Yer_Blues Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 i often wonder if i am pretty too. although, i do get approached by both men and women- but i think it is more because i smile a lot and i think i look approachable. but am i pretty? i do not think i am ugly. and i too lost a tremendous amount of weight in my later HS years; i was also teased and picked on ALOT growing up. as i was losing weight i did get more attention from guys, i got my first boyfriend, etc...... and that proved to me that weight matters. unfortunately i do still see my self as that fat girl i used to be, it took me a long time to actuually accept the attention i was recieving might actually be real and not a cruel joke. I relate entirely as I feel I am the male counterpart to this. It's really difficult to build up trust with people because I am always looking for them to have ulterior motives. As the gender supposed to be doing the approaching, it's really difficult. When you always expect and assume rejection will result from an approach, and that's what usually happens, it makes the process really difficult
Feelin Frisky Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I relate entirely as I feel I am the male counterpart to this. It's really difficult to build up trust with people because I am always looking for them to have ulterior motives. As the gender supposed to be doing the approaching, it's really difficult. When you always expect and assume rejection will result from an approach, and that's what usually happens, it makes the process really difficult Yup. This ^.
tinktronik Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I think if you're very attractive you can look in a mirror and tell. You just know. But I would imagine the scale between someone attractive, cute and not so attractive is a much more difficult scale to differentiate. Not to say everybody has days when they don't feel attractive.
laRubiaBonita Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I think if you're very attractive you can look in a mirror and tell. You just know. But I would imagine the scale between someone attractive, cute and not so attractive is a much more difficult scale to differentiate. Not to say everybody has days when they don't feel attractive. but what if your self perception os soo skewed that you cannot see yourself as anything but an ugly person? most people see what they want to see, regardless of the reality.
tigressA Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 (edited) Like LRB, I was picked on mercilessly when I was younger, but not because of my weight. I was just really different-looking from everyone else. My race had a heck of a lot to do with it. IMO it also took me awhile to grow into my looks; I was a really cute kid, but from 11-17 I was pretty awkward. From the time I started college to now, I have had a lot of people telling me how attractive I am. But I really started to see a difference by my senior year of high school. I think a big part of it is who exactly is telling you you're pretty. If you're only hearing it from your family, your parents' friends, etc. and not your peers (like me for a good portion of my life), you end up wondering if they're just being nice. Same if it's only from your girlfriends and not so much from men. Edited December 16, 2010 by tigressA
MJ2 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Everyone has their own opinions on beauty - like who is attractive and who's not... I know this doesn't help u & u know all of this already "/ But, I always hear that guys never approach/hit on the really pretty girls bc they fear rejection. Maybe you give off the unapproachable vibe?
VertexSquared Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I wouldn't mind being PM'd a photo, haha. ... Hmmm, that came across sketchier than I thought!
Mad Max Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 You'll catch people checking you out. I was heavy as a child and teased mercilessly. When I finally overcame that in my teens, I wasn't prepared for the total reversal of being 6'-2, eyes 'o blue and, dare I say it?, hansome. Nobody really came up to me and repaid me for the torture of being a fat child by telling me how good-looking I'd become, but living and being out in the world gave me cues from other people that I had power in my looks. It's a grand thing just know you're not a wart hog. I was in the same position. I wasn't overweight, but I was scrawny and hadn't matured into my looks. I didn't mature into my looks until I was about 20. I have a picture in my album here on LS and I think to myself that had I looked like that in high school, I probably wouldn't have been able to beat the girls off with a stick.
hART Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Symmetry of facial features, proportion of forehead to face, small nose, and clear skin are among signs of physical beauty. Having a healthy BMI and body image is also good. If you are "curvy", then having large hips, a small waist and/or large breasts is also attractive for men, but many are afraid to admit it. Of course, if you are average having emotional stability, intelligence and good relationship skills is also attractive to a wide range of friends and boyfriends. Wouldn't sweat it though, everyone has good and bad qualities.
VertexSquared Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 A lot of it is attitude, too, I think. You can be average/cute and not get hit on if you "look" cold/hard to approach. If you're smiling often, it usually amplifies the "prettiness," so to speak.
