Myer's Briggs and Your Relationship History

[northern_sky]

I thought this would be fun.

 

I am surprised by how scarily accurate this test tends to be, not just in terms of describing individuals but also relationship dynamics.

 

What is your personality type? What type are you most drawn to in a mate? What were the personalities of the different people you've been with (chronological would make it even more interesting, so we can see if there is a progression).

 

I'll start. At various points I had about half of the guys I dated take the test .

 

I am INTP, with only slightly expressed "T."

 

I am most often attracted to guys who are ENTJ's with weakly expressed "E." Wiki article describes this type as

self-driven, motivating, energetic, assertive, confident, and competitive. They generally take a big-picture view and build a long-term strategy. They typically know what they want and may mobilize others to help them attain their goals. ENTJs are often sought out as leaders due to an innate ability to direct groups of people. Unusually influential and organized, they may sometimes judge others by their own tough standards, failing to take personal needs into account.

 

I find it's hardest for me to feel attracted to guys who don't have the NT combo in particular. Unfortunately, these men are also often cold to the bone.

 

My relationship history. This excludes people I dated just a few times, so I never really got to know.

 

first "fwb" -- ESFJ (He was really into me, I didn't feel the same. He wasn't enough of a "thinker" for me and a bit too mushy.)

first boyfriend -- INFP (We got on great, but he was a bit too mushy. I broke up with him after two years. He is still my best friend. He understands me better than almost anyone.)

second "fwb" -- INTJ (He wanted a relationship, I didn't and strung him along for awhile until he finally dumped me. He was really selfish.)

second boyfriend -- INFP (Mutual break up after 6 months. He turned out to be really fcked up and confused. He was self-aborbed, annoying and a huge drama queen. Don't miss him.)

third boyfriend -- ENFP (We were together for three years. I cheated on him, and then I let our drama filled relationship die slowly for the next two years. He tells me he scored as this, but I think he's really a ENTP. He's definitely not a feeler.)

fourth boyfriend -- ESFJ (We had like nothing in common. I was always disturbed by his lack of reflectiveness. He was also "weak" and unmasculine. Dumped me out of the blue after four months.)

third fwb -- ENTJ (I really, really liked him, but he didn't want a relationship because he was confused and emotionally fcked -- his words. He would have been perfect had it not been for the fact that he was selfish and emotionally immature. But I think our "NT" connection really worked well, and was what hooked me in.

 

Looking at my relationship history, 5/7 were N's, 5/7 were F's, 4/7 were E's, and 4/7 were J's.

 

-I do consistently better with N's. With S's I tend to get bored in conversation and lose respect.

 

-E/I doesn't seem to have much effect in terms of failure/success rate for me.

 

-With "F"s I tend to lose respect and get put off by their mushiness, but T's tend to frustrate and hurt me with their selfishness. I guess the key is to find somebody who is in between on this parameter, like me.

 

-P's I tend to relate better to, but can get frustrated by their irresponsibility. J's tend to annoy me with their rigidity. *shrug*

 

Imo, I'd do best with a slight E, strong N, very slight T, slight J.

Edited December 16, 2010 by northern_sky

[KraftDinner]

I am also INTP.

 

Best guesses:

 

Highschool boyfriend: ENFP

College boyfriend: ENFP

Ex-husband: ISTJ

Current boyfriend: ENFJ/P

[Star Gazer]

Shadow/Sky, how do you know what your ex's were? I don't think any of us are really in a place to qualify others beyond E and I.

[northern_sky]

Shadow/Sky, how do you know what your ex's were? I don't think any of us are really in a place to qualify others beyond E and I.

 

I had most of them take the test (being a psych major ) -- the last guy I dated + all of my actual ex-boyfriends. The only ones I guessed on were two fwbs.

Edited December 16, 2010 by northern_sky

[northern_sky]

When I took the test a few weeks ago:

 

 

I--> 44

Sensing--> 31

Feeling--> 62

Judging--> 44

 

He took the test just now:

 

Introverted 44

Intuitive 38

Thinking 12

Judging 33

 

Those NTJ guys are pretty dreamy, if a bit cold.

