Do you think that I may get with this girl someday?

[nice-easy-day]

I've tried dating. I haven't connected to any of them as well as I did with her even when we first met

 

I know the feeling of thinking you'll never find another one like 'that' girl. It's never true. No single person can be everything and each woman you meet will have her own wonderful traits.

 

Do you understand that if you let her go and forget about her that YOU (by your own volition) have the choice to pick it back up anytime you want? If you let it go it's not gone forever, unless you want it to be. Letting go is simply taking control of your mind and life.

 

I'm wondering, is it possible for you to not see her ever? Or will you bump into her from time to time like at school or work?

Edited December 20, 2010 by nice-easy-day

[Kain Highwind]

I know the feeling of thinking you'll never find another one like 'that' girl. It's never true. No single person can be everything and each woman you meet will have her own wonderful traits.

 

Do you understand that if you let her go and forget about her that YOU (by your own volition) have the choice to pick it back up anytime you want? If you let it go it's not gone forever, unless you want it to be. Letting go is simply taking control of your mind and life.

 

I'm wondering, is it possible for you to not see her ever? Or will you bump into her from time to time like at school or work?

No, I see her at the college...

 

I didn't talk for her for about two months and I hated it. Why will not talking to her help my chances? If anything, I thought that being close (not even hanging out. just like talking on the phone or texting from time to time) would let her know that I'd be there for her and sicne she knows that I care about her, if they split up, she may just come to me

Edited December 20, 2010 by Kain Highwind

[Surrealist]

Okay let's try a different approach. Next time you see her tell her CLEARLY how much you really care about her and how you will always be there for her. Shed a few tears in front of her, not too much, don't make it a blubbery mess, but just let a few sweet tinkles roll down you cheeks. She will soften to your endearing words and gestures so that when she discovers that her current boyfirend isn't as caring as you, she will terminate her relationship with him and come back to you, knowing that she will feel cared for and loved with you, and most importantly, feel that sense of security that just about every woman dreams about with their guy.

 

Maybe you could buy her a gift for Christmas, something simple, like a little teddy bear, and enclose a Christmas card that expresses your adoration for her. Sowing this 'seed' wil have her thinking of you throughout the Christmas holiday period. Get a card that is very sweet like "Thinking of someone very special during this festive season". Then input your message and tell her what a beautiful, special lady she is and sign out with a few kisses and hugs, xoxoxo.

 

Make sure you let us know how you go on here hey?

 

Kind regards.

[Kain Highwind]

Okay let's try a different approach. Next time you see her tell her CLEARLY how much you really care about her and how you will always be there for her. Shed a few tears in front of her, not too much, don't make it a blubbery mess, but just let a few sweet tinkles roll down you cheeks. She will soften to your endearing words and gestures so that when she discovers that her current boyfirend isn't as caring as you, she will terminate her relationship with him and come back to you, knowing that she will feel cared for and loved with you, and most importantly, feel that sense of security that just about every woman dreams about with their guy.

 

Maybe you could buy her a gift for Christmas, something simple, like a little teddy bear, and enclose a Christmas card that expresses your adoration for her. Sowing this 'seed' wil have her thinking of you throughout the Christmas holiday period. Get a card that is very sweet like "Thinking of someone very special during this festive season". Then input your message and tell her what a beautiful, special lady she is and sign out with a few kisses and hugs, xoxoxo.

 

Make sure you let us know how you go on here hey?

 

Kind regards.

That's what I was thinking when I was asking if I should tell her but... are you being serious or just sarcastic?

 

And I already did give her something for Christmas. She said that she loves it and its perfect. She loves painting so I got her a book on how to paint landscapes (her favorite kind). She's taking a painting class now but she's not gonna take the second half next semester and that's when they'd cover landscapes. She was really happy about it (going from "oh you didn't have to do this to "OMG I LOVE IT") and I did give her a card (basically said I saw it and I know how much she likes painting and that it made me think of her and that I tried to find what I thought she'd like best, blah blah blah)

[Surrealist]

That's what I was thinking when I was asking if I should tell her but... are you being serious or just sarcastic?

