irc333 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I have known this woman for a decent while now. She had a good guy friend (former boyfriend) that she still hung out with, she said she was seriously a best friend to her....but come New Years, apparently he's going to this New Years party at his friends house, and she was wondering if she could come,too. And he goes, "Well, it might look like we're a couple if we're together" And she goes, "Oh, you have someone special you plan on joining you?" and he goes, "Maybe" Then he fessed up that he'll be going with someone, and he didnt want her along. Apparently this upset her...and she doesn't want to be alone for New Years when "Midnight" chimes in. She calls me up last night, and asks me if I have any plans for Friday, and I said, "No, why?" And she asked if I could come over...and I said sure (duh), lol and I suggested going out dancing or something. And it sounds like she wants to "stay in" to watch a movie or eat in. So I'll be IN her place. Thing is though, should I be concerned she's only being with me because she's "lonley during the holidays" or take advantage of this opportunity? Or perhaps its just "timing" that she became available in this manner, and now is my opportunity to date her?
Madgick1 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Thing is though, should I be concerned she's only being with me because she's "lonley during the holidays" or take advantage of this opportunity? You shouldn't be 'concerned' that she's only with you because she wants company on NYE. It's nothing to be concerned about. She clearly doesn't want to be alone that evening and wanted to spend it with you. So she likes you. After all, I assume she has other friends, and of all her friends, she chose you. Since she wants to stay in, she's not using you, exploiting you as a body filler for a date. She wants to spend some time with you--clearly you aren't her first choice, but that doesn't mean you are chopped liver either. So if you want, take advantage of this opportunity. Go and have fun with her. Maybe it's the start of something for you and her. Maybe not, but if you want to find out, NYE would be a good time to start.
Str8noChaser Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I have known this woman for a decent while now. She had a good guy friend (former boyfriend) that she still hung out with, she said she was seriously a best friend to her....but come New Years, apparently he's going to this New Years party at his friends house, and she was wondering if she could come,too. And he goes, "Well, it might look like we're a couple if we're together" And she goes, "Oh, you have someone special you plan on joining you?" and he goes, "Maybe" Then he fessed up that he'll be going with someone, and he didnt want her along. Apparently this upset her...and she doesn't want to be alone for New Years when "Midnight" chimes in. Upset in what way? That he was deceptive? (understandable) or that he has a date? (red flag for you if you're trying to date her).
Cee Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Is this a date or a friend hangout? I think you should go for it and treat the evening like a date. Don't let her friendzone you during the night. Sweep her off her feet. Maybe she'll be think pal in the beginning, but by the end she's thinking, "Wow." Show up looking great and maybe bring a thoughtful gift like a bottle of wine or freshly ground coffee. Flowers are probably over the top, but one Gerber daisy isn't too crazy. Those are just my ideas. Good luck. I'm going to remain single over the holidays so I'm living vicariously through you.
NoLongerSad Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 irc, why not just tell her to invite one of her other girlfriends over for NYE?
BackUpOrGetStung Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Don't overthink it. A girl basically just asked you to come over and **** her. Do it, and if it leads to something more, GREAT! If not, you just got laid for free with zero effort, also GREAT! Do you already like her? What do you want from her? She'll probably pull out all the stops and rock your world; make sure you match her intensity, and maybe have a nice FWB lined up, if not more. Good luck!
NoLongerSad Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Don't overthink it. A girl basically just asked you to come over and **** her. Do it, and if it leads to something more, GREAT! If not, you just got laid for free with zero effort, also GREAT! Do you already like her? What do you want from her? She'll probably pull out all the stops and rock your world; make sure you match her intensity, and maybe have a nice FWB lined up, if not more. Good luck! LOL no she did NOT. She invited him over to commiserate that she lost out on the boyfriend. The only way OP knows this is because this girl is already using him as the shoulder to cry on. IOW OP is "safe" so she can invite him over, they can eat popcorn, do their nails, watch the ball drop in Times Square, and she can cry her heart out about her unrequited love for the other guy. OP has never said he was ever physical with this woman, it's just someone he's "known." This is not a "date." On NYE, a woman expects the man to take her OUT ON THE TOWN if it's a date. Of all nights of the year. Now afterwards, if she invites him back, that's a different story....but this IS NOT A DATE.
Author irc333 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 Actually, to clarify it IS a date, I even asked her, and she concurred that it was a date, plus, I'm going over tonight....this has nothing to do with me going out with her on NYE. Besides, that's how her ex started off with her, friends only. And not to worry, we've been flirty with each other, she's even talked dirty to me on the phone. LOL no she did NOT. She invited him over to commiserate that she lost out on the boyfriend. The only way OP knows this is because this girl is already using him as the shoulder to cry on. IOW OP is "safe" so she can invite him over, they can eat popcorn, do their nails, watch the ball drop in Times Square, and she can cry her heart out about her unrequited love for the other guy. OP has never said he was ever physical with this woman, it's just someone he's "known." This is not a "date." On NYE, a woman expects the man to take her OUT ON THE TOWN if it's a date. Of all nights of the year. Now afterwards, if she invites him back, that's a different story....but this IS NOT A DATE.
Author irc333 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 Not deceptive, but she was so used to having HIM as a best friend, but now might have to part ways, because he's found someone. She has no interest in dating him. I got that conversation over the phone done in a flash, "oh, you're upset, that' snice.....it's happened to me a few times, I know what that's like.....so I'll see you at 7, right?" ;-) Upset in what way? That he was deceptive? (understandable) or that he has a date? (red flag for you if you're trying to date her).
Cee Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Tonight sounds promising although I've never been a fan of having the first date in someone's home. It removes the specialness of it. However, it is cold and the holiday season so she'll probably have the place pretty and festive. You might want to bring over a game or some music. Although nowadays with technology, you'll probably have everything you both need on her laptop. Congratulations on the date & I look forward to hearing the update.
NoLongerSad Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Actually, to clarify it IS a date, I even asked her, and she concurred that it was a date, plus, I'm going over tonight....this has nothing to do with me going out with her on NYE. Besides, that's how her ex started off with her, friends only. And not to worry, we've been flirty with each other, she's even talked dirty to me on the phone. OK. Then this means today's "first date" is simply to set something up with you so she will have a date for New Year's Eve, so she doesn't have to sit home alone. It doesn't mean you're bf/gf and it actually sounds very manipulative on her part.
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