Myer's Briggs and Your Relationship History

[the_dynamo]

I am INTJ, but only slightly I! I mingle with people a good lot, but I have noticed that some question my sincerity, which is justified when someone's in need of support, I kinda fake sympathy.

[MrNate]

ENTJ here. Shout out to the INTP and ISTP's:love:

[GolferGirl123]

I am ISTJ: slightly I; distinctively S; distinctively T; very J

 

SO is ENFP: distinctively E; moderately I; moderately F; very P

 

Can't really say for others that I have dated, as if they had taken this test, I don't recall their results. I can see how some of the disagreements or issues we have relate to our different POVs on things.

 

 

 

I thought this would be fun.

 

I am surprised by how scarily accurate this test tends to be, not just in terms of describing individuals but also relationship dynamics.

 

What is your personality type? What type are you most drawn to in a mate? What were the personalities of the different people you've been with (chronological would make it even more interesting, so we can see if there is a progression).

 

I'll start. At various points I had about half of the guys I dated take the test .

 

I am INTP, with only slightly expressed "T."

 

I am most often attracted to guys who are ENTJ's with weakly expressed "E." Wiki article describes this type as

self-driven, motivating, energetic, assertive, confident, and competitive. They generally take a big-picture view and build a long-term strategy. They typically know what they want and may mobilize others to help them attain their goals. ENTJs are often sought out as leaders due to an innate ability to direct groups of people. Unusually influential and organized, they may sometimes judge others by their own tough standards, failing to take personal needs into account.

 

I find it's hardest for me to feel attracted to guys who don't have the NT combo in particular. Unfortunately, these men are also often cold to the bone.

 

My relationship history. This excludes people I dated just a few times, so I never really got to know.

 

first "fwb" -- ESFJ (He was really into me, I didn't feel the same. He wasn't enough of a "thinker" for me and a bit too mushy.)

first boyfriend -- INFP (We got on great, but he was a bit too mushy. I broke up with him after two years. He is still my best friend. He understands me better than almost anyone.)

second "fwb" -- INTJ (He wanted a relationship, I didn't and strung him along for awhile until he finally dumped me. He was really selfish.)

second boyfriend -- INFP (Mutual break up after 6 months. He turned out to be really fcked up and confused. He was self-aborbed, annoying and a huge drama queen. Don't miss him.)

third boyfriend -- ENFP (We were together for three years. I cheated on him, and then I let our drama filled relationship die slowly for the next two years. He tells me he scored as this, but I think he's really a ENTP. He's definitely not a feeler.)

fourth boyfriend -- ESFJ (We had like nothing in common. I was always disturbed by his lack of reflectiveness. He was also "weak" and unmasculine. Dumped me out of the blue after four months.)

third fwb -- ENTJ (I really, really liked him, but he didn't want a relationship because he was confused and emotionally fcked -- his words. He would have been perfect had it not been for the fact that he was selfish and emotionally immature. But I think our "NT" connection really worked well, and was what hooked me in.

 

Looking at my relationship history, 5/7 were N's, 5/7 were F's, 4/7 were E's, and 4/7 were J's.

 

-I do consistently better with N's. With S's I tend to get bored in conversation and lose respect.

 

-E/I doesn't seem to have much effect in terms of failure/success rate for me.

 

-With "F"s I tend to lose respect and get put off by their mushiness, but T's tend to frustrate and hurt me with their selfishness. I guess the key is to find somebody who is in between on this parameter, like me.

 

-P's I tend to relate better to, but can get frustrated by their irresponsibility. J's tend to annoy me with their rigidity. *shrug*

 

Imo, I'd do best with a slight E, strong N, very slight T, slight J.

[sumdude]

I'm an ENFP. There's a lot of gray area to these things but from what I've read over the weekend I fit the profile pretty well.

