9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Well it has been 4 months and Im still having a struggle. I feel like I should be over this whole ordeal but I guess Im not. I wouldnt dare talk to any of my friends cause they dont get it. I was doing fine until my ex bestfriend wanted to be friends and calls me and stuff like that. It sends my mind wondering. Plus I have this SICK obssession with checking my ex new gf facebook page. I can only see the profile cause I blocked her but it has proven to be harmful. His best friend let out the bag that he went to a ball. When I looked her fb page, she had on a ball dress so I know she went as well. UGH!!! Why do I keep doing this to myself??? Why cant I just move on with my life? Why cant I just stay off her page? I KNOW nothing good is comes from it. I just want him to break up with her soooo bad. I want it to be over with them. He can be with anyone but her!!!! I hate her. No she didnt do anything to me. I just hate her!!!!! I wish I can stop myself from looking at her fb profile. I have blocked her but you can still see the profile picture by selected "caghed" or something like that. I just dont know how to control myself. Gosh....I know it sounds sooooo lame and weak but its real. I was thinking about going to a computer store that can help me block her on my computer from search engines all together. I really want to leave this fking sht in 2010. It is nothing but self torture that is self inflicted
SlawKing Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Just stop telling yourself that "I can't help it" is a reasonable excuse. It isn't. Be stronger. And don't worry that your friends won't understand or won't care. If they're your friends, they'll listen. They'll be there for you. That's what they're there for. Talk to them.
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Just stop telling yourself that "I can't help it" is a reasonable excuse. It isn't. Be stronger. And don't worry that your friends won't understand or won't care. If they're your friends, they'll listen. They'll be there for you. That's what they're there for. Talk to them. i rather talk to you all. My friends are like done with it. I dont have their support anymore. You know how friend are sometimes. Slaw, I have tried to stop. I really have. Like I said, I know it is very lame but I still do it. I going to the computer store to see if they can put a block on it for me. Sometimes, you got to do more than most to move on with your life.
SlawKing Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Oh I'm not going to call you lame at all. I'm kinda being a hypocrite anyway. I occasionally type my ex's name into the search bar on facebook to see if her profile picture is still her and the other guy. We're all a little pathetic after being destroyed like that. My best advice would be to do things that you haven't tried, but assume that you wouldn't like. Lately I've been hanging out with old friends and doing stuff I never would have considered a few months ago. I went to a rave (didn't drop E) and danced with a ton of random women. Wound up making out with a friend of a friend. Nothing serious, just rave behavior, but it did a great job of taking my mind off of her. I'm going on a snowboarding trip in a few weeks and I'll be going skydiving this spring. Maybe you should try stepping out of your comfort zone and start living life in new and fun ways.
sally4sara Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Well if you're going to obsess over her, the least you could do is outshine her. And I don't see how you can do that when your new interest is obsessing over her. Take a class Join a social group Throw yourself into some Muay Thai boxing and get lean and mean Participate in a charity. You have to flip this script. No more oooh I hate her. Instead make it oooh she would sweat if I started hanging around and the ex, well then he'd be too stupid to date because I'm better than her. I'm betting somewhere along the way, you'd realize she wasn't worth obsessing over and you've become too good for him.
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Well if you're going to obsess over her, the least you could do is outshine her. And I don't see how you can do that when your new interest is obsessing over her. Take a class Join a social group Throw yourself into some Muay Thai boxing and get lean and mean Participate in a charity. You have to flip this script. No more oooh I hate her. Instead make it oooh she would sweat if I started hanging around and the ex, well then he'd be too stupid to date because I'm better than her. I'm betting somewhere along the way, you'd realize she wasn't worth obsessing over and you've become too good for him. Well Im not jealous of her as a person! Im a very attractive lady myself so thats not really the problem. I am good on that. I wish I didnt know who she was. That would kill the desire to see whats going on.
Leandro Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 You know you can always go over to the chat room. There is usually someone there that can talk to you.
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 You know you can always go over to the chat room. There is usually someone there that can talk to you. what chat room?
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 9, the more you look, the more you hurt. I know that now it's become a habit and maybe this is just another process of pain you need to go through before throwing in the towel forever and shutting him (and HER) out of your mind. Distance yourself from ex's bf, he is being a dick by giving you info about your ex.. Tell him to stop talking about it or you'll cut him out of your life. Which in some sense you should since he is your ex's bf.. All you can do is give it your best, have willpower and keep asking yourself "will this make me feel better if I look?" Or just go cold turkey. Delete your facebook for a while. keep intouch with your friends by phone and go see them.
