teamtrek15 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 My girlfriend and I are trying to work past some trust issues and it's hard.. I will go through our issue in brief and I need advice on whether on not we should try to work past this. We've moved very fast and spend plenty of time together and we both can't seem to "break up" but rather we will try to work it out and then a fight will start out of the blue. And then everything is "okay" again. We say we love one another but listen to the story. Her lie: I caught her hiding a guy in her phone under a girl's name. I busted her prematurely and never got to find out who it really was. She claims it was a guy she went on a couple of dates with before me and they remained friends and she knew it was wrong and was trying to end the freindship but swears they never had sex before me or while we were together. I don't believe it was him and think he is an imaginary person. I think it was her ex that she was off and on with over the past 5 years. because once she changed her facebook status to in a relationship he called her right away while i was there. he even messaged me 2 messages one night basically saying she is trying to "mess around" when she is playing around on her phone and how she has no business posting pics of us on facebook. he even posted under one of our pictures "he looks too young for you and God is watching you". I think they were talking at least the whole time and I really believe it was him. Last night we were arguing about it and she was looking very guilty like she was about to admitt it was him and then started crying and got really angry. But I'm telling you she was seconds from breaking down and telling me. They tried to work things out over the summer but it never worked out and we met and the rest is history. I think they were playing text tag at the least the whole time we were together. im not sure if she cheated but who knows. but she still says it wasn't him. i think she doesn't want to tell me that it was him because she is scared of losing me.
january2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 Sometimes, we never really "get over" our exes. But many of us are able to accept that we won't go back there again and are able to give our future relationships our best shot without letting any residual feelings for our exes cast a shadow. If her unresolved feelings are casting a big shadow over your relationship, you're never going to feel secure and she's always going to wonder, "what if?" I suggest having a frank talk with her about whether or not she actually needs space to work this out with her ex. This could lead to you guys taking a break while she sorts herself out. Or she may decide that there's nothing to work out and either tells her ex that they can only ever be friends and nothing more or she goes fully and permanently NC with him.
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