Gt.ooh Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 ...Have heard: "Nothing will ever happen between us." "I have no interest in you." "I don't want to be friends." I know there's more, but those are the general sayings we all hear. But after 3,6,9,12 months down the road you get a reach out from the ex in some way. How common is this?
Eternity001 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Pretty common for me and my circle of friends. I'd say a hit ratio of about 70% of people I know.
BlindRage Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 ...Have heard: "Nothing will ever happen between us." "I have no interest in you." "I don't want to be friends." I know there's more, but those are the general sayings we all hear. But after 3,6,9,12 months down the road you get a reach out from the ex in some way. How common is this? Hahaha... have you heard the old "i don't have any feelings for you at all" and yes, I've heard that "I don't want to be friends" one too. The most recent one being "stay the **** out of my life, I don't ever want to ****ing hear from you, dont ****ing call/message me. " Thats what I heard about 3 days ago from my ex. Please tell me I'm not the only one who this has happened too. Well finally, after hearing that, I gathered up my strength and I have gone NC for the past 3 days. We've been broken up for about 4 months now. It has been a really hard time for me but I'm going to do what they want, which is, "don't ****ing call/message me.":(
9Lives Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Sorry but no I have not hear any of that. But I can see how that would really be hurtful. I wouldnt call that person again for sure
Ajax Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 My last ex hasn't reached out since we went NC almost four months ago, but I've had previous exes reach out to me. One of them even started talking to me after this most recent breakup and said that I deserve a nice girl I was like, "gee... thanks..." I don't think my last ex will ever reach out though. I would be very surprised to ever hear from her again. Even when we were together it was clear that she routinely cut people out of her life and once they were gone they were dead to her.
bestrong Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 ...Have heard: "Nothing will ever happen between us." "I have no interest in you." "I don't want to be friends." I know there's more, but those are the general sayings we all hear. But after 3,6,9,12 months down the road you get a reach out from the ex in some way. How common is this? Got all 3 of them from my recent ex after she started dating again. WHOOPS! Painful!
mgene15 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 LOL, yep about 4 months ago I was told "it's over!" "I'm trying to forget about you" and "we can still be friends" .... I'm like no... I'm not being friends with someone I love to only watch them fall in love with someone else.... women can say some harsh things they don't realize at the time...meanwhile we all remember every word they said when the breakup happend and play it again and again in our head....I remember one thing my ex said was ... "It's gonna take some time"... don't no exactly what that meant... but ... man... GT... the way I look at it is.. if we don't wonder or count on them calling us back in the future... then we won't be dissapointed...u feel me? I personally need to get it my head that I will never get contacted by her... we all should do that about our ex's
Sonolumino Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I don't think my last ex will ever reach out though. I would be very surprised to ever hear from her again. Even when we were together it was clear that she routinely cut people out of her life and once they were gone they were dead to her. This is exactly how I feel too. I will be shocked I ever hear from her again. She routinely cut people out of her life without problems, including her best friend. I'm no different.
LoneWolf30 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Hahaha... have you heard the old "i don't have any feelings for you at all" and yes, I've heard that "I don't want to be friends" one too. The most recent one being "stay the **** out of my life, I don't ever want to ****ing hear from you, dont ****ing call/message me. " Thats what I heard about 3 days ago from my ex. Please tell me I'm not the only one who this has happened too. Well finally, after hearing that, I gathered up my strength and I have gone NC for the past 3 days. We've been broken up for about 4 months now. It has been a really hard time for me but I'm going to do what they want, which is, "don't ****ing call/message me." I read this thinking if I wrote this because my ex is exactly the same. I've been broken up for 5 days now, and even when we were together, I got those words from her when we had disagreements. Can I say mental abuse!!!
