LoneWolf30 Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Sorry for the long post, I just want everyone to get a clearer picture.So I dated my ex for almost 12 years. We've been on and off for the entire time. Sometimes days, weeks, months.I was 18 when we first met and we had issues from the very beginning. To start, I wasn't the smartest person around and I did a lot of stupid thing and to make matter worse she isn't very confident in herself and has low self esteem. I was young at the time and it all started when we were at a new years eve party. I whistled at a girl right in front of her (douch bag move). Then from that point on, any girl she thought looked good in any way when we walked down the street she would get in these hissy fits and we'd argue for days because of a girl walking by. I even remeber when I mentioned that britney spears looked good in her younger days, she got upset with me. So, basically from this point on, I had no more contact with friends that are girls, so that meant me ignoring even my guy friends because every time we went out there'd be girls around and she didn't like that very much. So basically, I was isolated from all my friends and didn't have anyone left but her, but I was ok with that for some reason. So fast forward a few years, I graduated college and decided I wanted to move to another province to start my career by gaining experience. Before I left, I gave her a promise ring because I do love her and want to eventually marry her. I even sung a song for her while presenting the promise ring. While I was away, a long time friend that's a girl contacted me because she was going to be visiting where I was. I didn't tell my gf at the time and somehow she found out by playing detective by looking at my cell phone bill online. So I was busted, and this caused us to breakup. I had the hardest time after this break because it was the longest break we had (approx. 6 months) and she started dating someone else. I wasn't totally over her, but found some other girl to talk to in her place. My ex gf then started calling me again even though she was still with this other guy. I went home for vacation and I met up with my ex and we had sex. So after a few months, I moved back to my home town because I got home sick, but me and my ex gf were still not together at this point. So after some time talking, she broke it off with this other guy and said she wanted me back. I told her I was hesitant because it hurt so much when we broke up the last time. But going against my own conscience, we got back together. The first year we were back together, she hid from me that she was still in contact with the other guy she dated and that caused a lot of fights, though I forgave her at this point, she started having issues with me. She started picking at every little thing she could, like not listening, not remembering the tiniest details, my driving habits every thing basically. So now, at present(5 days ago), we are broken up because I lied to her. Let me tell you why I lied before the judging starts. I had a drug problem in the past and have been on this medication that's part of my rehab program. I have been clean for many many years (10+). I have been getting the pressure to get off these meds for a long time, and we fight about me being on them all the time, but for me, its my livelihood and these meds kept me clean and helped me function like a normal human being and she doesn't seem to understand that. Anyways, so I told her I would quit the meds by a certain date (Dec 31, 2010), and this was really my plan, however I told her to let me handle it. I told her that I was presently on a lower dose than what I am really on, but she likes to play detective and snoop around all the time, so she finds out that I have more meds then what I told her I'm suppose to have, and calls me out on my BS. I admitted everything to her, but she doesn't seem to understand that I was still planning to quit by the specified date and she says I'm only sorry that I got caught. Regardless of that, she left me because she said I am a liar and a scum, and everything else that's bad in the world. I try calling her up because I miss her and really do love her, but she yells and screams at me even if I asked her if she wants to go grab a bite to eat. She says to not ask her anything and to leave her alone. So now, I don't know what to do. I feel SO lost without her because I have no friends anymore to talk to because I gave everyone up for her. I feel like an absolutle loser because I can't even go out with anyone to take my mind off her. Any suggestions or thoughts?
Tressugar Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Wow...you guys have a long history together. I suggest that you let nature take it's course with situation. Maybe you guys need a break from each other. I understand that you guys obvious love each other, but the both parties feel betrayed by the other person. If it's meant to be allow it to happen all on it's own. Don't push it. If not, you both can grow from this situation by learning how each person contributed to the ending of the relationship. Don't do the blame game and come from a place of love and acceptance. Hope this helps.
bl22 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 hey buddy itl be easier to read if you break it into paragraphs using the edit feature
Author LoneWolf30 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 Wow...you guys have a long history together. I suggest that you let nature take it's course with situation. Maybe you guys need a break from each other. I understand that you guys obvious love each other, but the both parties feel betrayed by the other person. If it's meant to be allow it to happen all on it's own. Don't push it. If not, you both can grow from this situation by learning how each person contributed to the ending of the relationship. Don't do the blame game and come from a place of love and acceptance. Hope this helps. Thanks for the suggestion. I thought I had tried to let nature takes it course once before, but I felt as though she reeled me in and is now letting me go again. It's the pain of being let go after so long and having only her as my friend and support. I'm trying the no contact rule and reading through some of the posts help a lot.
Author LoneWolf30 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 (edited) hey buddy itl be easier to read if you break it into paragraphs using the edit feature I posted the original with my blackberry, and it looked fine at the time, I'll edit it now, thanks! Just checked, and I can't seem to edit the original post. sorry to everyone else reading it. I find it really hard to read too. Stupid blackberry!!! Edited December 16, 2010 by LoneWolf30
Tressugar Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 No problem! Yeah the no contact works. It will be hard, but do not cave. Not for the other person, but for you. It allows you time to heal, become stronger and become focused. Try it at least for a couple of months and see where you are at in the healing process.
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