so-wrong Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Hi all, haven't a clue how I ended up in this situation & feel dreadful. I have been married for 8 years & still love my husband (though am possibly a bit bored), I have small children that I adore & a great life in general. I met my married Taekwondo instructor over 4 yrs ago & have always greatly admired/respected him for his dedication & teaching abilities. As I've progressed through the grades we've grown closer & recently started travelling to training together. I see him 3-4 times per week for class (though his wife is often there for 1 or 2 of those). We travel to the 3rd class together every week. Now things have taken a massive turn in that the chat we enjoyed turned into flirting a few months ago & somehow we've ended up doing what I swore I would never do & are having an affair. We talk regularly, text & email (obviously in secret), but I can't believe how stupid I'm being. I love going to the classes & obviously if this got out it would wreck so much that I love in my life. He has cleared it to himself as a FWB type thing in that he really likes me, finds me attractive & enjoys being with me & has had enough of putting everyone else in his life first (his words). He seems to be justifying things by saying after many years of marriage & raising a family, he wants to have something for himself. I'm struggling in training, finding it hard in front of his wife & feel like a total bitch. But at the same time, I can't resist the sex or how he makes me feel. Anyway my questions are: Why did I do this & how do I stop?
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Do you want to stop? Is losing what you have with your husband, his love, faith and trust in you, your history with him, all that you know and have worked for, the vows, the extended family (inlaws etc), house, financial stuff, most of all the KIDS - Is possibly losing all that worth hot sex with the MM? Only you can answer that. Why did you choose to go outside of your marriage? Why not try to make the effort, tell your H that you were bored and you two should plan a getaway without the kids, reconnect and bond again. You obviously loved your H enough to marry him and have a family with him, yes? How are you going to feel when your H finds out..What if he finds out the truth on his own? Will you come clean and tell him everything or will you lie and deny? Get to counselling, figure this out soon because your H isn't stupid. He knows you well and it's only a matter of time before he starts listening to his gut. I'm sure he knows something isn't right but the last thing on his mind is his wife cheating.
bentnotbroken Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Hi all, haven't a clue how I ended up in this situation & feel dreadful. I have been married for 8 years & still love my husband (though am possibly a bit bored), I have small children that I adore & a great life in general. I met my married Taekwondo instructor over 4 yrs ago & have always greatly admired/respected him for his dedication & teaching abilities. As I've progressed through the grades we've grown closer & recently started travelling to training together. I see him 3-4 times per week for class (though his wife is often there for 1 or 2 of those). We travel to the 3rd class together every week. Now things have taken a massive turn in that the chat we enjoyed turned into flirting a few months ago & somehow we've ended up doing what I swore I would never do & are having an affair. We talk regularly, text & email (obviously in secret), but I can't believe how stupid I'm being. I love going to the classes & obviously if this got out it would wreck so much that I love in my life. He has cleared it to himself as a FWB type thing in that he really likes me, finds me attractive & enjoys being with me & has had enough of putting everyone else in his life first (his words). He seems to be justifying things by saying after many years of marriage & raising a family, he wants to have something for himself. I'm struggling in training, finding it hard in front of his wife & feel like a total bitch. But at the same time, I can't resist the sex or how he makes me feel. Anyway my questions are: Why did I do this & how do I stop? Why did you do this? You look her in the face, see their children, and know you are screwing her husband. Seems like if the shoe were on the other foot...you wouldn't like it too much.
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Oh one thing to really think about too, since you are (and should be) concerned about his wife .. IF she finds out on her own, be prepared that she will tell your H. All for what? A guy who is bored like you are, selfish and looking for some fun? Again, is losing all that you have worth a hot roll in the hay?
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