LoneWolf30 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 So my ex dumped me last Sunday and I initiated the NC since yesterday which was the contact I had with her. So this NC is so damn hard and my mind is going crazy.In my other post I mentioned that I have no one because of her because of her jealously. But now I feel like digging through my phone book and trying to conect with some other girls just to get my mind off my ex. I don't know what it is with the holiday season and all but I just don't want to be alone. Is it too soon to do that or should I go through the greiving process? I'm a moderately confident and good looking guy, I have no issues approaching girls and talking to them. I just end up having no friends anymore because during the 12 years I've been with my ex, she got upset that I didn't spend enugh time with her, or her jealousy of me even talking to other girls. Please help.
dng Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 This might take a while to sink in, but consider it: You are now free of all her mind control techniques and ways. You can do whatever the hell you want because you are single. Do whatever you think will make you happy, then consider the results, re-adjust, and try again.
TaraMaiden Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 If you're looking to replace, and fill a hole, it's too soon, because you're using an excuse, and using another person to make you feel better. Which I guarantee, won't work. If you're looking to enjoy yourself, because you genuinely feel you can offer somebody else a long-term commitment and devote and dedicate yourself to a full-on relationship, right now, with no thought of the ex- - then go for it. I rather suspect, however, the former applies. Which is why it's a disaster waiting to happen.
Author LoneWolf30 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 This might take a while to sink in, but consider it: You are now free of all her mind control techniques and ways. You can do whatever the hell you want because you are single. Do whatever you think will make you happy, then consider the results, re-adjust, and try again. I totally understand what you mean by mind control techniques. Its hard though because after 12 years, she feels like family and feels like I lost a family member.I really want to do what I want and what makes me feel good at the moment, however my conscience is getting the better of me because I don't want to hurt someone else just to make me feel better.
dng Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I wrote about that when I read "12 years". I was (am?) in the same situation. After like 9 years, she more than felt like my family, she WAS my family. There are many things I could have done to make myself feel better and didn't do them because the last thing I wanted was to hurt her. Kind in mind that while you might be seeing things that way, it doesnt mean that she is. In my case, she wasn't. She left you and you are single. Try to clear your conscience and let this sink in: Your actions can hurt you, maybe, but no one else. I'm not telling you what you should or shouldn't do, but I'm telling you that you shouldn't care about anyone but you right now and the reason I'm telling you is that I came to regret not understanding that earlier.
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