 

And I already did give her something for Christmas. She said that she loves it and its perfect. She loves painting so I got her a book on how to paint landscapes (her favorite kind). She's taking a painting class now but she's not gonna take the second half next semester and that's when they'd cover landscapes. She was really happy about it (going from "oh you didn't have to do this to "OMG I LOVE IT") and I did give her a card (basically said I saw it and I know how much she likes painting and that it made me think of her and that I tried to find what I thought she'd like best, blah blah blah)

 

Okay well you're half way there. You've sown the 'seed' as I mentioned, now you have to follow up on that. Don't rush it. Wait until after new year and then when you get to see her, without her boyfriend around of course, just ask her initially how she is going. Hopefully if she has any 'issues' she will feel enough trust in you to divulge and this is when you seize the opportunity to tell her that you still really care for her and so on. If she responds to your question that things are going great and she appears happy, don't go there with the caring touchy stuff as she will be much less receptive to it. You have to wait until such time when she is feeling down or havnig problems with her relationship, or better still, not in a relationship, but can't count on that. Problems will surface soon enough and provided she still feels that trust with you, she will almost certainly confide in you, and this is when you can relay to her your ongoing love and adorations. They key is ensuring appropriate timing and good delivery.

[Kain Highwind]

Okay well you're half way there. You've sown the 'seed' as I mentioned, now you have to follow up on that. Don't rush it. Wait until after new year and then when you get to see her, without her boyfriend around of course, just ask her initially how she is going. Hopefully if she has any 'issues' she will feel enough trust in you to divulge and this is when you seize the opportunity to tell her that you still really care for her and so on. If she responds to your question that things are going great and she appears happy, don't go there with the caring touchy stuff as she will be much less receptive to it. You have to wait until such time when she is feeling down or havnig problems with her relationship, or better still, not in a relationship, but can't count on that. Problems will surface soon enough and provided she still feels that trust with you, she will almost certainly confide in you, and this is when you can relay to her your ongoing love and adorations. They key is ensuring appropriate timing and good delivery.

actually I don't know if I'll see her again

 

Classes are over now andd we had classes right next to each other this semester but idk what classes she's taking next

[nice-easy-day]

Knowing Surrealist, I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic. It's called a last ditch effort; throwing all your chips in. It never works dude. So what is the benefit of doing this? It's so you get your heart crushed by rejection and finally move on. If that's what you need then by all means go for it with everything you got. I've done similar things and guess what, it never works.

 

We are trying to tell you in here what the best thing to do is but you won't listen. The best chance you have with getting this girl back is to launch her and move on. I truly hope someday you get her back. I'm all about redemption and would think it's awesome if it works out for you. But, you're going about it the wrong way by buying her christmas gifts and crap like that. You're on the road to epic failure.

 

Only when you don't want her anymore is she going to come back. Which means it has to be real... not fake. Do you really think you can fool a girl when she looks into your eyes? Girls always know when you're interested.

 

Life sucks, move on, let her go. Maybe she'll come back but when that happens I doubt you'll want her because you'll have a better girl in your life.

[Kain Highwind]

Knowing Surrealist, I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic. It's called a last ditch effort; throwing all your chips in. It never works dude. So what is the benefit of doing this? It's so you get your heart crushed by rejection and finally move on. If that's what you need then by all means go for it with everything you got. I've done similar things and guess what, it never works.

 

We are trying to tell you in here what the best thing to do is but you won't listen. The best chance you have with getting this girl back is to launch her and move on. I truly hope someday you get her back. I'm all about redemption and would think it's awesome if it works out for you. But, you're going about it the wrong way by buying her christmas gifts and crap like that. You're on the road to epic failure.

 

Only when you don't want her anymore is she going to come back. Which means it has to be real... not fake. Do you really think you can fool a girl when she looks into your eyes? Girls always know when you're interested.

 

Life sucks, move on, let her go. Maybe she'll come back but when that happens I doubt you'll want her because you'll have a better girl in your life.

I just can't not want her anymore...

 

We may have just been friends about a year ago but I've had feelings since like Feb... Even when we were barely talking and just acquaintances, there was something about her.

[nice-easy-day]

I just can't not want her anymore...

 

Then I suggest you do what Surrealist said. Go for it. Just make sure you let us know how it works out. Cheers.

[Eddie Edirol]

Make sure you tell her exactly how you feel, get her the gifts and watch the reaction on her face.

[Bridgey]

Kain, listen to yourself. You -can't- not want her. This sounds like very unhealthy thinking, especially considering you were never actually with her. It sounds like you have two options right now.

 

1. Go NC and forget about her.

 

2. Tell her -exactly- how you feel and hope for the best.

 

Whichever you choose to do I hope it works in your favor.

[Surrealist]

Good, let's not let the cold hard facts get in the way of a potentially great love story....

 

All this talk about 'launch' is the language of pickup artists (PUAs) and as we all know, PUAs only ever attract girls with huge emotional baggage and low-grade chicks alike.

 

But this lady sounds like a real gem. She sounds like the one who is LTR potential and should be treated as such.

 

Look Kain, listen to me champ, if you launched her you would have NO chance of ever getting her. However when you see her next you turn on the charm and the waterworks as I outlined for you, at least you have some chance of getting with her and even if it doesn't work out there and then, fine! She will KNOW and retain in her heart and mind that you care for her and will remember that. There's a number of happily married people out there who'se relationship actually had beginnings just like this because the guy refused to quit and persevered.