[Knittress]

For all it's slight quackery in assigning types to others, it DOES describe how we see them, which I think is valid. I am a massive INFP - but I'm fairly borderline in all but P. I am a sloppy, openminded spazz above all else.

 

First BF, INFP: We were both crazy and it was bad drama. BAD. We've gotten over all that, and now I refer to him as 'the whiny b*tch." Totally not attracted to him, but he still tries to get with me from time to time.

 

ISFJ: Dumb and a bit of a sociopath, but I didn't care. I just needed someone to take care of me because my life was crap. We still talk, but then he made some creepy remarks that have put him on my block list. For now.

 

INFP: Because of his brainy aloofness you'd think he was a T-type, until you got to know him and realized that his entire core was centered around his ideals regarding animal welfare and pure science. I fell for him, but he didn't love me back. I went crazy. It was drama. Bad drama.

 

ENTJ: Bad, news. For some reason I mistook his coldness and extroversion as a rejection of me. I didn't value myself enough to realize that my happiness was worth more than 'winning' him.

 

INFJ: We clicked instantly and spent several disgustingly happy years together. In the end he turned out to be something of a passive-aggressive sissy that I couldn't stand being around until he suddenly left and went totally no-contact. I may never forgive him, but I'll always love him.

 

ENFP: My new guy (which is unfortunately temporary due to reasons beyond my control), is much more social than myself but still possesses the 'nerdy sweetheart' qualities I need in a partner. We are also disgusting together, and I appreciate the fact that he drags me out of my shell and isn't as needy as my ex.

[northern_sky]

my score:

 

Strength of the preferences %

Introverted -- 33 %

Intuitive -- 75 %

Thinking --12 %

Perceiving -- 33 %

[Alma Mobley]

I am an INTJ.

 

I can only speak for my last three relationships, including the current one, since those are the three who took the test.

 

INTP: We really had nothing in common and I don't do well with another Introvert -- I am better complemented with an E. I also found him boring. I'm not sure if he was truly INTP but that is how he tested.

 

ESFP: Sigh. What can I say about this one? This was one of the most fun relationships at times but also one of the most painful. I would say this is pretty accurate in describing what my ESFP was like in relationships.

 

ENFP: (current relationship) This is the best of the three. We complement each other well and have stimulating conversations. This relationship lacks the boredom of the first and the drama of the second.

[northern_sky]

Am I the only woman here who is consistently turned off by "F" guys? Even though I know I probably would be better off with a "F" guy, I can't seem to respect them as mates, because I think of "F" as a more feminine trait. I feel like "F" guys tend to be kind of wimpy. Yet they make great friends. Most of my friends are "F's."

[northern_sky]

I linked it to my boyfriend and he is still talking about it. He thought it was funny that they had assigned fictional characters to his personality type.

 

 

 

Wow, I am surprised your introverted % is lower than mine. Your intuitiveness is very high, you must be incredibly logical irl (assuming this is correct )

 

Yeah, I'm shy, but not a loner at heart. I'm not somebody who craves a lot of alone time. I prefer to be around people and feel happiest in the company of others, but my awkwardness makes that hard. When I get to know people better, I am more of an E, and tend to be somewhat dominant even. This often surprises people.

 

I'm very analytical and tend to express my conclusions/opinions whether or not it's tactful to do so. I am more of an idea/concept person over a detail person. I value reason and truth-seeking far more than emotion. That said, when it comes to my personal choices I am also impulsive and often act on emotion even when I know it's a mistake.

[Knittress]

Am I the only woman here who is consistently turned off by "F" guys? Even though I know I probably would be better off with a "F" guy, I can't seem to respect them as mates, because I think of "F" as a more feminine trait. I feel like "F" guys tend to be kind of wimpy. Yet they make great friends. Most of my friends are "F's."

 

Kinda agree with you, kinda don't. LOTS of guys I've been involved with were wimpy and annoying, and also Fs. In fact I used to prefer this when I was younger because I was frightened of masculine energy. Now, yes... timidity = gag. I think a lot of F-guys (and girls, actually) are wimpy when they're younger but they do grow a spine eventually.

 

I just know that I'm desperately unhappy with anyone who isn't as affectionate as I am. I must be cuddled and affirmed, even if I like my space as well. F-guys are good at that, and when they grow up seem to possess many of the better masculine instincts - such as the desire to protect and provide for loved ones.

