On NC and feel miserables, but she's out there having a lot of fun.

[voels]

I'm on NC for almost two months now. Today our common friend, told me that my ex seems like having a lot of fun lately. I feel sad now. She dumped me after two years, as if it's nothing while I'm feeling miserables. I can't stop thinking how could she just move on, why is she having so much etc., why she doesn't give a damn to even ask how am I doing. I did nothing wrong, while she fall out of love. This keeps playing on my mind over and over. With holiday season around the corner, I'll be alone and she will enjoy her time with her new male colleagues. I

 

I don't know why I write it here or what kind of answer I am expecting. There isn't much I can do to make this pain away. I've done the usual stuff, like going to gym and etc. I just can't stop to think about her.

[alwayshoping]

Try not to stress. Its natural to feel the way you do otherwise it would mean you didnt truely love her!

 

She maybe going out having an awesome time but you really dont know what going on in her head. She is obviously going out with friends and girls are awesome at looking like they are having an awesome time whilst deep down feeling entirely different emotions.

 

Either way, just embrace you feelings, it okay to feel down, you know deep deep deep down that you will overcome this. It just needs time and thats what your doing. Its the right way to do it after all as you don't want to a rebound to make things worse.

 

Its hard and you wont stop thinking of her anytime soon but it will get better.

 

Good luck x

[paperbag111]

Don't worry about it bruv, I agree with Alwayshoping. Deep down inside they're hurting, no where near as much as us but they do hurt. My ex broke it off with me too after nearly 2 years and a while ago, called me in the early hours of the morning crying her eyes out saying she regrets everything from not reacting differently with our arguments to sleeping around after the break. Just know that your friends and family are just, if not more important and they are the ones who will support you and bring joy to your life.

 

Just continue to read and write on LS. You'll find that there are plenty of other guys/gals who are going through the same thing (saw that you commented on my thread) and we're all here to support each other.

 

In terms of forgetting her, just focus on how you will look and feel in the long term. My feelings for my ex are still in limbo, even though she slept around, but I've heard and believe that the best way for the ex to question their decision of breaking it up, is to see how happy and fit you are and how much you're enjoying life.

 

PB.

[seibert253]

Time and Distance my friend.

 

The only two healing mechanisms which work.

 

Stay strong my friend.

[Leandro]

Time and Distance my friend.

 

The only two healing mechanisms which work.

 

Stay strong my friend.

NC as well. Its the oil that keeps that machine going.

[voels]

Thank you guys. alwayshoping, you're probably right. Deep inside, who knows. I thought 3 weeks is all it takes to get over someone lol.

 

paperbag111, must be hard for you that she slept around. I can tell by your post, you're much stronger and will get over it soon enough

 

Everything I do now remind me of her. Every small little things.

 

Good luck to you guys too.

[9Lives]

Thank you guys. alwayshoping, you're probably right. Deep inside, who knows. I thought 3 weeks is all it takes to get over someone lol.

 

paperbag111, must be hard for you that she slept around. I can tell by your post, you're much stronger and will get over it soon enough

 

Everything I do now remind me of her. Every small little things.

 

Good luck to you guys too.

 

 

you are definately not alone. I'm having this same experience and the best thing to do is keep going.

 

CHECK YOUR FRIENDS....tell them not to be telling you anything about her and her life. I just had a major setback cause of a friend saying the wrong thing that triggered the pain I'm trying to escape.

 

it has been that long so unfortunately, you hae to let it get out your system.

stay NC, don't look back

[melenkurion]

Easier said than done, but try and get the message through to your friends that you don't want to hear about your ex.

 

Besides, it's entirely possible she might not be having the fantastic time that you think she is! It could all be an act.

 

I can't stop thinking how could she just move on, why is she having so much etc., why she doesn't give a damn to even ask how am I doing. I did nothing wrong, while she fall out of love.

 

Yup, I think many of us are thinking exactly the same things. At the moment, I think like this all the bloody time. I don't want to, I don't want to think about him at all, but I can't seem to help myself. Of course, I know it doesn't help one little bit. I'd love to know how to stop those sorts of feelings of "it's so unfair". Time and NC, I guess.

