Mindset of guys that have been single for a long time

[dressing up]

I have come to realize that guys that have not been in a relationship for a long time tend to like to act like they are in a relationship with me when we aren't in a relationship. For example, touchy feely or shower more concern than is necessary. Or perhaps they just yearn being in a relationship that they rush into it?

 

How much of that is true? Is it that these guys miss being in a relationship?

[Yer_Blues]

It's a lack of emotional fulfillment and too much time alone that shine through in those situations I think. I don't think it has to be "missing" a relationship so much as just having the natural need for one unfulfilled. I think the effect would apply equally to a lot of people who have never been in significant relationships but would like to be.

[dressing up]

It's a lack of emotional fulfillment and too much time alone that shine through in those situations I think. I don't think it has to be "missing" a relationship so much as just having the natural need for one unfulfilled. I think the effect would apply equally to a lot of people who have never been in significant relationships but would like to be.

 

 

So it's best not to read too much into it in such cases?

[Woggle]

That's funny since most long term single guys I know love it that way. The ones who need a relationship tend to not be single for too long.

[somedude81]

Each guy is different but I have an idea of what you are talking about.

 

I haven't been in a relationship in how many years I don't know, it's been so long.

 

Over the years there were girls that I really liked, that I wanted to be in a relationship with but they didn't feel the same way. When I was with them, they were like my pretend girlfriend. Being touchy feely and showing more concern than with other girls is an OK way to describe how I am with my pretend girlfriends.

 

I think the key thought is, if the guy wants you to be his girlfriend, and you let him be around you, he's going to act like your his girlfriend. The only difference is that there isn't going to anything intimate going on, but that doesn't me he's not thinking about it.

 

Personally I really want to be in a relationship but women aren't attracted to me. So the pretend girlfriends are really the only thing keeping me going.

[Yer_Blues]

So it's best not to read too much into it in such cases?

Not really sure. The problem is that you can't know for sure what the source of this behavior is. It could potentially be a red flag to all kinds of issues, such as Codependency.

 

However, some people just get lonely and pursue harder than they should because they get desperate. Not necessarily a bad thing, because a lot of people in this state try really hard to improve themselves to become more attractive packages. It all comes down to whether or not there are underlying self-worth issues lingering around.

 

Naturally, all of this can't really be figured out without getting taking a chance on someone and getting to know them. So I don't know if analyzing it beforehand is really helpful. I think it might be best just to go with your gut on it on a case-by-case basis with guys like this.

[dressing up]

Each guy is different but I have an idea of what you are talking about.

 

I haven't been in a relationship in how many years I don't know, it's been so long.

 

Over the years there were girls that I really liked, that I wanted to be in a relationship with but they didn't feel the same way. When I was with them, they were like my pretend girlfriend. Being touchy feely and showing more concern than with other girls is an OK way to describe how I am with my pretend girlfriends.

 

I think the key thought is, if the guy wants you to be his girlfriend, and you let him be around you, he's going to act like your his girlfriend. The only difference is that there isn't going to anything intimate going on, but that doesn't me he's not thinking about it.

 

Personally I really want to be in a relationship but women aren't attracted to me. So the pretend girlfriends are really the only thing keeping me going.

 

 

Do you know why they are not interested in you? Is it something you might be able to change?

 

Sometimes I don't think I'm not interested in the guys who act like you. But they are probably shy or don't want a real girlfriend at that time but enjoy my company.

[somedude81]

Do you know why they are not interested in you? Is it something you might be able to change?

As I get older I think I'm starting to understand what is going on. It's pretty complicated and I don't know if it can be changed since it is part of my personality.

Sometimes I don't think I'm not interested in the guys who act like you. But they are probably shy or don't want a real girlfriend at that time but enjoy my company.

I'm confused, you don't think that you are not interested. That doesn't make any sense.

 

As for being shy, kind of but not really. I was shy when I was young but not so any more. Though I do act differently with women than most guys do.

[dressing up]

As I get older I think I'm starting to understand what is going on. It's pretty complicated and I don't know if it can be changed since it is part of my personality.

 

I'm confused, you don't think that you are not interested. That doesn't make any sense.

 

As for being shy, kind of but not really. I was shy when I was young but not so any more. Though I do act differently with women than most guys do.

 

 

I am quite passive so I do not usually respond unless the guys tell me they like me. Then when that happens a lot, I realized the common denominator between them is that these guys have been single for quite a while.

