Goodbye, My Love

[bluryy]

16 Months.

 

We were together for 16 months. I can still recall vividly those days when we held each other's hand as we couldnt believe how we fell in love with each other. From good friends to Lovers, we had too much that's not in common. You always felt that Life is full of uncertainty, insecurity. You had so much uncertainty and insecurity in me. That was when i was younger. Slowly, i changed. I changed to the man that you want to be. A man that could take charge of his finances, a man who stood by his woman when things go wrong. But the more i change, the more you took my change for granted. Expectations arises, and it gets higher and higher and higher. I was changing, simply too fast, too quick for me to handle. I was amazed at how much i have changed as a person, how much i have improved. But you, still feeling that there was so much more that i can improved.

 

What does love consists of? At the age of 21, i was slapped with the reality that financial security is one of the top most priority in woman's mind. It wasnt that i was not working hard enough, it wasnt that i was not willing to work hard. As a student, how much do you expect me to earn? i was working daily, i had classes, and i gave tuition. Was all this not enough to give you assurances at the age of 21? Maybe you felt that you deserve someone better. You felt that given your criteria, you're able to find someone who's a few hundred times better. As a Boyfriend, i have never said no to your requests. I went all the way to your school to hand you your stuff, despite the fact that i will be late for work. You werent touched, at all. As a Boyfriend, i was truthful and honest to you. I wouldnt deny the fact that there were other girls who showed certain level of interest in me, but i kept myself to be faithful. I don't club behind your back, i don't club and dance with other girls when im with you.

 

Yet, simply the fact that im tired blows you off. You get so fired up when i get tired. You get so fired up when i fail to perform up to expectations. I'm your boyfriend. I'm not your slave. You want to break up with me, just because i send text messages during lectures? That's a whole lot of Bull****. Why scrutinize my life? WHY? Why must i be answerable and accountable to you with regards to all my actions? ALL. and i mean ALL. Maybe we are not meant to be, maybe we shouldnt fall in love with each other. You build me up, and you tear me down.

 

Love. How sad it is, that financial security plays such a big part, rather than chemistry, passion, goals in life. You pride yourself in working hard. But you cant cast such great expectations on me, and expect me to make such a huge change within such a short period of time. Who do you expect me to be? And when i do not give you my promises with regards to things, you throw your temper, and throw your tantrum. Respect. How much have you ever respected me in this relationship? You can say things like F*** Off to me, when you dont even curse and swear to your friends. What am i to you? Just a door mat for you to step on and trample on.

 

Right now, i have made a decision. I shall move on with my life. We are not meant to be. Probably, years down the road, you will find a guy who's hundred times better than me. But it doesn't matter. Because since this relationship has got so ugly to the fact that you get so pissed off just because i text in lectures, this relationship is not healthy anymore. There is no point staying in it. As an individual, you're almost perfect. But as a lover, you really hit bottom. Where's your understanding? Where's your trust? Where's your faith? Where's your Love?

 

If only you had been more understanding.

If only you had been more compromising.

If only you learnt to control your temper, and not flare up as and when you like.

If only you came from a family who took great care of you.

If only you could use abit more of your heart, rather then your mind.

 

Goodbye, My Love.

 

Lucas Garcia.

[Capital P]

She was pissed off because you did everything she wanted, all the time.

You had no backbone, no signs of independency, something essential if she wanted you to be the breadwinner

So she dropped you, she was bored.

[bslchump]

I agree with Capital P, but I'd like to get something off my chest.

 

After 6 years of dating, 3 of those being in university, she was totally fine with money. It was never an issue and whatever jobs we had were suitable to our lifestyle. She never once complained about not having enough money or worried I wouldn't get a good enough job.

 

Then when she started talking to the "other" guy who happened to be pre-med, oh boy did her tune change. Suddenly she wasn't sure that I was ambitious enough or if I had enough money and that she didn't WANT to get a job, she wanted to be supported by someone.

 

What a heaping pile of bullsh#t.

 

Sorry, I feel better now

[TaraMaiden]

She was pissed off because you did everything she wanted, all the time.

You had no backbone, no signs of independency, something essential if she wanted you to be the breadwinner

So she dropped you, she was bored.

 

I hope to god he never sent that.....

[bluryy]

But the Sad fact was that she claimed that she's okay with eating bread and drinking water because she's brought up this way.

 

And on the other hand, she talk about how much results matter to her. About earning big bucks and getting good grades. Aren't that contradicting?

[cboy90]

That's like someone saying that they would never go out and buy a hybrid car because it's a useless car. Then the next day they go out and buy one.