[voels]

Time and NC. I really hope it doesn't take way too long. I heard some still pinning over their ex for years. Now that makes me worry. I don't want this feeling anymore, at 28 year-old I can't afford it.

 

One of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend recently too. She sometimes call me for support, but I end up drowning with my emotion too. The story sometimes way too similar.

 

you are definately not alone. I'm having this same experience and the best thing to do is keep going.

Yup you're right. I noticed almost similar thread. Guess this is 'normal'.

[9Lives]

Time and NC. I really hope it doesn't take way too long. I heard some still pinning over their ex for years. Now that makes me worry. I don't want this feeling anymore, at 28 year-old I can't afford it.

 

One of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend recently too. She sometimes call me for support, but I end up drowning with my emotion too. The story sometimes way too similar.

 

 

Yup you're right. I noticed almost similar thread. Guess this is 'normal'.

 

Well I can tell you right now if you dont get those friends in check....YOU WILL NEVER EVER HEAL. It is important. I have stop being friends with some people cause I am very serious about this. Dont bring it up period! If you do, we are going to break up as friends.

 

You dont have to take years like some other people. I know it wont take me like many years cause Im not going to let it. Im dealing with it now but 2011 is going to be a better year and Im not going to be aching over this all year long. Not going to happen.

 

I do know how you feel. I feel like my ex is not looking back at all and having a great time but deep inside, I know that cant be true. He hasnt changed that much. but yeah i does bother me.

 

But what makes me feel better is that HE DONT KNOW what Im doing. he dont know where I am as far as everything. he dont know. I like that. If I see him, I will make sure I look as normal as he does. Now if your friends are opening their big mouth...bad!

[BlindRage]

I'm on NC for almost two months now. Today our common friend, told me that my ex seems like having a lot of fun lately. I feel sad now. She dumped me after two years, as if it's nothing while I'm feeling miserables. I can't stop thinking how could she just move on, why is she having so much etc., why she doesn't give a damn to even ask how am I doing. I did nothing wrong, while she fall out of love. This keeps playing on my mind over and over. With holiday season around the corner, I'll be alone and she will enjoy her time with her new male colleagues. I

 

I don't know why I write it here or what kind of answer I am expecting. There isn't much I can do to make this pain away. I've done the usual stuff, like going to gym and etc. I just can't stop to think about her.

 

 

Oh god only knows I know what you mean a little too much

here idk where i read this but hopefully it helps lol

 

"Ok, first of all, EVERYBODY has gone through this at some point. Ok? So, the good news is that if we've all gotten over it so will you.

 

 

One thing my friend taught me that worked for me, was every time you think of him, say "blank," and make yourself draw a blank. If five minutes later he pops into your head, again say "blank" so that you remind yourself to not think of him.

 

 

And another thing is that the "mystery" of not knowing what he is up to can drive anyone mad. You start envisioning all these crazy scenarios about what he is doing and actually convince yourself that it could be true. The mind is very powerful. But in reality, he is probably at home playing video games with his friends. But in your mind he is probably out from party to party, with models hanging all over him...Please...

 

 

Just because he is ignoring you does not mean he is out having fun. He is ignoring you for reasons that led to your break up. And NOT because he has this incredible life without you. You MUST stop letting your mind fool you like that, and you have to start putting all this in perspective. In fact, I PROMISE you his life isn't even 1/4 as great as you think. And everytime you call him, you are basically calling him for nothing. Cause he DOESN'T have this incredible life, and you are only making yourself look bad for a guy who isn't even half as great as your mind is tricking you to believe he is.

 

 

So think about that next time you pick up the phone to call him. He is not that great, I promise you. You are going to meet someone way way better, I guarantee you, and then you are going to forget all about this guy."

 

It does the trick for me sometimes. I'm like yourself, I wonder, why did my ex move on so quickly and are having so much fun after promising me their entire world and I mine.

