WildWildWest Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I just recently became interested in a guy I have known for about a year now.. actually he has been trying to get with me for bout that long now I just never gave him the time of day cuz I was involved with someone else.. Now thats ended I have decided to maybe give this guy a try... only problem is he seems like a player to me... I could be totally wrong but he's such a smooth talker and a flirt.. he talks soo much stuff to everyone even ppl I KNOW he isnt interested in.. Idk if thats just how he is or what... But he always says all the right things and it even sounds like bs most of the time.. idk if he is just trying to be funny or what.. cuz he is a bit of a smartypants.. but along with his charming personality comes his adorable good looks.. which makes him an even better canidate for a player.. He tells me that he really likes me.. he calls and txts me everyday... he even asked my brother if he would mind if he started dating me.. (my bro and him are friends also).. he said he wants everyone to know about us (we work together, which is always a bad idea I know) in which he has recently made it very obvious to everyone.. everytime I question him and tell him that the stuff he says is a bunch of bull he tells me that its not and that he wants to be my man.. I told him he would have to prove that.. and he said he would... I am worried that he is doing all this just to get me in the bed.. since we havent been that far yet... Does he seem like a player?
Str8noChaser Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Sounds like you've resisted his charms for over a year, making you a bit of a challenge & ramping up the desire factor. Forget about his declarations to the office right now, has he been trying to take you out on a date? Or is he trying to get you back to his or your place?
Str8noChaser Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Hang on, you said you two haven't been that far yet. Have you already been physical with him to some degree?
Author WildWildWest Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 on his boat over the summer and i always told him i would go but never did... he invited me out a couple weekends ago.. it was him and a bunch of other ppl from the job.. thats when we really started talking... I was thinking he was so interested because I was such a challenge and ignored him for that past year... I keep asking him if he's just doing all this to prove that he can get me.. if he is just playing games and he says he isnt.. and if he was i dont see why he would ask my bro if he would mind him dating me if he was just trying to play me... thats why I am really confused :/
Author WildWildWest Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 is kissing... thats as far as its been.
Str8noChaser Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Ok...inviting you out on his boat isnt really a first date. Nor is inviting you out with a bunch of coworkers. You said he is good looking, charming, smooth talker. He probably has lots of options. You can take control of the situation and tell him what your ideal first date is & see if he takes you up on it or not. He's not going to tell you to your face he's only in it because you've played hard to get (in his mind) for a year.
Author WildWildWest Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 good thinking.. I could be overreacting since I have a hard time trusting ppl anyway... i guess its just his outgoing personality... do players really go to the extreme that he has gone thru?
Str8noChaser Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 WWW, you are focused on the wrong things. The fact that you have already been physical with him, based on him making no actual effort (words don't count) has already sent him a message. Before I continue advising your situation, What do you want from this guy? To be a boyfriend? To sleep with him? To be taken out?
Author WildWildWest Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 Of a boyfriend.. just someone special to spend time with.. do things together.. and of course sleep with.. not sure if I want something super serious.
lenny Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 My guy is very much like this - and I just love him to pieces. From my experience, I wouldn't believe what he says too much; it's just talk. But at the same time don't think he's doing all this talk to try to manipulate. These outgoing, flirty guys aren't necessarily trying to trick anyone but have big hearts and love for people to be happy and feel good. A good example with my guy is at about a two weeks into the relationship he says to me that if I don't cheat on him he's going to keep me forever. At about the three month mark we are having this big heart to heart and he says the same thing word for word to me like it's supposed to be this big pronouncement so I called him on it and he said ... but now I really mean it. He doesn't schmooze me very often anymore which I kind of questioned to learn that he doesn't put a lot of faith in words whatsoever - they don't really mean anything to him - he shows me with actions how much he cares. I think the long and short of it is even though these ones verbally pronounce everything, you'll still be guessing their real feelings just as much as you would a very reserved guy that says nothing.
Str8noChaser Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Ok, you pretty much put the cart before the horse when you started being physical with him with no foundation being laid for a real relationship. By already fooling around with him, he's a few more charming steps away from sleeping with you WITHOUT even taking you out, much less being your boyfriend. You won't be able to back into a relationship once you cross that point. Again, if he is as good looking, smooth talking and charming as you say, after he has conquered you sexually, his relentless pursuits of the last year or so will most likely cease to zero and you'll be left confused wondering what the hell happened. I would suggest you no longer put yourself in situations with him where he has access to be physical with you. You need to emotionally withdraw, like how you were viewing him as not an option when you were in a relationship and start finding others to date. What may happen is, he'll sense you are pulling away and will amp up the pursuit. This time, you set your standards with him. Yes he got away with kissing you before, but now you want to go to a movie, maybe even get something to eat. Make him woo you again vs. seeing you as an easy option. As you pace yourself in the dating, while he still wants to sleep with you, and you want him, it'll give you both time time to actually get to know each other and hopefully you'll see if he is in fact a playboy or not, before you sleep with him. Honestly thought, it sounds like you are already smitten with this guy and are grasping at straws "hoping" he isn't a playboy when deep down you already know the answer to that question. It's fine if you want to date him a bit & have some fun, but knowing who he is, try and not get too caught up in his charms. And always believe what he does over what he says. Good luck to you!
Author WildWildWest Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 I cant tell his real feelings cuz he talks so much smack.. and the last one i was with i didnt kno his real feelings cuz he said nothing! I feel like I wil never be able to get a real answer outta him... I think he does it to try and be funny cuz he has a great sense of humor... but he is a flirt.. i can tell... plus he's got the good looks... I just dont kno how to approach the situation.
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