 

Same thing happened with me. My ex said that she would never date anyone who was tiny (body frame). And that she wouldn't date anyone who had been previously into drugs or does them.

 

Now her new 'friend' is 5'7" (I'm 6'4" 230lbs, avid gym rat) and weighs about 140lbs. He was a previous drug abuser and dealer as well.

 

Sometimes I just don't understand people.

[bluryy]

Hey cboy90, i'm sorry to hear that. But well it's quite sad, arent it? People like us, trying to prove that love still exist, that we are willing to be there for them when they need us. Yet they shoved us away.

 

Maybe, maybe we should learn to be like jerks.

[cboy90]

Hey cboy90, i'm sorry to hear that. But well it's quite sad, arent it? People like us, trying to prove that love still exist, that we are willing to be there for them when they need us. Yet they shoved us away.

 

Maybe, maybe we should learn to be like jerks.

 

I only wish it were that easy. I couldn't be a jerk to a women if I tried. I at least give them some self respect.

 

Been on 1 date since the ex broke up with me (Nov 1st, NC ever since), the girl I just dated gave me an open invitation to her "tunnel of love" on the first date. I respectfully denied the offer. Had I went through with it, I wouldn't be giving her any respect at all. I'd rather have a loving relationship than a 'friends with benefits' relationship.

 

Besides, the best things in life are the ones you have to fight for. The harder you work at it, the more you appreciate it. I don't want a girl that throws herself at me. I want one that I have to work my ass off for so I can finally have her in my arms. Love is my drug!

 

But sometimes I do think it would be easier to be a jerk.

[bluryy]

Frankly, sometimes i seriously don't understand. I dunno if it applies to you. Like your scenario you have said, you have a new date that's willling to stick by your side. Yet you feel like, you want a girl that you have to fight hard for. Don't you feel that, this by itself is the irony of life?

 

We somehow want things that are not easy to come by. I could have simply drop her, and just go for other girls that are easily avalible, all around me. But yet, she remained the one that i would yearn to have. Is this the case for everyone? By being too easily available, you would never be appreciated?

 

If that is, isn't it sad?

[whichwayisup]

That was some letter..Wow.

 

Two words..High Maitenance!

 

Her loss, not yours!

[wish it was a dream]

Very well written. It's so easy to take someone for granted when they do everything for you. It becomes so routine that you expect it and don't appreciate it. She lost sight of what she really had with you and started dreaming of bigger and better things.

 

You don't realize what you have till it's gone. Maybe one day it will hit her hard what she really did lose when she sees no other guys do for her what you did. But if that time ever comes it will be way in the future and you will have well moved on with your life.

[bluryy]

So Sad but true. Frankly speaking, as a student, as a Tertiary student mind you. I draw a decent amount of pay. Yet to her, it's never enough. I seriously don't dont understand what is enough to her.

 

Perhaps, around her, she sees guys that are so well-to-do and stuff like that. I can moved on. I really can. But i chose not to. I chose to be a man and stay by her side, because of the physical affection that we have had. As a Man, i believe i should very well, be responsible for my actions. Yet to her, i'm still not good enough.

[TaraMaiden]

Tell us you never sent it, then I can rest easy in my bed.

Letters like this are wonderful expressions, but disastrous communications....

[bluryy]

No, i didnt. Because she is afterall a young girl, not knowing what she wants. Still young, not knowing how to handle relationships, i couldnt bear to hurt her.

[pureinheart]

No, i didnt. Because she is afterall a young girl, not knowing what she wants. Still young, not knowing how to handle relationships, i couldnt bear to hurt her.

 

I am really glad you didn't send it...BUT am glad you wrote out and communicated your feelings...now what about the flipside, there are always two sides and IMO are percentages of right/wrong.

 

As much as I can I try to see where I went wrong in the relationship, It helps me to heal faster and being objective is a good thing.

 

Good luck my dear, and I wish you much health and prosperity!

[bluryy]

Thanks so much, my dear. Well, frankly i know what went wrong. i can see it from her point of view, and my point of view.

 

Being brought up from a lower than average family, there's no problem understanding why money seemed to be such a great concern to her. But the problem here is, how hard do you want me to go? I work from monday to friday, i go to school from money to friday, and i do some part-time odd jobs during weekend. How in the hell, am i still not considered to be hardworking? It disses me off.

 

What the hell is wrong with her? How much do you exactly expect me to earn? and when i'm tired, i fall asleep during my class, that is only normal. But to her, she claimed that i had ZERO interest in my studies, and that resulted in me sleeping.

God, unreasonable? i think unreasonable is an understatement.

[Med]

That was some letter..Wow.

 

Her loss, not yours!

 

 

Hear, hear words of wisdom.......