 

Extroverted (E) 61.11% Introverted (I) 38.89%

Intuitive (N) 64.52% Sensing (S) 35.48%

Feeling (F) 58.82% Thinking (T) 41.18%

Perceiving (P) 63.89% Judging (J) 36.11%

 

I've found that Men with a strong F confuse women who generally expect men to be more T. I'm no wimp but the way I'm more emotional and talk about things makes a lot of women go

Maybe we're the proverbial 'nice guys', so be it. I'm not changing for anyone. Reality is I'm forgiving, easygoing and like to treat people well. Sometimes it gets taken advantage of but don't back me up against a wall.

 

 

One thing about ESFP's from the forums I've checked out is that ESFP men can also be a bit shy at first. Once we feel comfortable and open up then we'll talk your ears off. I think it's because growing up surrounded by other ST men we would get some weird looks and didn't quite fit in so I learned to hide my F so to speak. I'm pretty close to the midline between F and T so I can easily switch into the T thing. Which is where my mechanical and technical abilities are. But at heart I'm a musician/artist. As far as having poor Judgment.. LOL but I've gotten a lot better at that as I've grown.

 

I'm not sure but to hazard a guess that my ex wife was ENFJ. But she also had a rough upbringing and was pretty unbalanced. When things were good they were awesome but when they were bad.... well down in flames we went.

 

Recent Ex girlfriend is ESFJ all the way. She's a performer. I can get into the S thing on stage but it's not nearly as comfortable for me as it is for her. We can have so much fun together and talk all night. She can also keep up with me on the social/going out angle. But we also have a fair amount of friction and communication difficulties at times.

 

But one thing I noticed with both women is that our E sides would knock heads and compete sometimes. Trying to get a word in edgewise or have someone speaking for me or over me would eventually get on my last nerve.

So I'm thinking I should realign my woman targeting system and check out some of the more quiet girls . Maybe that would work better.

Edited December 17, 2010 by sumdude

[sweetjasmine]

I used to be a strong INTP, but these days I get a different result every time I take one of these tests because I can say both yes/no, accurate/inaccurate to a lot of different questions, particularly the ones about abstract thinking vs. concrete thinking, theoretical concepts vs. practical examples. What I prefer depends on the context, and I'm comfortable with both. Can't figure out whether this means I have multiple personalities or none.

 

I just took two different tests and got:

 

INFJ -- slightly I; moderately N, F; distinctively J

 

and

 

ISTJ -- Introverted (I) 51.52% Extroverted (E) 48.48%

Sensing (S) 52.78% Intuitive (N) 47.22%

Thinking (T) 61.11% Feeling (F) 38.89%

Judging (J) 66.67% Perceiving (P) 33.33%

 

If I remember correctly, the men I've had relationships with have all been INTJ/INTPs. My SO is some kind of NT but he might be slightly Extroverted. I don't remember exactly.

 

I get along with most other personality types, though the strongly extroverted types sometimes get on my nerves. I get along well with INTPs and INTJs.

[northern_sky]

One of my cats is a ESFP. The other is a ISFJ.

[kdark]

Stop dating acronyms and start dating individuals.

[Els]

Stop dating acronyms and start dating individuals.

 

I would agree with this in principle. However, when the bf and I took the test, I was astounded as to how much insight it provided into each of our personalities. Being put into words helped me understand his weaknesses, strengths, and responses better, at the very least. It was already there; I was just struggling with it because I couldn't see it from a third-person, psychological POV.

[Kamille]

Interesting. I just took a test and I'm INFJ. The various descriptions I read fit me to a T, down to my need for space and my inability to express this need in assertive ways!

 

I have no idea what bf is, but maybe I'll ask him to do the test. I'll certainly share my results with him... Maybe he'll understand my need for space better!

[northern_sky]

Interesting. I just took a test and I'm INFJ. The various descriptions I read fit me to a T, down to my need for space and my inability to express this need in assertive ways!

 

I have no idea what bf is, but maybe I'll ask him to do the test. I'll certainly share my results with him... Maybe he'll understand my need for space better!

 

Haha, I had my mom take the test and she also scored INFJ, "the counselor" and she is a therapist. Plus it's interesting because I've thought before that your personality reminds me a lot of hers.