 

Btw I just read that you may never see her again now class has finished? WTF! Mate you'll never get her if you don't see her again! Game over! You got to find a way of seeing her again no matter what, k?

[nice-easy-day]

Sorry man, I just had to post this....

 

 

We are here for you... honestly, I've been where you're at but things don't work out like in the movies. I know you're going to go ahead and keep after this girl despite what we've suggested.

 

So go for it like nobody has ever gone for it in the history of the world. Best wishes my friend (honestly). If you got this girl back you'd be my freaking hero!

[nice-easy-day]

Wow Surrealist, maybe you weren't being sarcastic. Now I'm second guessing myself about backing off this girl I have a crush on. What is LS coming to these days.

[Kain Highwind]

Good, let's not let the cold hard facts get in the way of a potentially great love story....

 

All this talk about 'launch' is the language of pickup artists (PUAs) and as we all know, PUAs only ever attract girls with huge emotional baggage and low-grade chicks alike.

 

But this lady sounds like a real gem. She sounds like the one who is LTR potential and should be treated as such.

 

Look Kain, listen to me champ, if you launched her you would have NO chance of ever getting her. However when you see her next you turn on the charm and the waterworks as I outlined for you, at least you have some chance of getting with her and even if it doesn't work out there and then, fine! She will KNOW and retain in her heart and mind that you care for her and will remember that. There's a number of happily married people out there who'se relationship actually had beginnings just like this because the guy refused to quit and persevered.

 

Btw I just read that you may never see her again now class has finished? WTF! Mate you'll never get her if you don't see her again! Game over! You got to find a way of seeing her again no matter what, k?

Well I meant lie I don't know if I'll see her at the college anymore. We can't hang out right now so the college is my only way of seeing her and her friends aid that she may only take one class

 

And she is a gem. I can say that even without having been with her. I can tell just from when we've hung out. She's like perfect to me. I love her with all my heart. I know she may not feel that way right now but I do think she had feelings for me. Like I said before, I know about oneitis but I seriously feel that she may be the one for me if we get together. I'd treat her as best as I could. She'd be my number one. If she was crossing thes treet and a car was speeding towards her, I'd push her out of the way. I'd have to think about doing it for anyone else (besides maybe one of my parents) but for her... I'd do it instantly. I care about her so much and I know I'd treat her well.

 

And just typing this has made me start to cry. I love her so much and I feel like I can safetly say that... I mean, I've never been able to say that with a girl I've actually been with, even for like a year together. I mean, just watching a movie on my couch while cuddling together would just make me so happy right now... I don't even care about sex really, I just wish she'd care about me liek I do for her.

Edited December 20, 2010 by Kain Highwind

[nice-easy-day]

Damn, not to hijack this thread but I'm starting to get into this now. I'm thinking about contacting my old crush. Maybe this is the season of redemption.

 

You know Kain, the odds are stacked against you but what do you have to lose?

[Kain Highwind]

Damn, not to hijack this thread but I'm starting to get into this now. I'm thinking about contacting my old crush. Maybe this is the season of redemption.

 

You know Kain, the odds are stacked against you but what do you have to lose?

I'm afraid that if I try now and it doesn't work, I'lll also lose her as a friend and I don't want that at all

 

I think I'd have a much better chance if they split up but waiting is just killing me...

[Kain Highwind]

and just staying close while staying distant at the same time wouldn't work?

 

I want to get in a LTR with her so badly... I really think it could work out great between us if she just gave me a chance

Edited December 20, 2010 by Kain Highwind

[that girl]

Why didn't you ask her out this summer when you were super close?

 

My gut feeling is that she thinks of you as just a friend and never really considered dating you. The other option is that she was kind of into you this summer but this fall she met a guy who just blew her socks off and you didn't stand a chance.

 

Telling her how you feel right now is putting her in a really tough spot. If she has some feelings for you, you're basically asking her to dump this other guy for you. And if she doesn't you're making it hard to be her friend.

 

You seem to know her friends, do you have any idea how her relationship is going? Any way of knowing whether or not she ever thought of you as more than a friend?

[ascendotum]

Kain, listen to yourself. You -can't- not want her. This sounds like very unhealthy thinking, especially considering you were never actually with her. It sounds like you have two options right now.

 

1. Go NC and forget about her.

 

2. Tell her -exactly- how you feel and hope for the best.

 

Whichever you choose to do I hope it works in your favor.

 

or 3. Do your best to stay in her orbit as a friend. Not ideal though, as it will not help you come to terms with the situation as months go by you will realize that she is happy and you are still not, however you are there for her if the relationship goes kaput.