[northern_sky]

Wow, this describes the last guy I dated to a T:

 

As a type, ENTJs have a low regard for people who refuse to engage them or are intimidated by them, and high regard for those who stand up to them and challenge them intellectually, emotionally, or any other way. The problem of intimidation is intensified by the ENTJs' arrogance, which is often so much a part of them that they are unaware of its existence. Those around them are usually keenly aware of it.

[Alma Mobley]

Am I the only woman here who is consistently turned off by "F" guys? Even though I know I probably would be better off with a "F" guy, I can't seem to respect them as mates, because I think of "F" as a more feminine trait. I feel like "F" guys tend to be kind of wimpy. Yet they make great friends. Most of my friends are "F's."

 

It's possible that maybe wimpy guys tend to be F's, but it doesn't really follow that all male F's are wimpy. My husband is an ENFP, and he is quite masculine. He's also an artist and musician. Our fights, however, due to that F, tend to be operatic at times.

[Knittress]

I don't think I would be much into F guys as well. I think I actively seek out more logical people. Both my current SO and my ex have their degrees in physics. I was with the artsy-fartsy, soul inspiring, Joyce reading, 400 Blows watching men in my teens to early 20s. I have decided that there is only enough room in a relationship for one pretentious art house lover and that's me.

 

My F-guy is an astrophysicist!

Though to be fair, he can also paint...

[TheBigQuestion]

I'm an ENTJ but unfortunately I have no idea what any of my exes/hook-ups are.

 

So apparently I'm cold and arrogant. Awesome!

[elaina]

Am I the only woman here who is consistently turned off by "F" guys? Even though I know I probably would be better off with a "F" guy, I can't seem to respect them as mates, because I think of "F" as a more feminine trait. I feel like "F" guys tend to be kind of wimpy. Yet they make great friends. Most of my friends are "F's."

 

It's been a long time since I took that personality test, but I'm an INFP, and for some reason, I always like guys who are not F's. Why, I don't really know. I don't necessarily think it's a feminine trait, but maybe it is more a trait that's associated with caring and nurturing. My Mom thinks I have a Cinderella complex though, cause I always like bad boys for some reason and then hope he will magically become a knight in shining armor gentleman lol. Weird I know. Oh, I also am attracted to Es. Most of my friends are Es, both male and female, cause they seem to draw me out of myself I's are cool too, but it seems I'm always attracted to opposite of me... reading through the personality types now, I do like the sound of the ENFP though, in spite of the "F"

Edited December 16, 2010 by elaina

[sagetalk]

Those NTJ guys are pretty dreamy, if a bit cold.

 

I'm an INTJ and a guy. People have told me that I come off cold, but that I'm one of the kindest people they know. Many people don't take the time to get to know people, judge too quickly, and INTJ's suffer the most from this. I think INTJ's take the longest to really understand, and many other types are better at pretending or masking who they really are just to be accepted. Many people that seem to be friendly are just putting up a social front. I rarely if ever put on a front. What you see is what you get.

 

For the girl's I've dated/"hung out with", I'd say INTP, ENTP, and ESFP are my favorites. INTP's and ENTP's are intelligent, not fun obsessed, and reliable, I find that very attractive.

 

ESFP's are addictive, but they just seem too dangerous to me. Their recklessness scares me too much, and makes me question a LTR with them. But boy do I love being around them (they usually like me as well oddly enough).

[tigressA]

I've gotten several different results for this Myers-Briggs thing--ISFP, ENFP, and ENFJ, so who knows what the heck I really am. Having read descriptions for them though, I feel closest to ISFP.

 

As far as relationship history, I can't really comment as I've never had any of my partners take the test. I did take a test on OKCupid telling me what my ideal personality type is for me, and got ISFJ.

[Cee]

My most significant and greatest love was an INTP. Same type as the OP.

 

My biggest disaster was my ex husband who was an ESFP. Because I'm an INFJ, we are opposite types. He swept me off my feet initially, but we were completely incompatible. He did the Myers-Briggs after we were married and my unhappiness made more sense after that.

