trippi1432 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I'm right there in the fact that this will be the first year I have had to split the holiday for our son....and it will be my second Christmas without a tree or the decorations. Yes, the holidays tend to suck, and maybe it's just me realizing how much they truly sucked before the ex left, that has me moving forward. This year my ex and the OW have all of the kids (his and hers) making Christmas presents for each other. My son drew her name and had to make her something. I asked him last night what he made her....he wrote her a letter telling her how much he appreciated her. :o Mind you, I already know that I will get the same thing I have always gotten for Christmas from my son, a smile and a hug. But in respect to what he is doing for the OW for Christmas, he was sort of put in the middle to come up with something and that was the best he could do. I can't blame him or be upset with him that I never hear what he appreciates about me, but I do know and am secure with the fact that she can never live any of the experiences that I have with my child...the first step, the first word, the cuddly naps...etc. So, yes....the holidays are hard. Personally, I feel better and further removed from where I was last year and am thankful for that. I keep hoping that each year will get better. I hope it does for all of us.
wrencn Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 i am sorry sweetie...truly...the holidays have a way of bringing up the old stuff we thought we had dealt with way back when, huh... try to have a good day tho. do u celebrate Christmas? will u be with friends or family this year? try to emerse yourself in the fun, food, convo's and laughter... i will be spending this year, alone...just me and my Girl Em's (chihuahua). my family is 4 hours away and both my Em and i have been a bit under the weather, so no traveling either... but i bought stuff to make cookies and some yummy ham and scalloped potatoes...and a list of xmas movies/dvd's to help get into the spirit of it all... if the above fails, i have my good ol' SATC (sex and the city) dvd's...which NEVER fail me...always put me in another place and a better mood..LOL i am sorry for your pain as well...it's perty sucky...for us all here on LS... Merry Christmas...try too, OK;) take care, dela:love: Thank you so much. I will be spending xmas eve, today with my Ex and our sons. I invited him over before i found out that the woman he was having an emotional affair with, that caused us to split, is now his girlfriend and they are sleeping together. I didn't expect it to hurt me like this because I don't want to be married to him. I was miserable. But I don't want him happy with her! Anyone but her! Now I can't sleep, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through today. I just wanted up to be a family one last time and now that's ruined.
tojaz Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 really tojaz...i thought u knew ME better than this? 'throwing myself into charities", yes, i would like to help, BUT not make IT my life... as for hiding my 'private' life, yes, i don't think that ALL friends and family members should know ALL my business...that is why i come to LS, as we all do...understanding with anonymity. as for harmful vices, i am not sure what that means...booze, drugs, and you know i DO NOT do ANY of those..ever, not even casually...me and my life are RAW, no nothing to numb it..any of it... as for my past R, i was not hiding from anything..i truly care for this man..it maybe a rebound R...but never the less...he is important to me..not a hiding place... i am working the best i can, daily with my life, what my xh did to me, coping with a recent break up as well...it's all very raw right now... i have to say, i am kinda surprised at your respone to ME...since u know me so well...especially how sensitive i am..u had to know i was going to take this hard :~( but, thank you...as always, i know it comes from your heart...just thought u knew me better than this...and maybe could have been a bit more diplomatic with your harsh words??? lv ya tho... talk later.. dela;) Easy Dela! My responses here are not always just to the OP but also to those who may be reading them and how they may be taking what was said. Yes, I DO KNOW YOU BETTER THEN THAT! I also know that there are many people on LS who have tried to hide behind many things, I see it all the time, both here and to be quite honest in myself at times. I was speaking more to this part right here Dela.... just recently i kinda opened up to a few close friends...they said, "OMG, we had NO idea u have gone thru so much in the past 2 years!, Y did u not tell us???" they went on to say how well i hide IT ALL...not sure if that is good either tho... ... The part about them saying how well you hide it, and you know that this isn't good either. It isn't.
Author delajoonal Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Thank you so much. I will be spending xmas eve, today with my Ex and our sons. I invited him over before i found out that the woman he was having an emotional affair with, that caused us to split, is now his girlfriend and they are sleeping together. I didn't expect it to hurt me like this because I don't want to be married to him. I was miserable. But I don't want him happy with her! Anyone but her! Now I can't sleep, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through today. I just wanted up to be a family one last time and now that's ruined. i am reading this thinking, OMG..could our stories be any more alike! my xh had an EA via fb and left me for her, the OW... but, like u, i do not want him back either....we were not happy ..NOW i can see that...after 2 years of recovery... but, still the holidays bring back THE memories of so many gone by with our X's and their families, etc... sorry, didnt' c your post sooner, usually i can catch these...but this one slipped by me, i am sorry... please keep us posted OK... we r all here to heal and help each other in one way or another... gosh, i still can't get over how much our stories r alike..i mean there R so many of us here on LS, but in 2 years, yours in the fisrt to be exacly like mine... sorry for that...truly:o
Author delajoonal Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Easy Dela! My responses here are not always just to the OP but also to those who may be reading them and how they may be taking what was said. Yes, I DO KNOW YOU BETTER THEN THAT! I also know that there are many people on LS who have tried to hide behind many things, I see it all the time, both here and to be quite honest in myself at times. I was speaking more to this part right here Dela.... ... The part about them saying how well you hide it, and you know that this isn't good either. It isn't. i know, i know, i am way TOO sensitive...as usual... sorry, i did not see this sooner, as the other posters too...how this got by me, idk, i have been on LS and read EVERY thing posted...so , i wonder what happened here??? anyway, i will message u tojaz... thnx for knowing me so well...
PWSX3 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Sorry I'm a little late, but you could always take the cookies to a local church or a homeless shelter. I helped out a shelter my first Christmas alone & it was a blast, makes you realize there are a lot of people worse off then me..... This year I went to church for the Christmas service & it just reminded me of what Christmas is really all about & that made everything better. I have noticed a lot of people stop traditions they used to do, but why not keep doing them, might need to tweak them but then when you do that they are yours. Start new ones by helping others, have a party with people you don't know. I guess what helped me is once you stop worrying about me & spend that time helping others then it doesn't seem so bad, but everyone has to find that special something to get them moving again in the right direction. delajoonal and others it does get easier, but everyone has to go at there own pace.
trippi1432 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Great ideas PW....I spent Christmas Eve with a friend from work and got to meet her entire family...it was nice to be included somewhere. I guess that is what made me start thinking that next year is going to be different. This is my second Christmas with no tree or decorations...got me to thinking what the heck am I running from? It's time with "out with the old and in with the new", I'm chucking the old tree and the old ornaments (except for the sentimental ones for the kids) and starting new next year. New tree, new decorations, new year....new me. Here's to a Happy and Better New Year.
tojaz Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 thnx for knowing me so well... Its a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. The bad times leave us all a little raw, a little defensive, and very sensitive, I understand completely! TOJAZ
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