 

Like you, my mom treasures her alone time and yet is always in the position of giving to others because people see her as a great listener.

[threebyfate]

It matters. H and I are identical T-types but I'm not going to post what it is and haven't done so on LS. A friend of a friend gave us the professional version of the test and typed us accordingly. That's probably why it's so easy for us to understand each other.

 

Looking back at past relationships, all T-types but not the same. F-men aren't my style not that there's anything wrong with them. It's the ability to relate or not, as an extreme T-type.

 

Don't think you need identical types to make it work. Depends on your underlying personality to the dichotomous overlay.

[pandagirl]

I have always tested as an INFP/J.

 

I don't know about all my ex's. I know one was also an INFP, and that did not work out, but I think my last ex was at least definitely a "T" type.

[sumdude]

It matters. H and I are identical T-types but I'm not going to post what it is and haven't done so on LS. A friend of a friend gave us the professional version of the test and typed us accordingly. That's probably why it's so easy for us to understand each other.

 

Looking back at past relationships, all T-types but not the same. F-men aren't my style not that there's anything wrong with them. It's the ability to relate or not, as an extreme T-type.

 

Don't think you need identical types to make it work. Depends on your underlying personality to the dichotomous overlay.

 

There's a lot of differing opinions on the best matches. Most consensus is that the best relationships often have matching S/N and T/F and opposing I/E and P/J. Or opposites attract. If both have the same type well that could work but I think I would gain something in life from someone with better skills where I'm weaker.

 

One thing I do know, keep me away from the ESTJ's. I do not need nor want a boss.

 

Hmmm. hazarding a guess TBF you're probably a J. Wonder why you're so reticent to share?

[threebyfate]

There's a lot of differing opinions on the best matches. Most consensus is that the best relationships often have matching S/N and T/F and opposing I/E and P/J. Or opposites attract. If both have the same type well that could work but I think I would gain something in life from someone with better skills where I'm weaker.

 

One thing I do know, keep me away from the ESTJ's. I do not need nor want a boss.

 

Hmmm. hazarding a guess TBF you're probably a J. Wonder why you're so reticent to share?

I don't think there's a better or worse. Mileage will vary per individual.

 

In my opinion, LS isn't the best place for me to divulge information like this. But for certain, I'm not an ESTJ!

Edited December 18, 2010 by threebyfate

[OceanGirl]

My best guess:

 

TBF is INTJ

[EasyHeart]

Just curious... do you guys have any trouble with this? I don't have time to take the test again, but I took it a few times in the past, getting INTP with one occasion of INFP. Very strong I, moderate N and P, borderline T/F.

 

Just tested myself today.

 

Introverted 78

Intuitive 88

Feeling 12

Perceiving 11

 

I honestly think the test could be improved by allowing a spectrum of answers as opposed to just a binary choice. There are several questions that I would rate myself exactly in the middle if I could. As it stands, each time I answer I find myself just choosing one or the other randomly.

 

Each of the 4 letters is really a scale. Some people may be very strongly N, for instance, but right on the borderline between E and I (I just described myself, btw). If you're near the edge in one of the categories, then you may have characteristics of more than one type. For instance, I'm very strongly N, T and J, but only mildly I. So I'm an INTJ, but also have some ENTJ tendencies.

 

Don't confuse these internet tests with the real thing. If you took a real MBTI, it would take several hours and have over 1000 questions. It would be impossible to score a test like this if it weren't multiple choice, so don't agonize over every question. If you answer 200-300 questions designed to determine whether you are T or F, your answer to any single question is not going to matter much. In fact, you would be pretty unusual if you answered every one of those questions with the "T" answer. But if you answer 200/250 questions as a "T", then there's a high probability that you are a "T".

[EasyHeart]

I'm INTJ/ENTJ. I don't know what all my exes were, but:

 

An ESFP broke my heart.

 

ESFJs are fascists.

 

NFs are either totally awesome or totally wacko.

