bbenson Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Hi everyone, this is my first post on here. Sorry if it's a little long. I was in a relationship with a girl for a year and a half. I thought everything was perfect, and so did she for a while. Soon after we moved in together, she told me that she just wasn't happy in her life and wanted to get happy with herself before she moved deeper into a relationship. She said that because she wasn't happy she didn't feel like she could make me happy. She said that she wanted to still be friends. At first I just assumed this was her letting me down easy, and not being able to directly do it. But as the weeks went on I'm still in love with her and can't interpret the meanings of her actions at all. For awhile, about 2months I didn't talk to her hardly at all. Then all the sudden she showed up where I had been staying and we talked for awhile. No one else was around and we ended up having sex. Both of us sort of didn't know what happened. For the next 4 months which leads up to where I am now, we have been talking at least once a week. Most of the time we end up meeting up and eating out or just hanging out and watching a movie or something. I don't know how long I can keep this up for because I truly do love her and it hurts everytime. Yesterday was her birthday. We hadn't talked in about a week but I figured at the level we are currently on it would be disrespectful to not send her a happy birthday wish. She texted me back seemingly happy and we made plans for later that night, after she went out with her family for a birthday dinner. I hadn't heard back from her all day and then all the sudden at around 10pm I got a text asking me something about the game (my favorite team was on monday night football). I called her this time cause I'm not a huge texter really, and wished her happy birthday. She wanted to come over and wtch the rest of the game with me so I picked her up and she came back. The whole night she seemed sort of disinterested and was texting someone else. Anyway she decided to sleep over. Nothing romantic happened but just sleeping with her brought me back to square one of the breakup. Maybe I'm reading too much into all this I don't know. I just feel like her sleeping in bed with me on her birthday has to mean something!? Good or Bad!? I think I might go into no contact for good and see how it works out. Usually she texts me about a week into my attempts and I always call her back... What does everyone think about my situation? Am I handling it right? Does she still have feelings for me? Any advice would be appreciated!
Don_da_Ho Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 At first I just assumed this was her letting me down easy, and not being able to directly do it. But as the weeks went on I'm still in love with her and can't interpret the meanings of her actions at all. What does everyone think about my situation? Am I handling it right? Does she still have feelings for me? Any advice would be appreciated! Well your first mistake was continuing with her after she made it clear she did not want to be with you. Notice you said that YOU are still in love with HER, you did not say that SHE is in love with YOU. It's always about how THEY feel, not about how YOU feel. Her actions are clear: she wants to keep you on the back burner for comfort and emotional support until she meets the guy she wants to be with. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's it. Are you handling it right? No. Bro, sorry to say, but this situation is going nowhere except for continued heart break for you. Your plan of keeping in contact and keeping her around with the hope of it turning around or her changing her feelings isn't going to work. You need to cut ties with her and do not contact her. The fact that the last time she was over and she was texting someone (another guy) and didn't have sex with you should tell you it's over. Don't be a doormat and a pussy. Save your dignity and stop talking with her no matter how much it hurts. There is no easy way out for you, but cutting it off will put you on the road to recovery much, much sooner.
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