Author pandagirl Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 A lot of it is attitude, too, I think. You can be average/cute and not get hit on if you "look" cold/hard to approach. If you're smiling often, it usually amplifies the "prettiness," so to speak. Let's take personality out of this, because let's face it -- when you see someone across a crowded room, you aren't thinking about their sense of humor! But, yes, smiling does make a difference. I'll PM you a photo, Vertex, but then you must destroy the evidence.
laRubiaBonita Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Let's take personality out of this, because let's face it -- when you see someone across a crowded room, you aren't thinking about their sense of humor! But, yes, smiling does make a difference. I'll PM you a photo, Vertex, but then you must destroy the evidence. ha- sooo true! PM a pic too- i think you should get some varied opinions
VertexSquared Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Let's take personality out of this, because let's face it -- when you see someone across a crowded room, you aren't thinking about their sense of humor! But, yes, smiling does make a difference. I'll PM you a photo, Vertex, but then you must destroy the evidence. Sounds fair to me! I don't think personality is irrelevant though. The outward physical indicators (with respect to expression) reflect what's going on inside.
Author pandagirl Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 ha- sooo true! PM a pic too- i think you should get some varied opinions You know, photos don't really do justice to anyone though. It can be a really good photo or a really bad photo. Nothing at all like seeing someone in real life. In fact, people used to say to me: "You look a lot cuter in person than in photos." Errr, thanks? I think... haha.
Author pandagirl Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 Vertex just saw a photo of me and told me I was ugly.
laRubiaBonita Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Vertex just saw a photo of me and told me I was ugly. Case closed then!
Str8noChaser Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Being pretty is such a subjective thing. What's pretty to one person, can be average to unattractive to another. Some people can see the potential in an otherwise average looking person whereas others see what they see. What you can do, if you don't feel you are conventionally pretty, is play up your best one or two facial features. Wear flattering makeup, clothes that suit your personality, fit well, colors look good against your skin. Walk tall. Smile. Be friendly etc. Those simple things can take an otherwise plain jane and shoot her into the stratosphere of "pretty". Hot or Not will otherwise hurt your feelings.
Str8noChaser Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Vertex just saw a photo of me and told me I was ugly. Why are you rolling your eyes? Do you believe that persons opinion? And if you don't, why did you need to PM them your picture?
VertexSquared Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Oh lord, I had to close my eyes after seeing that picture. I am scarred for life.
Author pandagirl Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 Being attracted to someone is so much more than just looks, that's for sure. Inner beauty is no joke. But being attractive is what gets your foot in the door.
tigressA Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 You know, photos don't really do justice to anyone though. It can be a really good photo or a really bad photo. Nothing at all like seeing someone in real life. In fact, people used to say to me: "You look a lot cuter in person than in photos." Errr, thanks? I think... haha. I do wonder sometimes at the difference between how I look in real life compared to how I look in pics--to other people. I've never asked anyone...maybe I should. I have a feeling like I actually look better in pictures than I do in real life. I don't like when people say things like "You're so much better-looking than your picture". Yeah, thanks for the backhanded compliment, it's much appreciated. I make a point to not say things like that.
VertexSquared Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I think it is usually pretty obvious to tell if someone's pretty or not. Whether or not that pretty person is "attractive" is a separate question, in my opinion. Again, if a pretty person isn't getting approached, then that person is either visiting the wrong crowds or is giving off a signal of being unapproachable. Just my 2 cents, though.
Mad Max Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 You know, photos don't really do justice to anyone though. It can be a really good photo or a really bad photo. Nothing at all like seeing someone in real life. In fact, people used to say to me: "You look a lot cuter in person than in photos." Errr, thanks? I think... haha. I get that I'm taller in person. Guess I don't look that tall in pictures.
Author pandagirl Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 Oh lord, I had to close my eyes after seeing that picture. I am scarred for life. And then you threw up a little in your mouth, too.
laRubiaBonita Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I get that I'm taller in person. Guess I don't look that tall in pictures. you look about 5 x 7
Recommended Posts