Re: Cold Wife

[billy42515]

I am now obsessing over this.( bad very bad )

First of all is it ok to look at your spouses e-mail and Facebook comments when you suspect their involved with other men ?

She has now shut or changed her yahoo mail account.

She said she was no longer going to be on the computer and that she cannot express her feelings.

She has a work e mail and web access so can I assume another lie?

She will not express them to me. We have never been friends and our marriage has always been one person wrong (me) and one person right (her).

I do not want a divorce and she had told me that she is staying for the boys.

I know what I have to do just don't want to.

I'm having trouble being a man about this as I just want to get along so maybe being to nice but being an ass about doesn't help either.

 

Thanks for the responses

[Darth Vader]

I am now obsessing over this.( bad very bad )

First of all is it ok to look at your spouses e-mail and Facebook comments when you suspect their involved with other men ?

She has now shut or changed her yahoo mail account.

She said she was no longer going to be on the computer and that she cannot express her feelings.

She has a work e mail and web access so can I assume another lie?

She will not express them to me. We have never been friends and our marriage has always been one person wrong (me) and one person right (her).

I do not want a divorce and she had told me that she is staying for the boys.

I know what I have to do just don't want to.

I'm having trouble being a man about this as I just want to get along so maybe being to nice but being an ass about doesn't help either.

 

Thanks for the responses

 

 

First off, relax.

 

Second, remember, you can't control another person. So if she decides to screw around, you can't stop her.

 

Third, although you can't stop her from cheating, it's never your fault that she chose to cheat. You're not to blame.

 

Fourth, you're not a failure. Don't beat yourself up about what she's doing to you. Refer to the third section.

 

Lastly, she's already gone, better for you to protect yourself financially and go for child custody and protect your home and retirement plan/s. We're here for you!

[billy42515]

Darth, Thanks that's what I'm being told by my counselor. And MAN UP DAMMIT!

[cracer]

See the reply I left in your other post.

 

 

Do what Darth Vader says.

[Spark1111]

Billy, when there is a breech of trust, YES!. snoop all you want. I did.

 

You can always check the browing history or the temporary internet files. It is helpful to know where one's SO is on the website. You do not need a password to do this.

 

It is necessary to restore trust in a person who has broken it.

 

Remember, people with nothing to hide, hide nothing. Sadintexas is right.

[kevinm1019]

Hi Billy... I went through the same thing. The bottom line is this has happened and what do you want for your life going forward. If you want to stay with your wife... state your conditions... her saying she is staying for the boys is a way of controlling you and playing on your fragile emotions. If she is going to stay... the rules and boundaries have to be set. If she is not willing to consider those requests and allow her actions to demonstrate her willingness to change... make plans to divorce and move on with your life.

[wicar1]

First off, relax.

 

Second, remember, you can't control another person. So if she decides to screw around, you can't stop her.

 

Third, although you can't stop her from cheating, it's never your fault that she chose to cheat. You're not to blame.

 

Fourth, you're not a failure. Don't beat yourself up about what she's doing to you. Refer to the third section.

 

Lastly, she's already gone, better for you to protect yourself financially and go for child custody and protect your home and retirement plan/s. We're here for you!

 

well said.. !!!

[TigerCub]

I am now obsessing over this.( bad very bad )

First of all is it ok to look at your spouses e-mail and Facebook comments when you suspect their involved with other men ?

She has now shut or changed her yahoo mail account.

She said she was no longer going to be on the computer and that she cannot express her feelings.

She has a work e mail and web access so can I assume another lie?

She will not express them to me. We have never been friends and our marriage has always been one person wrong (me) and one person right (her).

I do not want a divorce and she had told me that she is staying for the boys.

I know what I have to do just don't want to.

I'm having trouble being a man about this as I just want to get along so maybe being to nice but being an ass about doesn't help either.

 

Thanks for the responses

 

Billy, if the you and your W have never been friends, AND she's cheating on you, AND you're in a relationship where you are seen as "always wrong" I can't help but ask: WHY DO YOU WANT TO STAY MARRIED TO HER?

 

yes, I understand that you have kids

yes, I understand that you're worried about custody and the financial BS

but really? is life like this any better?

The title of your thread is 'COLD WIFE' - do you really want your kids growing up in a home where mommy is a cheater and a bitch and treats dad like crap and dad just grins and takes it? Is that what you really want your kids to learn about relationships?

 

I say take Darth Vader's advice - it sounds very logical.

 

Good luck to you and I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I just don't think its right for you to waste your life walking on egg shells to please a woman that's treating you like crap and is also unfaithful to you.

[RobD70]

If you are going to stay with a cheating wife that doesn't love you then you might as well start dating yourself...well not "yourself" but other people.