 

As a type, ENTJs have a low regard for people who refuse to engage them or are intimidated by them, and high regard for those who stand up to them and challenge them intellectually, emotionally, or any other way. The problem of intimidation is intensified by the ENTJs' arrogance, which is often so much a part of them that they are unaware of its existence. Those around them are usually keenly aware of it.

Wait. Are you saying this is a bad thing??

 

Whoops.

[northern_sky]

My best guess:

 

TBF is INTJ

 

Yeah, I believe TBF is a INTJ or ENTJ, but borderline on I/E...if I had to hazard a guess. But I suppose it will remain a mystery.

[underpants]

According to the test, I'm AWSM

[Star Gazer]

I thought this would be fun.

 

I am surprised by how scarily accurate this test tends to be, not just in terms of describing individuals but also relationship dynamics.

 

What is your personality type? What type are you most drawn to in a mate? What were the personalities of the different people you've been with (chronological would make it even more interesting, so we can see if there is a progression).

 

I'll start. At various points I had about half of the guys I dated take the test .

 

I am INTP, with only slightly expressed "T."

 

I am most often attracted to guys who are ENTJ's with weakly expressed "E." Wiki article describes this type as

self-driven, motivating, energetic, assertive, confident, and competitive. They generally take a big-picture view and build a long-term strategy. They typically know what they want and may mobilize others to help them attain their goals. ENTJs are often sought out as leaders due to an innate ability to direct groups of people. Unusually influential and organized, they may sometimes judge others by their own tough standards, failing to take personal needs into account.

 

I find it's hardest for me to feel attracted to guys who don't have the NT combo in particular. Unfortunately, these men are also often cold to the bone.

-I do consistently better with N's. With S's I tend to get bored in conversation and lose respect.

 

-E/I doesn't seem to have much effect in terms of failure/success rate for me.

 

-With "F"s I tend to lose respect and get put off by their mushiness, but T's tend to frustrate and hurt me with their selfishness. I guess the key is to find somebody who is in between on this parameter, like me.

 

-P's I tend to relate better to, but can get frustrated by their irresponsibility. J's tend to annoy me with their rigidity. *shrug*

 

Imo, I'd do best with a slight E, strong N, very slight T, slight J.

 

At least you're consistent in your evaluation! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2888560&postcount=6

 

But check out this thread and the article TBF posted: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t237923/

 

I'm tending to agree that you'd do best with someone who's LIKE you, not someone who's so different... Thus, an INTP, not an ENTJ.

Edited December 18, 2010 by Star Gazer

[threebyfate]

northern sky and OG, not gonna' say.

[OceanGirl]

northern sky and OG, not gonna' say.

 

 

Heh fair enough. I agree on I/E sky but I somehow feel that TBF is more of an introvert at heart.

[Star Gazer]

Heh fair enough. I agree on I/E sky but I somehow feel that TBF is more of an introvert at heart.

 

I think TBF and her H only differ in the I and E, with TBF being the I and her social butterfly H being the E. Everything after that is the same.

[threebyfate]

The only "Duh" part I'll admit to is T.

[northern_sky]

At least you're consistent in your evaluation! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2888560&postcount=6

 

But check out this thread and the article TBF posted: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t237923/

 

I'm tending to agree that you'd do best with someone who's LIKE you, not someone who's so different... Thus, an INTP, not an ENTJ.

 

I wrote that post awhile ago, before I had a clear sense for the difference between F and T or N and S. I didn't realize until I read more about the parameters, that they don't mean literally what you would think. Knowing I am myself a T, I don't think I could handle a guy who was mushier than I am. The other parameters I still feel the same about. Borderline E/I and borderline J/P.

 

An ENTJ with borderline E/J isn't so different. I dunno, I prefer ENTJ's because they pull me out of my shell a bit. I think I"d probably also work well with a INTJ. I dated a INTP and we clashed. My dad is a INTP and I'd be miserable with someone like him. We already have a bad relationship. I remember reading that people do well with those who share two of their traits.

Edited December 18, 2010 by northern_sky