samantha_123 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 (edited) Ive been trying to move on its been about two months since me and my ex have been broken up. I know deep down its over and hes never going to want me back. I know that hes moved on so that’s what im trying to do . (He broke me heart I hurt everyday) .I don’t want to be home and feeling sorry for myself on the weekends . Im forcing myself to live the single life I was in relationship since I was 18 till the age of 24.(hes was my first boyfriend) I find myself at the bars drinking and kissing random guys (two so far). Its quite disquieting making out with these guys its like making out with guys from high school who don’t know how to kiss. Im so used to my ex’s kisses which were gentle and closed month. When I wake up in the morning I feel really bad like im going to have a nervous brake down like I cant handle it.( and start thinking about my ex) I don’t get it isn’t that whats the single life is all about? Isnt that what I am supposed to be doing ?Why am I hurting? Hes not. I find myself flirting with guys (some I give my number to) and after I find out that they are interested in me I leave. I stop texting them and then I move on to the next guy. Some I use just to make myself feel better and string them along. Why am I engaging in such behavior? Edited December 16, 2010 by samantha_123
Lauriebell82 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 You are grieving the loss of the relationship and hoping that some random guy will fill the void left by your ex. 2 months is not a lot of time to get over a 6 year serious relationship, especially since he was your first boyfriend. Why not allow yourself the time to grieve? Stop trying to meet guys and live "the single life." You obviously aren't ready for it yet, which is perfectly normal. Do you have girl friends that you can spend time with? Go to the movies, or out to dinner. Avoid bars or clubs where you may be tempted to meet guys. Don't date again until you over 100% over your ex.
DragonSlave49 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I disagree with the idea of spending time alone because I think that information from other people is an important part of getting to know yourself. Working through everything in isolation leads to numbness, imho. Also, the feelings you feel are going to be there regardless of what you do. You should figure out what you want in a guy and try to use the time that you are spending with different men to figure out how much you really like them. Also try pursuing one of your hobbies, or find groups of people (like on meetup.com or maybe through work or school) that you can do activities with. It is always possible for guys (and girls) to be extremely inauthentic. You have to try to see the real person beneath all of their bull****. If you don't like how a guy is kissing you why don't you ask him not to kiss you that way? I personally don't like really aggressive kisses, it feels like my mouth is being searched for contraband
creighton0123 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 A breakup after such a long time together can often be compared to the grief one feels when mourning the death of a loved one. The symptoms, the reactions, and the behavior that results is remarkably similar. Give yourself more time. Please please please do not turn to alcohol, any substances, and be careful with strangers who may take advantage of you. Once you have time to grieve his loss, you may feel as though you don't know who you are. This is natural given that you were dating for such a long time. You'll find that you'll need to rediscover yourself. Don't be in a rush to find someone new... Find yourself and love yourself. Then you'll be ready to love someone else.
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