PuertoRican Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 (edited) There is so much I have to say .....We were together for over a year (nov '09-dec '10) and had a connection right from the start (cliche I know but it was true.) This guy gave me so much love and was ALWAYS there for me; my mom and I never got along and my brother was away so I didn't have anyone else besides a few friends. He actually brought my mom and I together because she really began to like him. I broke up with him twice, the first time in july for a few days (for no good reason ) and then again in the middle of Nov because I was stressed from school and work. The second time I went to break up with him I didn't even know how to do it but I assured him it wasn't a serious "we're-over-permanately" break-up. He was really hurt but we still saw each other everyday after that break up and everything was perfect! We were soooo happy together, even happier before the split and that weekend I decided to continue our official relationship. That weekend, he was supposed to be coming over but basically time passed and he wasn't on his way. He was with some friends playing a game but I was very upset because he had never "stood me up" like a no show, so that was a first. I was really hurt and I wanted that night to be when everything was right again so naturally i was FURIOUS. We got in a huge fight over the phone and when all was said and done I SPED over to his apartment to tell him I didn't want things to be like this. (This was our first serious fight ever) After the fight, my ex started acting VERY weird around me; not touching me the same, kinda lost the shine in his eyes for me....he used to be so affectionate torwards me. I never thought this would happen between us. I apologizezd for everything, the fight, when I broke up with him; everything....but nothing changed his mind. We broke up in the beginning of December and 4 days later he told me he had kissed this girl that I kept asking if he liked. The truth hurt so bad, but I can't believe he did that to me soooo soon! We were together for over a year! He didn't want to give things a second chance and he is basically forcing himself to get over me. I am so lost in all of this. I feel betrayed, hurt and tramuatized from all this. The worst part is this girl knew that my ex and I were together for a long time. SHE KNEW WHO I WAS. Our relationship had so much potential and It hurts so bad that he can throw away everything between us over some new girl. I want him to miss me and I just want a second chance. The last time we talked he told me I don't even cross his mind and that he loves me but is not in-love with me. He is just consumed by a new girl and I guarentee if we were to put this all aside and hang out how we used to, all his feelings that he "no longer has" would come rushing back. I am so hurt and cannot stop thinking of him (the worst is when I sleep....I literally replay everyday of our relationship....) We were so happy together and as I look back on it, I can't even pinpoint one quality I didn't like about him. I regret everything I did and feel like it is my fault that he stopped caring about me. I realize that I broke up with him because I was starting to REALLLLY fall for this guy and he did show me he loved me too but I just got scared and very insecure like I knew I was gonna end up getting hurt....my stupidity ...I should have just believe it because he used to love me unconditionally but I was still afraid of loving him, doesn't matter I still did and do...the pain is here now because I was selfish....It's like, when I broke up with him, that WASN'T ME..I never wanted this to happen between us....I realize now that I was a fool.... All's I wanted was a second chance but he is too focused on this new girl and I don't think he realizes what he's doing...I've tried to talk to him but I know I can't change his mind. I just wish I could go back in time and stop myself from what I did. Everyone makes mistakes but he just gave up on me. :( Please, any advice is GREATLY APPRECIATED. Edited December 17, 2010 by PuertoRican
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