abust1 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I've got a pretty unique one.. "I was just attached to you because it was right after my mom died" That's been stinging for months
SimonSerenade Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Oh yes! I heard them all "I don't love you anymore" "I haven't loved you for a long time" "Maybe one day in the future but the distant future" then here's one that stops the ticker "get over me cause one day il be with someone else and he wont want me if your still pathetically hanging around" >.> Fact is people say stupid stuff when there angry especially right after a relationship has ended, That's why I wish I went no contact straight away, I haven't spoken to her in nearly 2 months and if I'm honest she dosen't phase me anymore, I've proven to myself that I can be fine without her and now when I really think of everything she put me through, I just hate her for it and couldn't for the life of me seeing myself giving her another shot, The pain ought to be worth something?, Maybe it's getting your self respect and dignity back. My ex cut out many of her friends while we were together but always wound up going back to them and it's the same for us, Even if it's a year from now there bound to wonder about a massive part of there life that they let go.
b_rouse Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 ...Have heard: "Nothing will ever happen between us." "I have no interest in you." "I don't want to be friends." I've actualy heard the invert of 2 of them. My ex said, "There could be an us in the future." And, "I still want to be friends." As well as, "I don't have feelings for you anymore." Those were all said in the same speech he gave me. I don't think he knew what he wanted, but frankly, I don't really care anymore.
Author Gt.ooh Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Oh yes! I heard them all "I don't love you anymore" "I haven't loved you for a long time" "Maybe one day in the future but the distant future" then here's one that stops the ticker "get over me cause one day il be with someone else and he wont want me if your still pathetically hanging around" >.> Fact is people say stupid stuff when there angry especially right after a relationship has ended, That's why I wish I went no contact straight away, I haven't spoken to her in nearly 2 months and if I'm honest she dosen't phase me anymore, I've proven to myself that I can be fine without her and now when I really think of everything she put me through, I just hate her for it and couldn't for the life of me seeing myself giving her another shot, The pain ought to be worth something?, Maybe it's getting your self respect and dignity back. My ex cut out many of her friends while we were together but always wound up going back to them and it's the same for us, Even if it's a year from now there bound to wonder about a massive part of there life that they let go. Yea Simon, man thats a tough one to swallow. And I couldn't agree more, their ego (on the other side of the fence), tells them to be angry and lash out in order to get us to "move on" they think. Meanwhile all it does is crush us further. I just wished she would have been a little more respectful in not being so harsh, but hey obviously everyone gets a peice of it during a break-up.. Mgne, yea I pretty much am going with I won't hear from her again, BUT, there's going to be unfinished business at the end of the condo lease contract. I know she'll have to make some sort of contact..it'll be interesting to see how she goes about it. Because right now, I don't want to even see her name on an email.. What it comes down to for me (maybe some others' in the same boat)...I'm getting a little impatient in wanting another girl..I don't really want a full bore relationship, but I would like someone to gt the movies with or watch a hockey game...and of course physical attachment. It's getting lame sitting at home on a friday night posting on LS (love the site, but there is a line). Thats where I miss her a lot, she was totally cool with sitting at home vs going anywhere.
homebrew Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Assuming we are talking about a Long Term Relationship... Close too, during and after the break up... Both the Dumper and the Dumpee say all kinds of things... aside from the nice things, ignore the rest. I have seen or heard of hundreds of stories where people said some pretty outlandish things and were totally crazy! Given enough time and space... What both parties actually remember is the relationship itself. Assuming you were not on an episode of Jerry Springer... You will more than likely hear from an EX at some point down the road. I knew people where cheating was involved, restraining orders... heck even one of my co-workers beat up his Exes new boyfriend (this was years ago), but he heard from her too. My aunt who has been married for 30+ years just heard from a guy she dated in high-school. There isn't a sole on the planet that hasn't thought or wondered whatever happened to their EXes. to know how you turned out. Factor that in with the age of the internet, email and facebook... They are all a click away. It is RARE that you don't hear from them... Not the other way around. NOTE: If you hear from them... It does not mean they want to get back together. Most people are just checking in to see how you are doing and where you ended up. So don't read into it to much. If they want to date you again.... They will make it VERY CLEAR to you what their intentions are.
poorguy Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 They all get back in to contact as long as you haven't been bothering them in any way shape or form after some time. I would say between 6 months to a year....I will point out that it doesn't matter if who dumped who either-The one who reaches out is the ONE who was usually responsible for the demise of the relationship, whether it was due to GIGS, cheating, etc...
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