CMJ Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we have been living together for the past 4 months. Since day one we have not really had any passion. I can count the times that we have kissed. I wouldn't even consider it kissing unless you think the way one would peck their grandmother as a kiss! He hugs me often and I know he loves me very much and I love him. This works for the most part..I just watch movies and see couples with all the romance and kissing and all this passion. And it makes me miss it! Relationships I have had in the past were full of passion and romance. I have talked to him about these things and I truly feel he is uncomfortable. I just do not know what to do. We have sex often. There is just no passion!
Tethys Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 CMJ - You need passion in a relationship. It's time to find someone new if you're not connecting on this level. If you can't find some sexual attraction, it's not going to improve.
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 There is a chance that he may not be the type to express his feelings with grand gestures of passion, particularly if you say that he seems uncomfortable when you discuss these things - some people prefer a warm steady glow whereas others prefer a raging inferno. If you feel that it's a priority for you to have those grand gestures, it's worth considering whether or not it's a big enough priority to be a deal breaker with the bottom line that you're just not compatible enough.
East7 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 If the relationship was passionless since the day one you guys sound sex-friends rather than 2 people in love, it is never going to improve. If you have experienced passion in the past, it means that there is nothing dysfunctional in you, you are able to have passion. Love is something you can't force or "learn". You just sound trying to convince yourself "I love him".
Jack & Coke Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 You two definitely have to figure this out. A relationship without passion is a friendship.
Jack & Coke Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 If he loves you, hugs you and has sex with you often but won't kiss you much, perhaps you have bad breath and don't know it? See a dentist and talk to the dentist about it.
riley707 Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 He may just like you for what he thinks you can become. Like a good mother for instance. Maybe he's dated mostly idiots and whores and now he's found you, so he figures he should settle down? Or, if you are a good cook or something and his past women were horrible at the stove. The cooking makes up for the lack of passion. It is good you are thinking that passion needs to be an important part of your relationship. However hard you try, trust me you cannot "create" passion in a relationship or let alone marriage. Its either there or it isn't. Is he a good money maker? Do you think he'll be a good father? Have you considered telling him you would like to get married some day but in order for that to work you may need a little something on the side to have some passion?
Angel Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 You only knew him 8 months before you moved in with him? I think there lies your problem. You probably made a mistake in jumping in too soon into a living together situation. I'd back out of it (sweetly), live separately and start the relationship over again, this time taking TIME for him to court you. He needs to want to be with you more than anything/anybody. Be clever about this, don't demand love/kisses. You deserve a warm and loving relationship and being clever is a good way to get what you want; take two steps back, it will be faster and better.
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