andyhr Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 My sister dated a man for almost two years and he was married. They kept going back and forth and he had cheated on his wife before, which she knew about, but he didn't know that. He tried to make her think he was faithful, after they were together for a while, and it took them over a year to have sex because he kept pulling back. They worked together before their affair and he always flirted with her a lot, I remember telling her how stupid she was that she couldn't see how much he was coming on to her! I wasn't condoning it, but it was very obvious. After she left the company, they started an affair and she's married too, I was the only one who knew. But he kept breaking up with her, at the same time stressing what a good dad he was, how he raised his boys (she has a boy too), commenting on what a good mom she was, etc. She let him know she knew he was a cheater and it didn't bother her, b/c she only wanted an affair and nothing serious with him. He kept promising her that it was his "first time". They broke up for the last time and she was convinced it was because of her weight - she was sort of overweight. So she lost it ALL in the past 4 months and looks awesome. She had to send an email to a group of people the other day, including the guy, and one of her male friends replied to all by mistake asking how she was, because she looked "so skinny" and telling her how lucky her husband was. She was sure that after finding out she was skinny, the married guy would contact her. He didn't. How do I explain to her that he didn't leave her because of her weight? Am I right to advise her in saying that if he had left because of her looks, he would have come back once he learned she was thin? She won't believe me. How can I help her?
PegNosePete Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 She is having an affair, and is worried about what the OM thinks of her? What does her husband think of her? And what does she think of her husband? Not much, by the sounds of it. Tell her to come clean and divorce the poor guy. What did he do to deserve a cheating wife?
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 The only way to help her is to OUT her! Tell her husband...this way she doesnt end up being anorexic over some fool who couldnt care less about her! And that way her husband has a choice if he wants to be involved with someone like her.
Woggle Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 This is precisely why many men have a hard time trusting women. She starves herself for some cheating scumbag but she couldn't care less about her husband who is probably a good guy.
seibert253 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Tell her husband..he can help her. No further advice is needed.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 How can I help her? if i understood the post correctly, your sister is married? First step in helping her is to tell her to quit being a cheater:o
NoLongerSad Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 If you have children, don't let auntie baby sit, she might teach them the wrong lessons.
Darth Vader Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I agree, tell her husband the truth! Your sister is exposing him to STDs, like AIDS!
rowell2024 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 It doesn't surprise me anymore how cheaters will make sacrifices and changes, an expend a lot of energy for their affair partner. I've experienced that first hand. You're wasting your time talking to your sister about it. She will not listen to you anyway because she's still in the affair fog. You said your sister wanted the affair and nothing serious despite knowing he's a serial cheater? Seems to me your sister is a serial cheater too and your brother in law doesn't deserve to be treated in that fashion.
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