runtim1989 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Hello all, I'm in the middle of a pretty complex situation, and I'm at a loss as to what I should do. There's a girl I've known for a few months, and for the past couple of months we've been hanging out all the time. I've been very much in love with her for a while. I would, at the drop of a hat, commit to a romantic relationship with her. I wasn't ever quite sure how she felt about me. A month or so ago, she told me she couldn't get along with her stepmom anymore and asked to move in with me for a while. I was pretty surprised, and I enthusiastically invited her to do so. I live in a very small place with room for only one bed (a mattress on the floor), and after a couple of weeks we started cuddling, then kissing and making out. We then talked, I said I'd liked her for some time, and she said she had liked me too, but not enough "yet" to commit to anything, and that she isn't over her ex yet. She said she didn't want to have sex because it would make her too attached to me. Well, a day or two later and she wanted to have sex, so we did that a few times over the next few days, and now I'm in my current situation. She says she doesn't want to have sex because she wants to "take things slow" and doesn't feel ready to have that kind of bond with me. She says she feels dramatically different about me from day to day, but that sometimes she feels "in love" with me. She's always either extremely close and affectionate or very distant and cold. She still sleeps in my bed, and some nights we hold eachother all night and others she doesn't want to be touched. She's had the "no more sex" talk with me 3 or 4 times, and always within another day or two she's pulling my pants off. This is WAAAY out of my range of experience and so complicated as to be overwhelming at times. Honestly, with how much I stress over this, I wish I could ask her to go back to her parents' while she continues to look for a place, but I feel like that would be a death sentence for any chances we'll get together. Can anyone offer any advice on this? I want badly to get to be her boyfriend, and I really don't want to screw this up. This girl is absolutely amazing. Thanks.
nice-easy-day Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 (edited) Sounds like you're being used for sex and a place to stay. That's why you get the hot and cold behavior! Sex is OK when SHE wants it for her own gratification without any attachment or commitment. She's been upfront with you on how she is still in love with her ex and doesn't want a relationship with you. Yet, she must have some sort of feelings for you like she admitted or I doubt she would ever live with you or have sex. You can either kick her out or just keep things going like they are and hope that she comes around. I think if you kick her out she'll be gone for good so make sure that's what you want. I say enjoy the friends with benefits for now, string it along and see what happens. Nothing else you can really do. Edited December 18, 2010 by nice-easy-day
phineas Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 You are now her care-taker & pocket penis all rolled into one. Lock up your valuables.
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