beyondhope Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 So, this was my third date with a guy (been posting here all along). First date, He seemed to enjoy himself but I was skeptical and initially declined a second. Finally asked him on the second after a few weeks. I had a great time. Both of those dates lasted about five hours. After the first and second he sent me a message the next morning (!) to tell me he enjoyed himself. He asked me on a third date, which was today. We got coffee, and talked for about three hours in the coffee shop. Then he asked if I was hungry, and I said yes. I took this to mean we should eat together, so we went and got food. But, when we went to get food, he started acting a bit distant. Then I realized that all three of our dates have ended this way...the date's great and then I just keep hanging around...I don't know what I'm waiting for (a kiss, maybe)...until he hints that he has to go. Granted, we are both super brainy and grabbing food isn't as stimulating as, say, going to the museum. So maybe part of the problem is we're out of our element. I know this is totally uncool, to wait for him to end the date, but I have no idea when I'm supposed to do it...I live in another city and our dates have been spread over several weeks. But I realized today that it probably comes off as clingy. I suppose I'm also looking for a hint, which he never gives, except in the form of a message the next day, telling me he had fun. Obviously, he was interested enough to go for a second, and third date. But there's not been a lot of flirting. I guess I'm being insecure; today's date was good but it wasn't as fantastic as the first two. I'm worried he won't be impressed enough to go out again. Should I make a move and ask him to do something low-key and non-committal, to try and get the mood back? Or is it best to let him make a move, or not, since I obviously let this last date drag on too long? Am I just being silly and over-analyzing all of this? I haven't dated in a really long time, and we have a lot in common; I really want him to like me but it feels like the more I want that the more I dig myself into a hole. I'm scared I ruined it this time.
youngskywalker Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I guess I'm being insecure; today's date was good but it wasn't as fantastic as the first two. I'm worried he won't be impressed enough to go out again. Should I make a move and ask him to do something low-key and non-committal, to try and get the mood back? Or is it best to let him make a move, or not, since I obviously let this last date drag on too long? Am I just being silly and over-analyzing all of this? I haven't dated in a really long time, and we have a lot in common; I really want him to like me but it feels like the more I want that the more I dig myself into a hole. I'm scared I ruined it this time. I think you need to chill out, you're over analyzing. From my perspective, after three dates you need to make it clear that you're interested in the guy. Maybe you've done that already? Did you tell him you had a great time and would love to do it again? That's all it takes. If you didn't then go ahead and ask him out. Let the guy chase you but you have to LET HIM KNOW somehow or another that you WANT to be chased.
Recommended Posts