allroundniceguy Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Was dating this girl for a month or so and things were going really well. We were seeing each other a couple of times a week on average and even though we hadn't had the exclusivity chat, I know we were focusing solely on getting to know each other and neither of us was a big fan of juggling multiple dates. Unfortunately, we both have really busy schedules due to work but her schedule had been more hectic of late by virtue of a sport which she is involved in heavily through teaching and participating at a semi-professional level. Her schedule ramped up heavily all of a sudden about a month back, and she was given some news that she might be moving interstate a few months into next year due to this sport. Even though I wasn't hounding her or anything, I know she was a little stressed with her schedule and likely started to find the catching up a couple of times per week too much. I said I was happy to work around this but she suggested that we stick with the friends thing for a little while and then reassess once she knows what is going on (which will be around February). This freaked me out originally (and I think I let it show a bit unfortunately) but now that I've had a chance to cool down, tend to think she hasn't closed the door completely but know that she needs her space and doesn't really have time to juggle a relationship at present. Thing is, the reasons she gave were all very specific given my knowledge of her and nothing came across as a complete "get out of my life" so to speak. Originally I thought I had done something to offend her but after I asked as much, she indicated that she didn't want to be unfair to me given the demands on her time. But she did say we could still catch up for a coffee every so often which is a positive I guess. As a result, we've gone into a bit of a NC phase, which I am fine with, particularly given everyone is busy with the holiday season. I gave her a call after a few weeks as had previously invited her to a show, just to see if she still wanted to come along as a friend (the gentleman in me coming out I guess), but she politely declined as she didn't think it would be right to accept. She hasn't deleted me as a FB friend (as corny as that sounds) so I guess that's another positive. I know that it is a closed door until she finds out what is happening but was wondering if it would be inappropriate to give her a call around late January and see how she is going and try and line up a coffee? But doing so without freaking her out but yet showing I'm still around and keen to keep communication open. Unless I'm totally surprised, I have a funny feeling she may not make the effort to reach out otherwise. Not going to be burning a candle for her or anything, but something tells me deep down if she doesn't have to move, there was more than enough chemistry there to make a fresh start again......
Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Was dating this girl for a month or so and .... Don't worry about a second chance, this really is still your first chance.
Author allroundniceguy Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Thanks for your thoughts. Really appreciate it. Altoro80 - I do really like her but having spoken with my female friends, they've just told me that I should leave her be (which I have been) and still see other people in the interim and probably not hold out too much hope. I guess the other thing that bugged me is that we met online (we both found it difficult meeting people with our busy schedules) and I know her profile remained active for a couple of weeks after we stopped seeing each other (which was what freaked me out). It has since been removed. I never mentioned this to her obviously.
Author allroundniceguy Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 Thanks mate. Interesting point you make. I found Xmas Day a bit tough and although tempted to send a quick Merry Xmas SMS, decided against it. Glad I did as she made no effort to do anything of the kind. Besides, am finding the NC approach is providing a lot of clarity of mind (coming up on 3 weeks) and starting to think that maintaining that approach will be the best option and she can get in touch when she knows what is happening if she wants to. I extended the olive branch with the ticket to the show so she knows where I stand. That way I'm respecting her space and not spending my time worrying about it. Have since met another girl (thru friends this time) and she actually made the effort to see how my Xmas was, so that kinda made my day and was a bit of a sign that it is time to move on with life! Having a drink with her this week which I think will be lots of fun. See how we go!
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