mel2000 Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Ok so im 24 and i've been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I love her and know that she's the one i will marry. I have never cheated nor have I ever intended too, and frankly I hope not to. Anyway I have been hit with the biggest temptation I have ever had to face and its killing me, Im hoping i can get some opinions and advice here. There is a woman who works next door to me and she is smoking. Me and my co-workers check her out constantly and speak of her often. Its like they would all love a chance with her. She's 31 or so, married with two kids, and has officially come on to me. Yes i know she's married and im not sure why she decided to come on to me, but she did.. We spoke through a phone instant messenger and she is bringing up potentially meeting up one day soon. (even sent a few pics of herself which doesnt make it any easier. It has always been a fantasy of mine to hook up with a hot older woman, but never thought that opportunity would come up. My problem is I dont want to cheat, but this would be like a fantasy coming true which is why the temptation is so strong. Do I worry about her marriage? Do I fulfill this fantasy now and get it over with because you only live once? Am I wrong for considering it? Do I fight the temptation and say no? I dont know if I would feel guilt considering its been a fantasy of mine? IDK im confused and looking for direction. Thanks in advance..
soulm8 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Reverse the situation to your girlfriend and a fantasy opportunity for her... how does it make you feel? Does it sadden you at all that she'd even be considering sleeping with someone other than yourself?
hopesndreams Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 If you do follow through with this, keep in mind you have many years left on this earth and one day the shame of it all will hit you like a ton of bricks.
wheream_i Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Either that, or he'll look back and wish he went through with it. If you do follow through with this, keep in mind you have many years left on this earth and one day the shame of it all will hit you like a ton of bricks.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Why not ask the girl you're planning to marry if she'd mind if you bang the older woman? After all, if it's your "fantasy" then it must be okay, right? WRONG. Go through with it, and you're a cheater. If you want to go through with it, you owe it to your GF to break up with her first. Or at least tell her first, so that she has the opportunity to decide if she still wants to be with you. "Strong temptation" doesn't make cheating okay. You're an adult, with full control over your actions. Man up and recognize that. How would you feel if your GF banged some hot older guy because it had always been her fantasy? Pretty crappy, I'll bet.
JohnM Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Just because its something you have always wanted to try doesn't make it alright. I think you need to look at whether you ARE really happy and content with your current relationship. To consider having sex with another woman (regardless of age) is still a red flag and a sign that your interest is waning. I feel if you love your gf, you would deeply regret doing this. You would likely feel full of regret afterwards and it would lead to you breaking up with your gf, whether that would be shortly afterwards or further down the road.
Suki18 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Well if you are that tempted then maybe you should break up with your girlfriend. She deserves better.
sfranks1492 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 It's obvious you are young and a bit immature for even asking this question. If you love your girlfriend of 5 yrs no fantasy would be worth risking that relationship. So why ruin what you say is a good thing. You can't erase CHEATING and it doesn't make it ok because it's a fantasy. If I were you I'd tell your girlfriend and let her get out of the relationship before you make a fool of her. As for the 31 yr old woman, if she is willing to cheat on her husband and has been sending you messages, she obviously has her own issues. And if she is willing to cheat on her husband she is willing to cheat on anyone...you will be USED. Is that what you really want when you have a girl of 5yrs by your side. Seems like an easy answer to me..
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