fleur_de_me Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 So- I have exams tomorrow (and thurs, and fri)- and instead of freaking out over that, I'm crying over my ex. Today would have been our anniversary. I was doing well for a while- started dating someone new, kept NC for months, but last week I broke up with the new guy (I was allergic to his cat and he told me at some point he was going to have to "choose" between us- I was like- f that, I'm NOT going to get in a populartiy contest with your cat). Anyway, felt nothing after the quasi-break up with the new guy, but after that starting thinking about the ex. We broke up mostly because I moved away for grad school, but I think he had other issues about commitment otherwise we could have done distance. I really loved him, I thought he really loved me until he freaked out two weeks before I left and said he couldn't do this. Anyway- I'm heading up to NYC for a few weeks after exams (winter break), which is where he lives. Will be going to some parties with mutual friends, although I think he will be away for part of that. Part of me really wants to see him, and still feel like we should be able to make things work. This is killing me- 6 months after the break-up and I still love him and despite all of my efforts to move on (working hard in school, going out with new friends, dating other people, doing NC), I'm still stuck on him. I'd give up everything for him if he asked. Help meeeeee!
fiat500 Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 How long did you go out with new guy? Dating new people won't help you get over your other ex. You have to take time to yourself for a while.
Author fleur_de_me Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Not long, a little over a month. I actually thought I was pretty much over the ex when I started dating him, I wasn't looking for a rebound. I had dated someone else a few months ago and knew then it was too soon, and cut it off pretty quickly. This time around I thought I was "ready"- but as time went on I found myself not falling for him the way I thought I should. And when I ended things, I didn't even have any emotion about it, which I think was a definite sign. I'm not in a rush to find someone to replace the ex, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life alone because I had my heart broken. Ugh.
seaworld Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Not long, a little over a month. I actually thought I was pretty much over the ex when I started dating him, I wasn't looking for a rebound. I had dated someone else a few months ago and knew then it was too soon, and cut it off pretty quickly. This time around I thought I was "ready"- but as time went on I found myself not falling for him the way I thought I should. And when I ended things, I didn't even have any emotion about it, which I think was a definite sign. I'm not in a rush to find someone to replace the ex, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life alone because I had my heart broken. Ugh. wow.. a month of dating, and 6 months later after a few relationships, you still can't get over him.... If only my ex fiance of 4 yrs would even think about me a little bit, I would be happy You should just go talk to him. You have nothing to lose. NC is for you to get over your ex and to move on, but if you haven't moved on, and enough time have passed and you don't know how yr ex is feeling, you should contact him to see if there is any feelings on his part. Gluck.
Author fleur_de_me Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Sorry- after reading your response seaworld, I thought maybe I wasn't clear. The 1-month relationship was with the new guy (no feelings at all)- I was with my ex for a year and a half, although it was a much more intense relationship than others that have been longer. I thought he was "the one"- I was never as happy as I was during the time we were together. Can't explain it- he was so good to me, he made me feel safe and loved and beautiful everyday. He had his issues, but despite them, I loved him the way he was and never wanted to change him. We'll see- may just throw caution to the wind. At this point I have nothing left to lose, I've made very little progress despite trying to do things "the right way."
9Lives Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 So- I have exams tomorrow (and thurs, and fri)- and instead of freaking out over that, I'm crying over my ex. Today would have been our anniversary. I was doing well for a while- started dating someone new, kept NC for months, but last week I broke up with the new guy (I was allergic to his cat and he told me at some point he was going to have to "choose" between us- I was like- f that, I'm NOT going to get in a populartiy contest with your cat). Anyway, felt nothing after the quasi-break up with the new guy, but after that starting thinking about the ex. We broke up mostly because I moved away for grad school, but I think he had other issues about commitment otherwise we could have done distance. I really loved him, I thought he really loved me until he freaked out two weeks before I left and said he couldn't do this. Anyway- I'm heading up to NYC for a few weeks after exams (winter break), which is where he lives. Will be going to some parties with mutual friends, although I think he will be away for part of that. Part of me really wants to see him, and still feel like we should be able to make things work. This is killing me- 6 months after the break-up and I still love him and despite all of my efforts to move on (working hard in school, going out with new friends, dating other people, doing NC), I'm still stuck on him. I'd give up everything for him if he asked. Help meeeeee! You never know when you might encourage someone else and lift their spirits up. And you did just that. It just proves that sometime it just take time. I am doing the dating thing and really ...Im not ready. I be trying to be but Im just not. So Im going to stop for a while cause Im not really doing my part. Some times it takes time. I still struggle.
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