machiavellian Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I had a thread in October in another section asking about bringing a birthday gift to a bday party weekend that the attendees had to pay for ($$$$). I should mention that this group of friends/acquaintances loooooove throwing these kinds of parties. Can't use the word "host" since I am the one paying for it Just got an email about having another one of these damn things later this winter for a birthday. I really like and respect the person whose bday it is, and he happens to be a very close, long-time friend of my SO (we got engaged, btw!). Here is the thing: another girl was invited, and is coming, who I DESPISE because she is so unbelievably rude to me, and my bf is not a fan either, because of how she treats me. The other thing is that they invited about 20 people. This is what happens every time they do one of these things - 20 people come, and we end up having to pay hundreds of dollars to sleep on a couch in the living room. Bf decided to invite a couple other people, and have us get our own NOT over-crowded cabin next door to theirs. I thought this was a great idea, and our friends did also. We already have a cabin-ful and were really looking forward to this. I thought it was the best of both worlds: we get to celebrate the birthday with them, but we don't have to be disrespected or get angry or have issues because I am being treated badly. But now the bday boy's gf is pissed off because she claims it will be difficult to get everyone organized to hang out. On a side note, the last time we went to one of these we were not included in any of the "activities". In fact, it appeared that we were there simply to lower the cost of the weekend for everyone else. How should this be handled? Were we in the wrong here?
laRubiaBonita Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 ugh.... and why MUST you go? i get that you like the bday boy and all- but if it is this much drama already, i would skip it. i remember your other thread, and really it just seems like a lot of hoo ha. whatever happened to just going to dinner? or having a house party?
2sure Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 If BD Boys' GF is pissed off its because your funding will not go into her kitty. Simply state that you all wanted to be sure you had comfortable and private sleeping accomodations.
Author machiavellian Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 (edited) ugh.... and why MUST you go? i get that you like the bday boy and all- but if it is this much drama already, i would skip it. i remember your other thread, and really it just seems like a lot of hoo ha. whatever happened to just going to dinner? or having a house party? The bday boy is one of my bf's best friends, so we feel bad, BUT: my bf (and I also of course) am so angry about how this one girl treats me (and everyone condones it, because they are HER friends) that we will probably not be going at all if we don't have our own cabin, which is why we thought it was a good idea. Otherwise, we would've done as you suggested and sent our regrets along with a dinner invitation. If BD Boys' GF is pissed off its because your funding will not go into her kitty. Simply state that you all wanted to be sure you had comfortable and private sleeping accomodations. My thoughts exactly. This is also what I wanted to say, but bf is too nice - we both know that if this statement was made we would end up having to point out the way we and others got shafted at other such weekends. I might still be able to convince him this is the appropriate response I honestly can't believe that people who are mostly in their 30s expect this kind of crap. I am the only person involved in these things who is under 30 and makes less than $100K/year. Edited December 16, 2010 by machiavellian
Author machiavellian Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 (edited) Now I'm pissed off! Bf went and told the other girl: here is our case for getting a second cabin (he listed all stupid fluffy reasons and not a single one of the real reasons), but if you still have a problem with it, don't worry, we won't bring it up again. On top of that, he says I'm being "snotty" about this whole thing! His reasoning in this includes the fact that I don't participate in the activity that is planned for the weekend. I have tried it and for my own very good reasons will never do it again. Apparently I'm being "snotty" because I won't make an exception in this case and participate. Apparently I'm also being "snotty" because I don't want to have to sleep on a couch in a public place :mad::mad::mad: I AM SO MAD! This whole thing is completely ridiculous. Bf also finally agreed with me that he thinks this girl is so mad because she wants us to help pay for it - but apparently I was being snotty by stating this opinion to begin with. If you can't afford this crap, you shouldn't suggest it and then get pissed off when someone else would rather pay more to have some privacy, not to mention having some distance from the a huge XXXX. Edited December 17, 2010 by machiavellian Pardon my language
Author machiavellian Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Oh man...anytime you are invited to an organized gathering that requires pitching in by everyone, and it's people you don't hang with often, it's only because of cost, vs. because you are really wanted there. That is harsh but true and total b.s. This is what I think also, and I never want to go to these stupid things, bf is the one who always insists on going, even though it is ridiculously expensive to basically not get any sleep and I personally never have fun at them, can't speak for him, but he doesn't seem to have a particularly good time either. I'm so angry at him about how he handled this situation - it is even worse than what I posted about above, I just don't feel comfortable posting all the details here. I'm so angry that I don't even know how to talk to him about it, because I don't think he thinks he did anything wrong, or realizes how disappointed in him I am. The only good part is that I talked to my sister and she has fixed the mess he made (and he wasn't even grateful or appreciative).
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