you a second chance. He is using you because he can and although he may love you if he really loved you he would let you know it! If you want to drive yourself crazy cool, but if you want to keep your sanity, and self-worth you need to break it off completely and date other men. If you truly want a relationship you deserve that and right now he does not want it. You cannot make him do it so quit asking him. Just make yourself less available, let him know that you have a life outside of him, seriously take a break from this dude and if he loves you he will not want to risk losing you. In the meantime forget about him. You can do it.

[Don_da_Ho]

Just because you love each other doesn't mean it's going to work out. Plus, he may love you but not be "in love" with you. Sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too; he can have you there for comfort, friendship and sex and still have his freedom. Sorry, but I think you're fooling yourself. What you're doing is cool as long as you can keep your emotions out of it and you don't mind being treated a little bit like his doormat. My advice? Go NC and move on with your life. Print out my signature, put it on your refrigerator and read it five times everyday. Good luck!

[Eddie Edirol]

He's using you for sex because you are letting him.