My GF is e-mailing her ex, what should I think? email included

[Distant78]

I agree with everyone here. You know she's already cheating on you right? At least emotionally. She has disrespected you to an almost unspeakable level and continues to do so unless you drop her azz to the fullest. All the comments about how you should wait and if you confront her she'll hate you are BS. She will only get mad and defensive because she knows what she's doing is wrong, so she'll try and blameshift by saying you're insecure and infiltrated her privacy. Sorry when a cheater cheats, all privacy flies out the window.

 

"All I can tell you is that I do hold a special place in my heart for you and I have enjoyed talking with you the last couple of days."

 

^^^^^^^^^

This above tells you all that you need to know. Those emails she's sending to him should tell you how she still fantasizes about her ex and how she misses his c0ck. She's nothing but a whore who's throwing away your relationship because she refuses to get over her ex. Women like her only live for the thrill at the expense of other people's feelings. And you will have to settle for 50/50 custody because the court system likes to cuddle women, even if they are cheaters. Drop her, be there for the kid and move on to find someone who will never cheat on you. You never deserved this. If she wants to chase old flames, she can do it without you being a safety net. Cheaters are selfish, pathetic, and deserve nothing.

[poorguy]

I'm telling everyone here that what she did was/is wrong but her emails were just for attention not because she wants to leave her current for her ex. It's just something that ex GF's do because they like the attention

[Distant78]

I'm telling everyone here that what she did was/is wrong but her emails were just for attention not because she wants to leave her current for her ex. It's just something that ex GF's do because they like the attention

 

And you think it's okay because they want to receive attention from someone else outside the relatioship, specifically an old flame? There's no excuse to justify cheating or "looking for attention.":laugh: If she wants attention, that's what her man is there for. Not writing stupid lovey-dovey letters to some ex and thinking about how good he made her feel years ago and talking to him. It's obvious she doesn't care about her relationship with her current boyfriend if she wants attention so badly and cheats on him. It's not "just something ex GF's do."

[poorguy]

No what she did is/was wrong without a doubt-I'm not denying that. I'm just saying that my ex GF sent almost the same set of emails to me. She even got extremley sexual in hers. She went on about our sex life and how much she misses it and being in my arms at my house and sucking my whatever...End of the day her new BF that she lives with certainly didn't find out but did she act on it-NO!!! It was all BS for attention probably after a fight with her man...So bottom line is- No harm done

[poorguy]

Man though if I had that dudes email lol

[Distant78]

No what she did is/was wrong without a doubt-I'm not denying that. I'm just saying that my ex GF sent almost the same set of emails to me. She even got extremley sexual in hers. She went on about our sex life and how much she misses it and being in my arms at my house and sucking my whatever...End of the day her new BF that she lives with certainly didn't find out but did she act on it-NO!!! It was all BS for attention probably after a fight with her man...So bottom line is- No harm done

 

Whether she acted on those feelings or not, there's still deception there and emailing others about having sex with someone else is really disrespectful, and shows how much they value their relationships, which is not at all. There is still harm done, it's just the victims don't know it yet.

[poorguy]

I suppose...Like I said I don't agree with it and it is wrong to say the least. People do weird things for attention and that's all it was, nothing more nothing less. If I ever find a girl doing that to me I'll just talk to her about it and probably forgive and forget as long as nothing really happened I suppose. Where's the OP anyway???

[safetravel7]

I gotta say it has been great receiving so much feedback so far. The funny thing is that I agree a little bit with what everyone is posting.

 

The last e-mail I was able to see she basically stated that they were saying goodbye and how they had goodbye a million times. This was last week and there has not been any communication since then. Now, I am debating if to bring it up and or wait and see if more communication happens. She doesn't know I have access to her email, not sure if I have enough ammunition...may be for an improper e-mail true, but nothing hard saying that she is actually cheating.. just trying to be careful and smart about showing my cards too soon.

 

What do you think?

[imagine]

 

The last e-mail I was able to see she basically stated that they were saying goodbye and how they had goodbye a million times. This was last week and there has not been any communication since then. Now, I am debating if to bring it up and or wait and see if more communication happens. She doesn't know I have access to her email, not sure if I have enough ammunition...may be for an improper e-mail true, but nothing hard saying that she is actually cheating.. just trying to be careful and smart about showing my cards too soon.

 

What do you think?

 

Yep. Get reasonable evidence.

 

Would it harm to have a discussion about a friend of your contacting his ex. Be careful not to become emotionally involved in the talk!

 

Say this was a discussion amongst your friends (that's us).

[poorguy]

Dude I'm telling you don't even bother talking to her about it just yet. What she did was wrong but she was just trying to play a silly little game with him. She's not leaving you-she was just getting a selfish ego boost from her ex, nothing more than that. They weren't talking about getting back together, meeting up, or making any plans whatsoever. The whole thing was just a bunch of BS. I agree with everyone here in that it wasn't right for her to do but she didn't imply one single little thing to set the stage for a reunion.

 

I would bring it up eventually maybe after the holidays or something. I mean when she starts hiding her phone, and being places mysteriuosly, etc, then somethings going on. BUT I'm telling you the whole thing between them=NOTHING

[USCGAviator]

Don't do anything yet. Be a good parter to her and just go about your business. But do keep a watchful eye on any changes to the way she acts and keep monitoring the emails.

 

If you blow it up on her now she will definitely start covering her tracks and make it much more difficult for you to investigate

[Distant78]

Dude, tell her now. How much more of this should you take?

[sammyd]

I read the email differently. I think it has the potential to develop into something more, however, i think she's trying to let the guy down, just maybe too gently! It sounds like she'll be breaking off contact anyway.

If it's worrying you that much, i think you will probably have to say something, but maybe try not to go off on one, just say how uncomfortable you'd be about her writing to her ex maybe?

[gizbug]

I've learned long ago (32 years old now) that open communication is KEY to any relationship. Obvisiouly this is missing with your relationship. I am surprised no one brought up this key point. If this bothers you, you should bring it up. Why hide it? If it's nothing, oh well, then move on with or without her. But holding this stuff in is no good.

 

I was in a similar situation in college. I dated a girl 2 years. Got into her email account (after I could tell she was having a disconnect with me) and found a bunch of emails to/from a guy from high school who lived out of state. He made comments like "I wish I could watch you wash your car, with a white tee-shirt on...." and stuff like that. She would respond "Yah, I have a boyfriend, but he wouldn't know...." So I let 3 weeks go by, I printed all these emails, and appeared at her campus house (she was living with 3 other girls).

I had the emails behind my back, walked into her room and said "One more time, is there anything your not telling me that I should know, seeing how we are in a relationship together?" She said "no." Then I tossed the emails at her, and said we are done. Immediately I was the bad guy, for having the emails, but I turned around, walked out, and never looked back. Always go in with evidence, is all I can say.