[fishtaco]

Um... everyone is different. I happen to enjoy PDA, maybe that's weird for a guy, but I do. So if I'm on a date, I go for PDA, cuz I like it, plus if she's just stringing me along but really only wants to be friends, I just called her bluff.

 

But after the date is done, it's done. It doesn't mean anything. Hopefully we moved one step closer, but no matter how many steps we take, it equals nothing unless exclusivity is reached. That's pretty much the industry standard rule.

 

So some guys might keep a distance, I'd be all over the woman, but once the date is over they don't mean anything different. It's business as usual.

[dressing up]

Um... everyone is different. I happen to enjoy PDA, maybe that's weird for a guy, but I do. So if I'm on a date, I go for PDA, cuz I like it, plus if she's just stringing me along but really only wants to be friends, I just called her bluff.

 

But after the date is done, it's done. It doesn't mean anything. Hopefully we moved one step closer, but no matter how many steps we take, it equals nothing unless exclusivity is reached. That's pretty much the industry standard rule.

 

So some guys might keep a distance, I'd be all over the woman, but once the date is over they don't mean anything different. It's business as usual.

 

I don't quite understand. So you're saying you like PDA on dates?

 

What I meant was that there are guys that have been single for a while I wasn't even on dates with them but they treat me like we were on a date, with the PDA and all. Does this situation make sense to you?

[fishtaco]

I don't quite understand. So you're saying you like PDA on dates?

 

What I meant was that there are guys that have been single for a while I wasn't even on dates with them but they treat me like we were on a date, with the PDA and all. Does this situation make sense to you?

 

Oh... sorry, I thought you mean men get too touchy feeling on dates. Sorry, my bad, I didn't read your post clearly.

 

Ok, not on dates, then that's not right. They should either quit it, or grow a pair of balls and ask you out.

[dressing up]

Oh... sorry, I thought you mean men get too touchy feeling on dates. Sorry, my bad, I didn't read your post clearly.

 

Ok, not on dates, then that's not right. They should either quit it, or grow a pair of balls and ask you out.

 

 

Therefore my confusion. There are two possibilities I can think of. That they don't currently want a real girlfriend and they just miss the affection or the "manly" things they get to do in a relationship.

[fishtaco]

Therefore my confusion. There are two possibilities I can think of. That they don't currently want a real girlfriend and they just miss the affection or the "manly" things they get to do in a relationship.

 

Usually it's because they like you but are too scared to ask you out.

 

But also there's a second possibility. I know some women that are touchy feely with me. So in that case I return the favor. I figure if they feel it's alright to walk up to me and grab my butt, then they shouldn't mind if I grab theirs. Fair is fair.

 

But this second possibility only makes sense if you initiate or reciprocate the PDA. If the PDA is one way... and you are platonic... then I think that's creepy.

[dressing up]

Usually it's because they like you but are too scared to ask you out.

 

But also there's a second possibility. I know some women that are touchy feely with me. So in that case I return the favor. I figure if they feel it's alright to walk up to me and grab my butt, then they shouldn't mind if I grab theirs. Fair is fair.

 

But this second possibility only makes sense if you initiate or reciprocate the PDA. If the PDA is one way... and you are platonic... then I think that's creepy.

 

It's platonic. I like PDA but almost never initiate it unless I'm in a relationship.

 

I do not think it is creepy with guys I like.

 

I guess I just can't understand what goes on the minds of the guys in my question.

[fishtaco]

It's platonic. I like PDA but almost never initiate it unless I'm in a relationship.

 

I do not think it is creepy with guys I like.

 

I guess I just can't understand what goes on the minds of the guys in my question.

 

Oh.. you like the guy, and you're wondering if the PDA means anything. The answer is... not necessarily. Sorry, when it comes to dating, it's all smoke and mirrors, you can never tell what's really going on.

 

Well, only way to find out... ask. But any time you become the aggressor, be prepared to take a no as an answer.

[dressing up]

Oh.. you like the guy, and you're wondering if the PDA means anything. The answer is... not necessarily. Sorry, when it comes to dating, it's all smoke and mirrors, you can never tell what's really going on.

 

Well, only way to find out... ask. But any time you become the aggressor, be prepared to take a no as an answer.

 

 

No, it is not just with one guy. I've realized this thing about guys that have been single for some time. They tend to be more touchy feely and all.

 

I meant if the guy among those guys is someone I like, I won't mind the PDA.

 

If I feel that all the emotions and PDA are because they have not been in a relationship for a long time, I would not ask. I just feel that dating is difficult enough, there is one more "smokescreen" to battle with.