Koekie Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Ok. I'm feeling shattered and heartbroken and hopeful and very confused. I seem to always get myself into these strange and painful situations. I met a guy online about a year ago. We don't live in the same country and started talking. He added me on his facebook and we really hit it off. We both started having feelings for one another and also started smsing and phoning. We really felt this is it personality wise and was hoping there would be a spark when we met. About a month before we were due to meet I noticed he isn't as affectionate or interested as he used to be. It really worried me and I asked him if we should call it off. He always said no, he would love to meet me and he still feels the same. So I went to his country but visited family and friends too. Just before I was due to arrive he tells me there is a problem and his housemates don't want people staying over. So I had to book accommodation. I started feeling suspicious now, because there is a girl that is always on photos of wherever he went and I checked her on FB. Her wall is open and the things she said never directly named him, but she had made friends with all his friends and everyone was telling her to not give up on love and go after it when she finds it. We met and there was chemistry, but I felt all the time he was holding back. But he spent every free minute with me. At the end he told me he is sorry he is not very good at showing it, but he does love me. I left and noticed some more things on her wall and confronted him. He got really angry and told me I'm too jealous it's better were just friends and all that. I told him to think very well because if he breaks up with me there is no going back. He said he first wants to think it through. The same day he was attacked and injured and I could see on FB she was there to help him and nurse him. This was awful. But he kept phoning and such and I told him about a very good job where I live. He's never been here and there are no garuantees but I think he should try it. I didnt contact him and after a day he asked me if I've heard anything more of the job he wants to move here, but he unfortunately cant afford it, can I help him get here and then he repays me with interest. I agreed as I can afford to help him. I knew he was going camping with some friends for a weekend. And the Monday she was friends with everyone on FB. All his friends (I didn't meet one) She was really laying it on thick and they've nicknames for one another and hugs and kisses and this is after a weekend? I felt really bad that she is still in the picture, but just left it. The next day I opened fb and it felt as if the bottom dropped out of my world. She was now listed as in a relationship with him. I called him up and calmly asked what is going on. He told me its group pressure, which he knows is no excuse and he is very sorry, please can I give him time to sort it out, he wants to come here and be with me. I gave him a week, but one day got really fed-up with all the happy stuff she keeps posting. Stuff like "the early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese" I told him Im no longer interested and he should go jump. I'd still help him get the jobs as a friend, but I no longer want to be involved with him. I was hoping this would make him break it off with her. He went really funny, saying his life is then over, hes made a mistake he just wants to be with me and there is no point coming here if I'm not with him. I told him to just leave it as is and if it's meant to be we'll sort it out once he's here. She's with him on Sundays and I lost control and freaked out and kept smsing and calling. I know this was a huge mistake. He was still saying he misses me and loves me just after the weekend though when I asked him. He told me he's scared to leave his job and come here and I don't pitch at the airport and dissapear. I reckon he thought I'd like revenge. I told him I'm not like that and even though were just friends and might always be just friends I'd still help him, because of what we had and good deeds come back to a person. I kept on on the platonic note though. When I spoke to him again I thought I should mention that if he doesn't want to break it off with her,he doesn't have to. His reply was he doesnt know. He just wants to come for the job and my friendship maybe we can work things out, maybe he brings her up here after a while ???? This from the previous week where I told him to make sure she isn't what he wants and him replying that he knows what he wants and its me. Why would he even say that to me? I mean surely he couldve gotten here gotten settled and then did what he wanted. Why say that? I thought to make him a bit jealous and put him in my position and created a fake profile with a very handsome photo that supposedly lives near me. I flirted with this "friend" on my wall since the weekend pretending like we were hanging out last weekend in a group as friends. When he told me he's not sure if he wants to break up with her I asked if it's ok then if I date other guys. The reply "yes, if thats what you want, its up to you" So the next morning I tuned up the flirting on fb a notch. He also told me to start getting tickets and stuff ready the day before and I went to buy mine. Smsed him the reference number and got no reply. I got worried and called after a few hours, thinking if he's suddenly changed his mind, I could quickly go and maybe get a refund. Oh boy was he one annoyed man when I called. Telling me he doesnt have time to sit there all day and answer smses, he told me he's coming here already. I was surprised. Why the sudden anger. Is it because he finds me so repulsive I irritate the crap out of him or was he feeling jealous? Was it jealousy that made him tell me he's not sure about breaking up with her? Because that is just an odd thing to say to a girl who you hurt and who is still as a friend trying to help you. I do realise it is one hell of stressfull thing to leave everything you know behind and move to a country you have never been. I asked if he would like to stay on the farm next door, where there is an empty house for free or stay with me in the spare bedroom. He said he wants to stay with me. I have to add he was in a terrible job and chances of other jobs are practically non existent. But all his family and friends are there. The jobs here pay 5 times what he would ever earn down there. Now I don't know. Is he using me for the job only? But why then even tell me he's not sure if he wants to break up with her or not? Would a guy really move a country and leave all his friends just for a job? My heart is so sore. I now have myself in a great situation don't I. I know I'm doing the right thing and helping someone who is really stuck, but am I going to just end up getting my heart broken more, or once he's here with me do you guys think the chances of us getting together again are good? Everything is arranged he's resigned and coming on the 5th. There's no going back now. I haven't contacted him again after he was rude to me on the phone yesterday and till now I haven't heard anything. I feel so lost and so anxious and I know the worst thing would be to contact him
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