Leandro Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Its on this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t242705/ On the first page. It says tinychat.
sally4sara Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Well Im not jealous of her as a person! Im a very attractive lady myself so thats not really the problem. I am good on that. I wish I didnt know who she was. That would kill the desire to see whats going on. Sorry. You sound like you are with all the "I hate her" stuff. Even attractive people feel jealousy. If not over her, over her being in your previous shoes. Did she steal him or something? I can't imagine thinking this much about her if she didn't. And if she did, it would be at least somewhat normal to obsess over her. If she did steal him, it would also be at least somewhat normal to feel some jealousy even if you know you're attractive. So my advise remains the same. Direct your energy elsewhere and if you're going to obsess over her, use the hate to motivate.
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 9, the more you look, the more you hurt. I know that now it's become a habit and maybe this is just another process of pain you need to go through before throwing in the towel forever and shutting him (and HER) out of your mind. Distance yourself from ex's bf, he is being a dick by giving you info about your ex.. Tell him to stop talking about it or you'll cut him out of your life. Which in some sense you should since he is your ex's bf.. All you can do is give it your best, have willpower and keep asking yourself "will this make me feel better if I look?" Or just go cold turkey. Delete your facebook for a while. keep intouch with your friends by phone and go see them. You are my favorite voice of reason. I agree with all the above. I will put him in his place and I am seriously thinking about cutting him off. I dont know why he wants to be my friend like that anyway. thanks for giving me advice
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Sorry. You sound like you are with all the "I hate her" stuff. Even attractive people feel jealousy. If not over her, over her being in your previous shoes. Did she steal him or something? I can't imagine thinking this much about her if she didn't. And if she did, it would be at least somewhat normal to obsess over her. If she did steal him, it would also be at least somewhat normal to feel some jealousy even if you know you're attractive. So my advise remains the same. Direct your energy elsewhere and if you're going to obsess over her, use the hate to motivate. Sally, I hate her for being in my old shoes. Not her per say. Im just keeping it real. I do hate her right now. She didnt take him from me but she was around when I was trying to get back together with him. She didnt have anything to do with it really. we had a lot of issues. So for her to come right after me...i hate it and I hate her...I know it is childish and immature but that negative energy has to go somewhere...im human
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Its on this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t242705/ On the first page. It says tinychat. who do I talk to? Who do I follow
sally4sara Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Sally, I hate her for being in my old shoes. Not her per say. Im just keeping it real. I do hate her right now. She didnt take him from me but she was around when I was trying to get back together with him. She didnt have anything to do with it really. we had a lot of issues. So for her to come right after me...i hate it and I hate her...I know it is childish and immature but that negative energy has to go somewhere...im human Who would fault you for that? Certainly not me. And I'm betting it burns that its all new and stuff so she doesn't even know yet what an ass he can be (that we can all be at times). I'd still use it as motivation. No one gets to rent a room in my head without me gaining something from it. I'm just saying that while the eviction process is still grinding, use that anger to do something great - for you.
Leandro Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 they should be at least one person in there. You don't need to follow anyone. just go to the thread and click the Tinychat link on the first page. It will bring you to the chat room, then you will need to put in a screen name. you can use 9lives. They will say Hey 9lives, you new here, you from LS...blah blah. Go from there .
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Who would fault you for that? Certainly not me. And I'm betting it burns that its all new and stuff so she doesn't even know yet what an ass he can be (that we can all be at times). I'd still use it as motivation. No one gets to rent a room in my head without me gaining something from it. I'm just saying that while the eviction process is still grinding, use that anger to do something great - for you. Man I love that!!!! Sally, I know this is a stupid phase and it is self inflicted by me. I have learned so so much. She is not all that. She really really is not. I just need to stop doing stupid stuff to myself. Im gonna get it together. I just took a dip in the valley. I guess I had to take this dip to finally get out. Im almost there
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 You are my favorite voice of reason. I agree with all the above. I will put him in his place and I am seriously thinking about cutting him off. I dont know why he wants to be my friend like that anyway. thanks for giving me advice You are so welcome! Either the guy gets off on seeing you get upset or he is passing off your reaction to your ex. Whatever his reasonings are, he is no true friend of yours. If he was, he would never EVER speak of ex around you. You can do this, just stop looking. Focus on the happier things in your life rather than looking backwards.
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 You are so welcome! Either the guy gets off on seeing you get upset or he is passing off your reaction to your ex. Whatever his reasonings are, he is no true friend of yours. If he was, he would never EVER speak of ex around you. You can do this, just stop looking. Focus on the happier things in your life rather than looking backwards. Sometimes people do not realize your pain. Plus people expect you to just get over it quick and deal with it like it aint nothing. People feel like you are weak and stupid cause you still having got over someone. I wish it was that easy. I am so looking forward to the day when I am really over for me. I know he has moved on but Im still struggling. I just dont see how he just gone like that. It hurts so much
Recommended Posts