[BlindRage]

Oh FYI format it to your own version of it talking about a female by the way. It still applies to girls even though the writer of it meant it for a male.

[pandagirl]

I was the dumpee. I'm in NC, and going out and having a lot of fun with my friends. I probably go out 5/7 days of the week. I went on two vacations, too.

 

Even though I'm having fun, smiling and laughing, I still do miss my ex and think of him often.

 

I guess my point is, you never know what someone is thinking.

[voels]

I do know how you feel. I feel like my ex is not looking back at all and having a great time but deep inside, I know that cant be true. He hasnt changed that much. but yeah i does bother me.

 

My ex is definately not looking back. Never. She's been flirting around with co-workes, visit karaoke bar with her new found male colleagues and all. Life is good for her. Does she even remember who introduce her to the new company? It was me.

 

I was out of the country for 3 weeks, once I'm back home she dropped me the news. I think dumpers are usually well prepared. They've prepared themselves emotionally, make the decision and move on.

 

Right now, I think I don't even want her back. The look on her face when tell me the news is inexplicable. So cold, and firm. Like a murderer. Why would I want a girl like that? She said she really had a great time on our trip to Cambodia and a few weeks later she decided not to love me anymore? Good lord.

 

So I don't want her, but why am I still have all these feelings? Perhaps I have bigger issues to look into. I don't know what though.

 

Even though I'm having fun, smiling and laughing, I still do miss my ex and think of him often.

Yea, I share your feeling. I have pictures of me taken recently on FB, goofing around with colleagues and it looks like I'm having a lot of fun. But deep inside, I'm still hurt.

 

Oh god only knows I know what you mean a little too much

here idk where i read this but hopefully it helps lol

Thanks, BlindRage. That's something for me to try.

Edited December 17, 2010 by voels

[voels]

Almost 3 months of NC now. I couldn't care less about her anymore. I just miss her dog. So NC does work

 

Now it's a struggle to cope with my own emptiness and loneliness.

 

Thank you guys for the support!

[blacksentra]

Glad to hear you're doing better; especially so fast.

 

Im currently about a month NC. My last semester in college starts in a couple weeks

 

I'm praying that by the time graduation comes around (May) my ex will be a memory as well

[radiodarcy]

Almost 3 months of NC now. I couldn't care less about her anymore. I just miss her dog. So NC does work

 

Now it's a struggle to cope with my own emptiness and loneliness.

 

Thank you guys for the support!

 

Glad to hear it! i'm close to 2 months NC. i'm can't say i'm at 100% but I feel sooo much better than i did before. i have to admit the first 4 -5 weeks of NC felt like a prison sentence. but after awhile i started to feel like me again. and it's such a relief not to be preoccupied with what he's doing; who he's talking to/hanging out with, etc. because - - i really don't care

[voels]

I'm praying that by the time graduation comes around (May) my ex will be a memory as well

Good luck! You still have a lot of blank canvas to go. Stay NC.

 

i'm can't say i'm at 100% but I feel sooo much better than i did before. i have to admit the first 4 -5 weeks of NC felt like a prison sentence. but after awhile i started to feel like me again. and it's such a relief not to be preoccupied with what he's doing; who he's talking to/hanging out with, etc. because - - i really don't care

 

I feel you. One day you'll wake up and feel glad that it's all over.

 

She told me New years eve that she wasnt that into me anymore. WTF. Spent The night together, had an awesome time, spent the next week all good, then the bombshell text 3 days ago. " i dont want to be in a realtionship" wow soooooooo cold.

Oh yeah my ex was so cold too. She dumped me just like that. Firm, and cold. I almost did not recognize her and what she was capable of. She was all pretty little girl to me, and suddenly she looked like a murderer.

 

I got a new job with better pay, which means I could ge a new car, better lifestyle, travel all over the world and what not. It's a vast world out there, and life is way too short to fret over a girl/guy.

[voels]

It's funny reading these thread. I'm happily married now with someone who's more loving, and THANK GOD that my ex left me.