 

Sorry Kain but I also don't predict a happy outcome for you here. I've been there, also like Griffenchicken. It really sucks to have an awesome girl that lights up your world, end up in a relationship with someone else.

 

but I've had feelings since like Feb

Even if this other guy hadn't showed up, you still don't know if you would have been successful with her. You might have still been 'just a good friend'. Shoulda woulda coulda.

 

I'm afraid that if I try now and it doesn't work, I'lll also lose her as a friend

There is a very good chance. I think its best to wait and keep an ear out for trouble in paradise. Do her friends know you are smitten with her? If so you could always test the waters by having one of them mention to her how you were really keen on her, and find out what her reaction was.

[Kain Highwind]

Why didn't you ask her out this summer when you were super close?

 

My gut feeling is that she thinks of you as just a friend and never really considered dating you. The other option is that she was kind of into you this summer but this fall she met a guy who just blew her socks off and you didn't stand a chance.

 

Telling her how you feel right now is putting her in a really tough spot. If she has some feelings for you, you're basically asking her to dump this other guy for you. And if she doesn't you're making it hard to be her friend.

 

You seem to know her friends, do you have any idea how her relationship is going? Any way of knowing whether or not she ever thought of you as more than a friend?

BEcause I could never find the right time. I wanted to make a move instead of asking on a date

 

I think they're going good right now... And I'm pretty sure she thought of me as more than a friend since we were gonna hang out for my birthday and she kept on making a point of it being just between us. That's actually when I was gonna make my move but then she got sick and then we really couldn't hang out when classes started

[Kain Highwind]

or 3. Do your best to stay in her orbit as a friend. Not ideal though, as it will not help you come to terms with the situation as months go by you will realize that she is happy and you are still not, however you are there for her if the relationship goes kaput.

 

Sorry Kain but I also don't predict a happy outcome for you here. I've been there, also like Griffenchicken. It really sucks to have an awesome girl that lights up your world, end up in a relationship with someone else.

 

but I've had feelings since like Feb

Even if this other guy hadn't showed up, you still don't know if you would have been successful with her. You might have still been 'just a good friend'. Shoulda woulda coulda.

 

I'm afraid that if I try now and it doesn't work, I'lll also lose her as a friend

There is a very good chance. I think its best to wait and keep an ear out for trouble in paradise. Do her friends know you are smitten with her? If so you could always test the waters by having one of them mention to her how you were really keen on her, and find out what her reaction was.

Yep, her two best friends know and they think I"d be better for her than he is

 

EDIT: ANd she's been friends with him for years before they got together (for that girl)

[Kain Highwind]

And just wondering... Until like a week ago, I haven't had a car. She always had to come to my house and drive us around. I live about 30 minutes away from her and he lives like less than 5

 

Since school got both of us really preoccupied, could that have had something to do with her decision too?

[BackUpOrGetStung]

The title of the post tells me enough to know that you're not going to get this girl. Just for kicks I read through some of it, and now it has been confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will not get her "someday". First and foremost, your mentality is all wrong; you're asking the wrong question. Your question should be "How do i get this girl that has a b/f?", not "Do you think I may get with this girl someday?" You have no confidence, which is why you never asked her out or made a move on her. Back way off of this girl, do not initiate any contact with her. Start moving on and bettering yourself and she it's possible she'll come see what you're up to if this relationship doesn't work out. The best thing you can do to help yourself is disappear.

[elaina]

Would just telling her how I feel be a bad idea?

 

I seriously think she liked me and I just can't keep this to myself...

 

Nah I don't think that would be a good idea. Please just let her go. If you want to be friends, fine, but right now, no you may not get with this girl someday, especially if you don't respect her while she is dating another guy. Please show some respect and let off. If it doesn't work out with her and that other guy, then maybe you can talk to her then, but if you push her, you'll move out of the friend zone into a zone you might not want to be in (which would not be "with" her in any way.)

 

Your question should be "How do i get this girl that has a b/f?",

Totally agree with Backuporgetstung,

 

You really need to respect her and her boyfriend. How would you like it if you were dating someone and another guy was wanting to date your girlfriend and didn't respect ya'lls relationship hmm? Not cool! Just be her friend. If it's meant to be, it'll work out naturally. Don't force it or you'll end up really upsetting her, and she won't want you as a boyfriend at all in the future if it doesn't work out between her and him, or her and any other men she's interested in. To me it sounds like you should find someone who is more interested in you than she is. That's not bad that she's not interested in you. People are all different and are interested in different traits. if you want, just be her friend and move on, or don't be her friend and move on.

Edited December 20, 2010 by elaina