StrikeFreedom Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I posted my story on here a few years ago. In short... I became friends with a girl in late high school and somehow fell in love with her only to have it end really badly... for me. It's been 5 years since we met and we've stayed in contact somewhat. I met a girl a year and a half ago who I am currently dating and I have to admit she is an amazing girl. She cares for me and has proven that she loves me. She is a rare find... she is also very good looking and is in general a nice well rounded person and I've grown really close to her and believe I love her and she's stated several times she loves me...however. Although I feel like I'm currently dating a girl who is statistically better for me then the girl I loved in high school... I find myself thinking of that girl frequently even after all these years. Sometimes maybe after a few months I give her a call and do some catching up and sometimes we've even hung out together. A lot of the times I yearn for the freedom to be able to try and get closer with this high school love of mine.... I think to myself maybe I should break up with my current GF so I can at least try to satisfy my desires. The only thing about the girl I'm with is that I just don't feel that deep loving sensation that I feel whenever I think of that other girl. I still to this day after 5 years desire and crave that sensation I feel when I think of that other girl... I desire to know what it's like to be intimate with her and try to quench this longing of mine. What should I do? I feel horrible feeling like this without my GF knowing... she really is sweet and innocent and I don't want to hurt her. I would never cheat on her... but I'm wondering that even if I am dating such an amazing girl... maybe she just isn't right for me because of the lack of this feeling I feel for the other girl.
stopthemadness Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I posted my story on here a few years ago. In short... I became friends with a girl in late high school and somehow fell in love with her only to have it end really badly... for me. It's been 5 years since we met and we've stayed in contact somewhat. I met a girl a year and a half ago who I am currently dating and I have to admit she is an amazing girl. She cares for me and has proven that she loves me. She is a rare find... she is also very good looking and is in general a nice well rounded person and I've grown really close to her and believe I love her and she's stated several times she loves me...however. Although I feel like I'm currently dating a girl who is statistically better for me then the girl I loved in high school... I find myself thinking of that girl frequently even after all these years. Sometimes maybe after a few months I give her a call and do some catching up and sometimes we've even hung out together. A lot of the times I yearn for the freedom to be able to try and get closer with this high school love of mine.... I think to myself maybe I should break up with my current GF so I can at least try to satisfy my desires. The only thing about the girl I'm with is that I just don't feel that deep loving sensation that I feel whenever I think of that other girl. I still to this day after 5 years desire and crave that sensation I feel when I think of that other girl... I desire to know what it's like to be intimate with her and try to quench this longing of mine. What should I do? I feel horrible feeling like this without my GF knowing... she really is sweet and innocent and I don't want to hurt her. I would never cheat on her... but I'm wondering that even if I am dating such an amazing girl... maybe she just isn't right for me because of the lack of this feeling I feel for the other girl. Wow!! yea maybe the girl your with isnt the right girl huh? And if thats the case then its not fair to her ya know? But dont do anything rash. Really think about this....you make the wrong move and could end up alone.
GraceNote Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 (edited) You're young and not yet married. I think you should explore the possibility of a relationship with your high school love before it is too late. I am in my late 40's, married for 20 years. I recently connected with an old high school boyfriend on Facebook and those old feelings were reignited with a vengeance. But we are both married and neither of us want to have an affair, so it is too late for us. But it has been a VERY, VERY painful experience. The longing and desire that can never be satisfied. How hard it is to feel happy and content again in our marriages. Don't end up like me 30 years from now. It's not too late for you. Edited December 16, 2010 by GraceNote
Author StrikeFreedom Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 The thing is... the girl I'm with would be a better mother, a better wife, and overall a better supporting figure in a relationship that the girl from high school. The high school in my opinion has a lot of qualities that are I believe impracticable for marriage and for depending upon emotionally. However I just feel I personally am being robbed from my emotions and desires. Everyone in my family has a agreed it's very hard now a days to find a nice trusting girl like the one I'm with, and have told me to appreciate her as best I can. Don't get me wrong I do appreciate my current gf and I do love her and have enjoyed our time together... but whatever it is I feel for that other girl... whatever that amazing feeling is... I only feel it for her.
GraceNote Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 but whatever it is I feel for that other girl... whatever that amazing feeling is... I only feel it for her. That amazing feeling... That is what I had with my old love. And it has never been replicated with my husband. I do love my husband. We are pretty good friends, good partners and we have made a good life together. Raised a family. But I honestly believe that I would throw it all away to be with my old love, to once again experience that "amazing feeling". I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Your current GF may indeed be better for you. But it doesn't sound like you are able to give your whole heart and soul to her. Is that fair to her? Or to yourself? Not that long ago, if you were my son, I would have advised you to stay with your current GF and forget about high school girl. I would have told you that the positive qualities you described in your GF were more important in building a successful marriage than that elusive "amazing feeling". Now I know that life is too short to spend it devoid of passion. If I had it to do over again I would follow my heart instead of my head. Best wishes to you. I wish you much happiness whatever you decide.
GraceNote Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Just one more thing. Please don't make any major life decisions based on the advice of a stranger on the internet. I will be the first to admit that I may be suffering from a major mid-life crisis, and thus probably not in the best frame of mind to be giving advice to a young person such as yourself. The best thing for you to do would be to seek the advice of a professional counselor. Again... Best wishes.
Floridaman Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) You're young and not yet married. I think you should explore the possibility of a relationship with your high school love before it is too late. I am in my late 40's, married for 20 years. I recently connected with an old high school boyfriend on Facebook and those old feelings were reignited with a vengeance. But we are both married and neither of us want to have an affair, so it is too late for us. But it has been a VERY, VERY painful experience. The longing and desire that can never be satisfied. How hard it is to feel happy and content again in our marriages. Don't end up like me 30 years from now. It's not too late for you. J I will be the first to admit that I may be suffering from a major mid-life crisis, and thus probably not in the best frame of mind to be giving advice to a young person such as yourself. Grace, I know how you feel. I'm in my late 40s as well - 48 soon to be 49. Though I love my wife, who I met at 30... over the last couple of years, I've been intensely thinking about former girlfriends from college and in my late 20s. I've looked up many online and seen their facebook pages and pics of their hubbys and kids. Some I can only remember their first names. I wasn't sexual with most, though some I did a lot of "everything....but" ( which is darn close to insertion!!! ) so that "non-sex" still gets you connected and hurts after they dump you. I assume you've been thinking of old BFs as well... and like me... wondering why you didn't do this, why you couldn't have said that, taken him/her to better places on dates, known more about relationships at the time or changed your political and other opinions so you could have married that 30 y.o. virgin when I was 26.... or where would you now be if it hadn't ended.... In dreams, I occaisionally meet one then wonder what I'd say... or cry that I had lost what could have been a life partner... Reality strikes when I remind myself the decision to end was never mine... Like you, I may be suffering a small mid-life crisis. I want to apologize to the girl in HS I pressed for sex... it was awful and we both felt guilty... I do love my wife but long for more sex, like once a week at least.... Edited January 3, 2011 by Floridaman
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