Gt.ooh Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I know there's a few long time members hovering around the forum. How long did it take you guys' to wake up one day and go I no longer care? Secondary question: For those of us still coping, have you broken NC? After how long. I've been thinking about sending an email with a picture of my new dog with a santa hat, and "happy holidays". Completely harmless?? possibly not to me. It's just lingering in the back of my head, and I need some advice as to whether it might be ok to send something like that. We always wanted a dog, and I got one..she's still in school on the other side of the country.
skydiveaddict Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 1) it hasn't happened yet 2)No I have not
LikeCharlotte Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 It has been different with every break up but once I no longer cared about my last ex I spent over a year working out myself. I was a mess and the break up was a catalyst for a lot of change.
K'aycie Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 1) It took a long time. 2) Not for a few months, I don't intend to again anytime soon.
Author Gt.ooh Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Thanks guys. I think I'm on the path LikeCharlotte...It's been 3.5 months for me, not saying I'll be a year, but I think I got a waze to go yet :/ Would you guys send that email? I haven't talked to her in just over a month.
t0ri Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 It took me about 6 months to feel alright, and I didn't care anymore around 7 to 8 months. I don't know your back story, but I would not recommend sending her the email. I'm betting you want to do that so you can hear back from her, not because you want to harmlessly send a greeting. Either way, you'll be waiting around and wondering if/what her response will be. Ultimately, it'll just set you back in your healing process, AND will let her know you're still holding onto what was/could've been. I would not do it. Keep your chin up! I know it's hard. There's no set time limit for a heart to heal, but you'll get there. Best of luck to you.
Username37 Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I know there's a few long time members hovering around the forum. How long did it take you guys' to wake up one day and go I no longer care? Secondary question: For those of us still coping, have you broken NC? After how long. I'm starting not to care. I'm over wanting her back but I'm at a point where I hate her guts for being such a bitch to me. Haven't broken NC fully. I spoke to her a little bit at a concert (a concert I did NOT expect her to be at) and that was it.
Author Gt.ooh Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Thanks guys. I believe you're definitely right about that email. I've been doing fairly well not contacting thus far...it's just magnified that much more during the holidays and during the winter season, being locked inside. At least I'm not alone in the fight for indifference..and I say fight because it's a fight with your own mind.
alwayshoping Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I broke NC on day 3 17 and then 20. I have since been in NC for over 120 days and tbh I now don't care about her. I wish her the best and don't really care if I see her/speak to her ever again. I think everyone takes their own length of time. One day at a time and one day you will hardly think of her! Good luck x
mgene15 Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I've Been NC for almost 2 months now! and atleast once a week I consider breaking it, but I log on here an realize what a mistake it would be to contact my ex with a pic of me and my new tatoos or something to that effect. stay strong, it's all a mind game, some people are better at tuneing it out than others I guess
Author Gt.ooh Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 Yea, I would have to agree that some people are better at tuning out feelings and eagerness to contact...Like our ex's lol.
Nkognito Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I've slept with two women this week and made out with a third yet I sit here thinking of her a lot today. Hell I even had a dream about her the other night and in my dream had asked her to come back and work it out but I think eventually in my dream, my mind realized this was not the same person, in fact it was not them at all which just brought me out of my slumber. I wish I knew what this was because a 2 month relationship has dominated me more than a 10 relationship that I threw away.
bestrong Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I know there's a few long time members hovering around the forum. How long did it take you guys' to wake up one day and go I no longer care? Secondary question: For those of us still coping, have you broken NC? After how long. After 14 months, I still care and I still want her back. But I am in a better position now since I can always fight against my urge of breaking NC. It has bee painful since recently I have been dreaming about her standing in front of me and I tried to tell her how much I have missed her. It leaves me heart ache in the morning. I have broken NC after I replied an email from her. Ever since then she would send hi and disappeared when I replied. So i learned that it's never good to talk to each other when either one us are not fully recovered from the relationship. Hopefully I can fully move on in 2011.
ussy Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 1. Been NC a year 2. Yes broke NC a few weeks ago when she inboxed me on FB.... Didnt lead to anything.
b_rouse Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Everybody's different; there will be outliers. For me, it only took a little over a month to get over my 1 year relationship. If he doesn't care about me, he doesn't deserve me caring about him. It's going to keep hurting if you don't accept that it's over. And I know there are other guys out there that will be better than him, I just have to get out and start mingling!
BlindRage Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I broke it last night. I was feeling awful, while taking a shower all my thoughts drifted back to the good times we had. So I got my phone and called(I was ignored.. shocker) Well then I texted things like I care about you a lot and blah blah. Then after that long text I ended it with "I'll always love you, Im sorry for the stupid ***** I did after we ended. I just don't know how to deal with my feelings. I wish you the best in everything you do." I had been NC for 3 days before that but I broke down in a moment of weakness and panic and we've been broken up for about 4 months. I'm starting over today. NC day 1. No I'm not over them clearly.
Author Gt.ooh Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Well for me I'm not there yet. Still quite a waze to go. I broke NC several times, but finally I've been able to maintain a good 1.5 months of nothing..I'm proud of myself for resisiting the urge during the holiday season. Oh man...why do we have to deal with this crap. Our minds are our own prison sometimes it seems. I just want it to snow right about now to go 4x4ing.
9Lives Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 It has been 4 months and I won't be contacting the ex. as for the email....ery bad move especially arpund the holidays. just don't do it unless u like rejection and pain.
nj10 Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Umm..its been a couple of months now..but he is my classmate in university..i see him often but never speak a word.. i would not recommend the emel though..last nov was his birthday, I want to wish him but in the end decided not to say anything..
sedgwick Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 With the others, it's been about a year. With one, I pined for him for 12 years, although I dated others in that time and even had a couple of long-term relationships. With the most recent, it's been 3.5 years and I haven't had a single date since. It wouldn't be fair; I still love him deeply. I've been NC since three months after we broke up, but it hasn't really helped. I still think about him constantly. My life is good, but I'm not over him by a long shot. Someday, someday...
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