[Mad Max]

second "fwb" -- INTJ (He wanted a relationship, I didn't and strung him along for awhile until he finally dumped me. He was really selfish.)

 

 

You strung him along and he was the selfish one???

[Els]

When I took the test a few weeks ago:

 

 

I--> 44

Sensing--> 31

Feeling--> 62

Judging--> 44

 

He took the test just now:

 

Introverted 44

Intuitive 38

Thinking 12

Judging 33

 

Just curious... do you guys have any trouble with this? I don't have time to take the test again, but I took it a few times in the past, getting INTP with one occasion of INFP. Very strong I, moderate N and P, borderline T/F.

 

Bf is INTJ.. I do notice some friction caused by his J opposed to my P, and also his strong T opposed to my borderline T/F.

 

Ex was ISTP. Not a good fit.

 

This thread intrigues me, though, so I'll probably ask ex-ex for his someday

[Star Gazer]

Am I the only woman here who is consistently turned off by "F" guys? Even though I know I probably would be better off with a "F" guy, I can't seem to respect them as mates, because I think of "F" as a more feminine trait. I feel like "F" guys tend to be kind of wimpy. Yet they make great friends. Most of my friends are "F's."

 

I don't think it's appropriate to describe someone as an "F" or as any other specific individual letter. There's a reason why the test describes people as 4-letter combinations.

[Els]

Just curious... do you guys have any trouble with this? I don't have time to take the test again, but I took it a few times in the past, getting INTP with one occasion of INFP. Very strong I, moderate N and P, borderline T/F.

 

Bf is INTJ.. I do notice some friction caused by his J opposed to my P, and also his strong T opposed to my borderline T/F.

 

Ex was ISTP. Not a good fit.

 

This thread intrigues me, though, so I'll probably ask ex-ex for his someday

 

Just tested myself today.

 

Introverted 78

Intuitive 88

Feeling 12

Perceiving 11

 

I honestly think the test could be improved by allowing a spectrum of answers as opposed to just a binary choice. There are several questions that I would rate myself exactly in the middle if I could. As it stands, each time I answer I find myself just choosing one or the other randomly.

[OceanGirl]

Few points:

 

Myer-Briggs doesn't measure your "sanity". Someone in another thread thought it did.

 

I kind of have trouble seeing Shadow as T. I dunno, she is extremely analytical and smart but her emotions rule her over logic. Ts are people who are mostly logical/cool headed rather than emotional. I could be wrong though.

 

My prospective (INFP):

 

I get along best with other Ns. We have the same way of thinking.

I don't get along with Ss at all. As friends or lovers.

Strongly expressed Js are way too anal and annoying to me.

All my friends are Es. I prefer lively people and they draw out the fun side of me. I am only mild introvert though (6%).

I like both Ts and Fs. My preference leans towards Fs as they are generally warmer and more caring people.

 

My perfect guy would be ENF(mildly expressed)J(very mildly expressed to balance out my chaotic personality).

[northern_sky]

Few points:

 

Myer-Briggs doesn't measure your "sanity". Someone in another thread thought it did.

 

I kind of have trouble seeing Shadow as T. I dunno, she is extremely analytical and smart but her emotions rule her over logic. Ts are people who are mostly logical/cool headed rather than emotional. I could be wrong though.

 

My prospective (INFP):

 

I get along best with other Ns. We have the same way of thinking.

I don't get along with Ss at all. As friends or lovers.

Strongly expressed Js are way too anal and annoying to me.

All my friends are Es. I prefer lively people and they draw out the fun side of me. I am only mild introvert though (6%).

I like both Ts and Fs. My preference leans towards Fs as they are generally warmer and more caring people.

 

My perfect guy would be ENF(mildly expressed)J(very mildly expressed to balance out my chaotic personality).

 

Yeah, I was surprised by this too, but I guess it's why I am a borderline T/F. On one test I only had 1% T. I am logical and I value reason over emotion, but as you said I'm impulsive and emotion tends to highly influence my own decisions. What I can't stand is people who actually believe going with whatever "feels good" is always the best choice. My ex was like this. I remember him saying he was annoyed by people who are "super logical" (wtf), and it was the reason why our relationship ultimately failed.