sirweasles Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Ok ill make this as short as I can. About 2 years ago I was hit by PTSD and chose to ignor it. My wife tried many times to get me to get help even offering to go with me and I never did. Now I work 10 hours away from home and have had it hit me full in the face and am trying to cope and work through it however as it hit about finished me off my wife told me I was no longer allowed home and would have to find some other place to stay for the holidays so that I can see my kids. My wife is telling me that when I get me fixed that we can talk about us again. I have learned that PTSD never goes away and can somtimes take months even years to get under control. My wife seems uncareing and all my attempts to bring us back together i fear have caused more problems. I am of the belief now that I have to move on but I dont know how I cant seem to get my mind past this I have it perminatly fixed in my mind that I have to bridge the gap between me and my wife before I can fix me but in order to have a chance at fixing me and my wife I have to fix me. HOW do I move on how do I make myself go on with life and fix my problems and how do I do this with out causing any more problems with my wife.
Author sirweasles Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Is there nobody with any advice.
alwayshoping Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 PTSD affects different people in different ways so it's hard without further information. Best advice would be to go to couciling? And let your wife know the dates incase she wants to come? And perhaps marriage coucilling, that will prove your serious? And perhaps a grand gesture as the cherry on the cake? Maybe I'm being idealistic in my tired state but that's what I would do x
Author sirweasles Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 My wife doesnt believe that mc will help us. I don't know how to reach her anymore. she wants to pretend that we are just friends. and treats me like I dont matter to her at all except for when it comes to the kids.
sedgwick Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Please, please learn about EMDR, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, immediately! It could help you a lot, very quickly.
Author sirweasles Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 I dont understand what you are saying
alwayshoping Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 If you start going by yourself then perhaps she will see your serious and join in? If she see's your making an effort for you, then maybe she will see a new side to you. You will be surprised with what a-little change will do. Make an effort and see what happens, at least you can say you tried you best right? Its the only thing anyone can ask of you.
Author sirweasles Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 I start thearepy on monday hopfully it will help me atleast untangle the mess inside my head
alwayshoping Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 thats so good just let her know after the session, tell her you don't want to be friends and you WILL fix it no matter how long it takes. Tell her she will see a different you, but you need some help from her too. Tell her your willing to do anything. Ps are you sure there isn't anyone else? if there isn't and she see's the change in you, aka making an effort then, she should want to help, although she maybe scared if she gives you a chance things will go back to normal and you will stop making an effort. The little things you do will show her. Just keep the faith. Have you got her and the kids some awesome christmas presents? Its all about the effort. Good luck x
Author sirweasles Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 well I am not one hundred percent sure on the sombody else but im pretty sure there isnt. I am goin to do my best to just work on me and not be pushy at all. and no I dont finally get a good paycheck till the 30th so there are goin to be some late gifts lol. i did however get them at least somthin
cerridwen Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 My friend (a psychotherapist) learned EMDR from the person who created the technique. It definitely works when administered correctly. She's been using it to treat troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan who have PTSD. Sedgwick was smart to suggest it.
Author sirweasles Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 thanks i will look into it
Author sirweasles Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Ok how do I prepare my self to see her again and how do I know if im being pushy. When I get back home I will be seeing my girls alot so I will also be seeing her. I want to make her believe that I am taking her advice and working on me and not trying to push the relationship issue. any advice would be very helpful.
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