SimonSerenade Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 So I've posted quite a bit lately, Since going no contact almost 2 months ago with my ex she's contacted me twice by email and had her mum ask me if I'd recieved the emails on Skype, I ignored every attempt and continued to work on myself and as painful as it is after all she did, I decided on never having anything to do with her again and I refuse to budge from that right now, I went through hell with her and without her and got nothing to show for it, I don't want to risk ever being dragged through that again and I know I deserved so much better. Now my new problem is she has told my mum that she's gone and bought me 3 christmas presents and is dropping my son off tomorrow at my mum's and might come and see me at my house (times like this I wish I'd never decided move on next street to her lol) to talk about something, As for that something, She didn't say, She was originally supposed to be coming down Christmas day but I think my mum made some excuses up so that it may be avoided thankfully as I really don't want to see her and hear whatever she has to say to me. Now what confuses me is on my birthday she didn't even get me a card let alone a present so why all of a sudden is she buying me christmas presents? I just don't understand it and I just don't understand why she'd even want to see me as it's always seemed like she never gave a damn about me after she ended it, I just need some advice on what to do and what all of this means cause it's got me scratching my head to the point where it's bleeding and I'm just hoping and praying that she just goes home and strays away from my place.
Author SimonSerenade Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 The Title was mean't to say "She's confusing me..."
homebrew Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Personally, I think she GROWING up... So in turn, she is getting "better"... Is she "there" yet? Nope... but I am glad to see (and you should too) that she is heading down the right path. It will take her a long while to get there and you still get over it (work through all the hurt and pain she caused). After that time, you can reevaluate what is best for you and how you want to proceed. What I like most about you... You know thyself... You know in your current state / frame of mind that you have not recovered from the break up yet. You are doing EXACTLY what you should be doing which is focusing on getting YOU where YOU need to be. I know she is tripping you out right now... but until she grows up and you get yourself back... It is a D.F.F. (Doomed for Failure) situation. If you still want it and it is meant to be, she will be there when you get it all sorted out.
swfc_77 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 simon i'v read some of your posts mate and wanted to ask if she was the mother of your son. i only ask because if she is then she obviously has to stay in contact with you in some way, if not then there's no need to be involved with her. i haven't commented on any of your post cos i dont have kids so wouldn't be able to relate to your situation. over the penines in sheff im am tho pal, hope the bloody snow holds off
Author SimonSerenade Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Thankyou for the replies, There very much appreciated. Sometime's just knowing I'm on the right path is helpful, I figured I did all I could when I went no contact and after sending her that one last letter I felt great as it gave me closure in a way and after all I did for her, I feel quite proud of the person I was after the break up as I always stayed true to how I felt, I think back when I tried to keep her around and do stuff for her, I think she pretty much knew there was no depth I wouldn't sink for another chance with her, No contact gave me the ability to get a part of me back that I thought was gone forever, My self respect and to be honest I'm quite content with being on my own now, She feels like a stranger at the moment and maybe that's the best all around, At least for now at least while I continue to work through these emotions, I made the decision that I don't want to see her till I know with 100% certainty that whatever she says or does won't hurt me in the slightest and even then I'd want her to be the one who makes that happen as I'm pretty much done with being the only one making efforts. Think some certain lyrics came to mind that made me really want to stand up for myself and walk away from her, "forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame, puts your name to shame, cover up your face, you can't run the race the pace is too fast you just won't last". I don't know of her intensions for all of what she's doing right now and I think I can live without knowing, All I know is right now I don't want be anything to her especially if it's the dreaded "friends" lol, I just wish she hadn't bought me presents and would stay out of sight over the holidays and for a long time after that, I intend to talk to her one day but even then it will be for my son's sake and I doubt it will ever be more than the occasional "ya alright?". I'm in a place right now where I feel good about myself, I still occasionally miss the person she was but that's gone now and I've accepted it, I don't hope for reconciliation or any of that, I just hope she finds the good part of herself again and finds somebody who can be all she ever wanted.
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